Forth Beam Short Stories

Love of my life (part 3)

Beam's P.O.V.

I spent most of the weekend in my room. For some reason it just felt wrong to go out. I don't know why but I was sad for Forth. I mean I did hurt him but it's over now. Yeah it's over I thought sadly. Ugh why it's this taking over my thought I should be free from him not thinking about him. But I do wonder if he is ok. I've been wanting to check on him since I left but I don't think that's a good idea all things considered. If he wants to stay away from me I should do my part by not looking for him.

I had another quiz on Monday so I tried to focus my attention as much as I could on my books. This time I was distracted and couldn't seem to concentrate. I decided to skip lunch and go straight away to study. I was focused on my book when someone put his hand on my shoulder. I unconsciously smiled seems like he can't stay away from me.

"Didn't you say you were staying away from me huh? What is this then?" I said turning to look back. My smile faltered when I realized it wasn't Forth.

"What are you talking about?" Phana asked looking at me weirdly.

"Ah nothing I thought you were someone else." I said sadly turning to my books. Whatever who wanted him to come anyway. I certainly did not.

"Who?" Asked Phana looking at me curiously and I raised and eyebrow looking at him. "What? Why can't you tell me who it is?" He asked looking at me defiantly. I sighed looking away.

"I thought you were Forth." I said not looking at him in the eye.

"So you finally pushed him away then." He said and I nodded. "Good for him." He continued and I turned to glare at him.

"You make it sound like I was the worst person in the world to have feelings for." I said annoyed.

"Well you said it not me. But it is true." He said and I gasped.

"Am I that bad?" I asked shocked.

"Well to be honest yes, I mean I'm sure you didn't do it intentionally. But damn Beam how long was it like a year? He came here everyday looking for you, helping you, making sure you were happy. Last Friday I saw how you let him pull you into his embrace then you two were studying together. You always said you were pushing him away but it didn't look like that. You enjoyed his attention and having him close because you knew he would do anything for you. I pitied him we all did. You are one of my best friends Beam and I love you but admit it what you did was wrong. You even went out on dates with him and all but still you said you didn't like him. I was hoping you'd change your mind because we really thought he was getting to you and you were going to accept him. But it seems like he finally let go." He said sincerely and I was shocked.

I hadn't realize I've been such a bad person. I led him on, I made him think he had an opportunity. I've never seen it that way. I need to apologize to him later.

"Don't stress about it, Forth's tough he will be fine soon." Said Phana patting my back before turning to his book. But I couldn't concentrate anymore I was lost in thought and for some reason it bother me that he won't want me anymore.

Soon it was time for the quiz and I've never felt so nervous about one before. I was one of the last people to finish it. When the grades where posted I had gotten a B-. I sighed mad it wasn't such a bad score but still I always did better than this. I remember last Friday I was so happy to get a perfect score because Forth was taking me out to dinner after. Maybe I did make a mistake I thought but then I shook my head. It's not him that I miss I was just used to having him around, I miss the things he did for me not the person.

As I was lying in my bed looking at the ceiling I tried to remember all the things Forth did for me that I took for granted and I realized they were a lot. He always came even when I had to study and made sure I ate and even helped me, he constantly got me snacks and always made sure I was ok. When I went to the bar he always made sure I got home ok even if I had been with a girl which must hurt him. He planned my birthday with all of my friends and family. When I fought with Kit and Phana he always found a way to cheer me up until we apologized. He was always pulling me into his embrace and treated me lovingly. He joked about it but he never kissed me on the lips because he knew I would be mad. I mean I don't have to think a lot in every happy or sad moment that I had through the past year he has always been beside me no matter if I hurt him. I really am a bad person and I don't deserve him that's for sure. He is much better off without me. I really should apologize to him.