Forth Beam Short Stories

I want you (part 5)

Beam's P.O.V.

The ride back to my dorm was quiet. Pha was driving my car and I spent all of the drive mostly looking through the window. I was trying hard not to cry but it freaking hurt. In the end it wasn't his fault. I should've never approached him. But I did and I started being his friends full on knowing that he had no real feelings for me. I was foolish to think that I could make him fall for me. I hadn't even realized we were already back in my dorm until Pha shook me. I looked at him confused for a second.

"Oh we're already here sorry I was distracted." I said getting off my car.

"Do you want us to stay with you tonight?" Asked Pha.

"Don't worry I'm fine I just want to be alone right now." I said sadly.

"Next time I see Forth he's gonna regret this." Said Pha sounding really mad.

"It's not his fault Pha he didn't cheat on me or anything. He never said he had feelings for me. He never promised anything it was my own damn fault. I should've never done this. I guess this is my punishment for being a Casanova right? I don't deserve his love anyway." I said wiping the tears that finally started streaming out of my face with the back of my hand. They both came to hug me at the same time and I could hear Kit sniffing too.

"You are a great person Beam and if one of us deserve to find love it's you. You have a heart of gold Beam never forget that. You haven't done anything wrong you hear me." Said Kit pulling back from our hug to look me in the eye and I noticed he was crying too. I just hugged him tighter.

"It hurts Kit, so freaking bad." I said full on sobbing in his arm. "I can't believe I love him this much." I managed to say between sobs.

I don't know how much time we were standing there but it felt like hours. I just let all of my feelings out and now I just felt so fucking tired and heart broken.

"Where were you?" Asked Kit and I looked up to see Pha walking towards us. I hadn't even realized he had left us.

"I had to make a phone call. I was also buying you this you've been crying a lot so drink it." Said Pha handing me a bottle of water. In the other I noticed he had a bag full of my favorite snacks.

"You need us today so we are staying with you. We will cry with you if you need us to or just be in the living room while you are in your room. But we are not leaving you alone. We are in this together that means the good and the bad. We will help you get over him don't worry. It's his loss anyway I know you will find someone to love even if it's not him ok?" Said Pha.

"Thank you guys I don't know what I'll do without you." I said wiping my tears again trying to compose myself. "Let's go up to my apartment we must look like idiots crying here so late at night." I said standing up. They followed me to my room and I tried really hard to cheer up and be ok so Pha and Kit didn't have to worry. We were in the living room watching a funny movie that was supposed to cheer me up but I couldn't get into it. In the end they ended both falling asleep first. Kit was on the couch next to me and Pha on the floor using a cushion as his pillow. I brought them each a blanket and went to my room.

As I was lying in bed I kept replaying the scene in my head. I just couldn't believe it. I seriously though there was something happening between us. He clearly knew I had feelings for him and the way he treated me. I don't know at least I don't treat my friends like that. I took out my phone and started re-reading our old messages. Looking at all the pictures and messages we sent each other made me even sadder.

I regret so much falling in love. I should've just stayed as far away from him as I could. At least when I was a Casanova picking up girls at the bar every day nobody got hurt. It was what it was and we all knew what we were getting in to. But no I had to leave that life. I wanted more than that. Was it too much to ask for somebody who loved me. Someone I could come home to and was always there for me, who took care of me and we could laugh and have fun. I wanted something serious that would last forever but maybe that kind of life isn't for me. It was foolish for me to think that after everything I've done someone would fall in love with me. I bet he never took me seriously maybe he thinks this was just one big joke. After all how could me of all people end up falling in love so carelessly not even I would believe that if you asked me a couple of months ago.

That night I fell asleep crying and feeling miserable. Who thought a broken heart would hurt this much. Out of all the scenarios that I played on my head thinking how he would reject me when I confessed my feelings for him. Never in a million years I thought it would hurt this bad or that I would find out that he didn't love me in this way. Without realizing it morning had come again and I hadn't slept. I was tired I just couldn't bring myself to salí asleep they were too many thoughts running in my head.

Meanwhile...

In Forth's dorm room he was waking up with the worst hangover of his life. He was even more surprised to see his best friends Lam and Park where the ones to wake him up to talk. They wanted to know if he could recall what had happened the night before. He was confused as to why it was important.

"I did what?!?" Screamed Forth when Lam finished telling him how he fucked up the night before.

A.N.

I am so so sorry for taking this long to update! I wish I had a good excuse but I was just feeling bummed out about other things and that kind of took my motivation to write too. But I'm back and I'm glad you guys are enjoying the story because so far it's one of my favorites! Next chapter comes out tomorrow hopefully!