Forth Beam Short Stories

Last First Kiss (part 6)

Beam's P.O.V.

After everything that happened I was debating whether I should or shouldn't give Forth some space. I was the one who caused this mess and I needed to at least apologize for putting him in that position. With that in mind I started running towards the direction he left. I saw him walking furious towards his bike. I grabbed his hand which he pulled away harshly before turning to look at me.

"I am not in the mood for this Beam." He said coldly and I just knew I had fucked up so bad.

"Can we just talk please?" I asked and he just laughed drily.

"Oh so now you want to talk right? What the hell have I been trying to do all this time Beam Baramee? I've been coming everyday here trying to settle things between us and you just been avoiding me and now you want to talk after what you did back there? Do you think I'm just some kind of puppet you can toy with whenever you want?" He screamed at me and everyone who was there left quickly. Nobody wanted to mess with a mad Forth. I saw our friends coming over and Knock too I think I also saw Korn but I wasn't sure.

"I'm sorry I know I've messed up." I said looking down because I could feel the tears threatening to fall from my eyes. I heard him mumble something I couldn't comprehend before a loud sound startled me. He had kicked the trash can beside him and was now walking away furiously running his hand through his hair. He looked at me and when he saw I was crying I noticed his expression soften a little.

"Fine come with me, let's talk then." He said grabbing my wrist gently even though I could tell he was still mad. Knock quickly spoke up.

"Wait where are you taking him?" He said concerned and Forth glared at him.

"It's ok Knock I'll be fine." I replied and he nodded but still looked doubtful.

I left with Forth who guided me to a more secluded area next to the basketball court. He sat down putting his elbows on his knees not looking at me.

"I'm sorry for creating this mess I-I thought. Fuck I should've talked to you first." I said regretting not confessing my feelings the night of the competition. "I thought you were courting Wayo." I said in a low voice ashamed.

"What? Why would you think that?" He said looking at me with his eyebrows raised.

"It's just that when I was focusing on studying I remember you telling me you were hanging out with him..." I started but he cut me off.

"So I was courting him because I was hanging out with him?" He replied coldly.

"Let me finish." I said and he nodded and I prepared myself for what I was going to say. "Then at the night of the competition I was going to confess my feelings for you and I saw you give eleven roses to Wayo and only one to Ming then you were talking with him outside and he said he was sad that it didn't work out and you told him you'll get over it and then you were his date to the party that time and I don't know how do you explain that?" I said and Forth stood up mad.

"Seriously Beam Baramee I just can't with you right now." He said walking away but then came back and stopped in front of me. "I don't even know where to start. I am so pissed off at you right now. You are telling me you eavesdropped on me! Didn't even bother to ask me about anything and just believed your own assumptions. You should at least dig a little deeper. Wayo it's my cousin which I thought you already knew! The flowers where from his mother who couldn't be there and I stole one for Ming since I didn't have time to buy one and I was his mentor I had to give him one. We were talking about you when you were eavesdropping on our conversation and lastly why the fuck would I kiss you at the party if I'm trying to court Wayo. That doesn't make any sense!" Forth replied raising his voice and I realized how stupid I've been.

"Why didn't you say anything?" I asked confused.

"Why would I? I've been clear with my feelings for you since the beginning and you know it. I told you I liked you when we first met and you said you were straight. Still I flirted with you every chance I got and you were annoyed with me. The farthest I could get was being your friend! Then you came telling me that you were engaged to another man and said that you were open to a relationship with another man! Do you know how that made me feel? After all this time chasing you and when things were starting to get real you ran. You said you had to focus on your studies and stopped hanging out completely with me. Which was a shitty excuse because Pha was courting Wayo and Ming was courting Kit and they had time. But still I just let you be in order for you to accept your feelings. But what did you do? You say you were going to confess your feelings but you clearly still can't accept that you love me. Instead of trying to find out if I was really courting Wayo you just took it as your way out. You just wanted me to be the first one to confess that I love you. Because you didn't want to get hurt but what about me then huh? It doesn't matter if I get hurt right? All this time I've been hurting! Waiting for you patiently, letting you push me away and still coming back to you. Getting my heart broken to pieces but still fight for you because that how much I love you. But this is over, I am tired of this. My heart can't take this anymore Beam. You finally made it you pushed me away." Forth finished with tears rolling down his eyes and I too I couldn't contain my emotions. He got closer putting his forehead against mine and let out a sigh.

"Please don't this, I love you Forth. I admit I was scared of this but I am not anymore. I want this, I want you. Don't leave me please." I said grabbing his shirt not wanting him to go. He pulled back whipping the tears that were falling from my eyes. He took both of my hands from his shirt and held them with his. I looked at him hopefully waiting for what he was going to say.

"I'm sorry Beam but I can't accept you, not right now. I don't want to keep getting hurt anymore. I don't want someone who can't accept their feelings, someone who is ashamed to be with me that's not fair. I love you, I don't think I'll ever stop either but I guess it better this way right now." He said giving me a kiss on the forehead before he released my hands and turned away leaving. I started sobbing as I watched him leave without looking back.

I don't know how much time had passed when my friends arrived and took me out of there taking me to my apartment. They were trying to contact Forth but he couldn't be reached. Nobody had seen him after he left me a couple of hours ago.

A.N.

This is not the end. I'm still not sure how I want to end it though but we'll see what happens. The next story probably won't have angst I think you've already had enough of it 😅.