Forth Beam Short Stories

Love of my life (part 4)

Beam's P.O.V.

It's been a while since I last saw Forth and I was unsettled. With every passing day the only thing that I could think about was that I needed to apologize. Pha and Kit had already told me it was a bad idea and that I should stay away and let him move on. But still I can't shake off the feeling that I was a bad person. Apologizing won't hurt him right? I needed to see him this was driving me crazy. I turned to Pha and Kit who were beside me.

"Do you really think I shouldn't apologize? It's the least he deserves after everything." I said and I can't even count how many times we've already had this conversation.

"Beam Baramee I already told you to drop it. Give him his space to move on and forget you!" Said Pha looking at me sternly.

"But I can't Phana! It's eating me away." I said frustrated and they sighed looking at each other.

"Beam." Said Kit putting a hand on my shoulder. "I'm going to ask you something very seriously and you have to answer me honestly ok?" He said and I nodded quickly. "Do you perhaps miss Forth and that's why you're so desperate to see him?" He said and my eyes widened and I shook my head.

"I'm not desperate to see him I-I-I just feel guilty." I said unsure of myself and I heard them both sigh while shaking their heads.

"Look Beam it's not gonna do him any good. It's been like eight days and while he couldn't have possibly moved on already he must have done some progress and you showing up in front of him isn't gonna help it'll just send him back to square one. So if you feel guilty like you say then the best thing you can do for him at this very moment is just let him be. Let him forget you." He said and I sighed dejected.

"I guess you are right as always." I said giving up and he patted my back before they continued walking towards the food court.

I stopped walking contemplating what I should do. I mean he was right I give him that but that doesn't mean it's going to stop me. I turned around and went towards the parking lot. They were too busy talking to notice I didn't follow them. I quickly left before they came looking for me and I drove towards the engineering faculty. Once I was there I was contemplating if I did the right thing or if I should leave. In the end I still wanted to see if he at least was doing ok so I got out of my car. I tried to avoid people I knew here which weren't a lot but girls always tend to make a fuss when I appeared and also I didn't want Ming to see me and call Kit. As I approached their food court I was praying he was there and hadn't gone out to eat.

I saw him sitting down with his friends. He looked fine so that's good. He shouldn't be sad because of me. I admired him from a while to make sure he was ok. I was about to leave when a girl approached him. She handed him some food and sat down besides him. I didn't like it she was sitting too close and is he about to eat what she gave him? My feet seemed to have a mind of their own and before I could think what I was doing I was standing in front of them.

"Beam? What are you doing here?" Asked Lam confused and I looked at Forth who was just staring at me.

"I was giving something to Ming from Kit but I'm quite hungry so I'm just going to eat here." I said the first thing that came to my mind. I was about to turn around to leave when Forth grabbed my wrist.

"Where are you going didn't you say you were hungry?" He asked pulling me to sit down beside him. I opened my mouth to talk but I didn't know what to say. He pushed his food towards me.

"Eat." He said not looking at me. The girls beside him was about to say something but he stood up. She glared and me but I ignored her happily munching on my food. Forth returned a few minutes later with some food for him and two drinks he gave me one. The girl ended leaving after Forth sat down to eat.

I realized I had missed having lunch with him. We didn't talk but it wasn't awkward or anything. I was just happy to be here with him. His friends ended leaving us two alone when they finished eating. Forth turned to look at me.

"What are you really doing here?" He asked once we were alone. I looked at him confused.

"I already told you." I said and he smiled shaking his head.

"Ah right you came to give something to Ming. Did you find him?" He asked and I nodded.

"Yeah, he was easy to spot." I said and this time he laughed out loud. I looked at him confused.

"What?" I asked.

"The freshmen are not on campus today. They went on a field trip." He said and my eyes instantly widened and I felt my cheeks heating up. "Now you want to tell me why you're really here?" He said and I was trying to come up with a valid reason but none came to mind.

"I wanted to make sure you were ok." I said sincerely turning in my seat so that I was facing him and he nodded.

"I'm fine." He said smiling at me.

"I'm sorry Forth, I really am, for everything I didn't mean to hurt you." I said doing what I came here for in the first place. I couldn't even look him in the eye until he grabbed both my hands in his.

"It's ok Beam it's not your fault that you didn't feel the same way. But still it will take me some time to move on. I told you I'm staying away from you until I can move on, you should do the same. I will be ok I promise." He said looking at me straight in the eyes and I nodded.

"Now that I'm sure you are doing fine I'll stay away. I just missed hanging out with you that's all." I replied.

"Well since you're already here it wouldn't hurt to spend some time together? For old times sake?" He said unsure and I nodded happily.

"Let's do that." I agreed instantly.

"Where should we go?" He asked standing up from his seat.

"I don't know, we can go wherever you want." I said following him.