Friends with benefits (part 4)

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Beam's P.O.V.

I cursed myself all the way home. I was pissed because of that jerk. And why the hell was I so mad? We had an agreement. I was the one who made the rules for Pete's sake! I wasn't supposed to get jealous like that but I acted as if my boyfriend had been caught cheating on me. Also I should be able to sleep with whoever I want but I kept thinking about that motherfucker who didn't seem to care I was leaving with somebody else to have sex! I even brought him to my apartment and went over to his and stayed the night after having sex. Fuck he even made me breakfast most of the time. This isn't how things should be. We agreed to just call each other and do our business in a hotel or one of the rooms upstairs from the bar and then leave. But we have broken almost all of the rules! I hit the steering wheel feeling mad and frustrated. Thankfully I was already close to home so I just parked my car and walked upstairs. On my way there I bumped into Kit who was coming down.

"What happened to you?" He stopped to say when he saw me.

"Nothing." I replied hoping he'd let me walk away.

"It's not nothing you look like you're in rage. Did you fight with Forth?" He asked and I glared at him.

"Why would I fight with that jerk we have nothing to fight about." I said raising my voice a little and Kit looked at me with an eyebrow raised.

"Easy there boy or you are going to explode from anger."

"Yeah yeah whatever we are just fuck buddies I have nothing to fight about with him because he can do whatever he wants and I shouldn't care." I said and he rolled his eyes.

"You are right you shouldn't but let me ask you something. Do you care if he is with somebody else? Will you be ok with him not coming anymore to have sex with you? What if he gets into a serious relationship?" He said and I knotted my brows thinking hard about it and I heard Kit sigh putting a hand on my shoulder. "Beam please think about this seriously you are playing a dangerous game here so maybe it's time you stopped it? How long were you planning on sleeping with him anyway? With girls you didn't do it more than twice but with him it's been months Beam. I don't want you to get hurt ok?" He said and I nodded. He gave me a small smile and patted my back before he continue walking. I did the same going over to my apartment.

Once I was inside I started pondering on what Kit said. Can I let him go whenever I want? It's just sex right I can find someone else easily. But I don't want anyone else. I throw myself in the bed looking at the ceiling. I am in deep shit. Just thinking about that girl hugging him made me so mad imagine seeing him pick up someone at the bar. Or worse imagine him settling down with someone else. He can't do that I won't let him. As I laid there realization hit me. I just broke the last and most important rule we had made. We shouldn't absolutely under any circumstances catch feelings for the other person. But shit I don't think I only have feelings for him I must have liked him way before when I allowed him into my apartment and life without question. Now? Now I think I may be in love with him dammit. I quickly grabbed my phone and dialed his number. He picked up after the third ring.

"What miss me already?" He answered and I stayed quiet for a second. "Beam? Are you there?" He continued and I took a big breath feeling my hands shaking.

"Forth can you come over to my apartment." I said and now it was his turn to be silent.

"Are you ok? Why do you sound so sad." He said and I could tell he was worried.

"I am fine so can you come?" I asked again. I could hear someone talking in the background but I couldn't make out what they were saying.

"I am doing something right now but I can come in a while. Just give me two hours and I'll come over with lunch ok?" He said and I wanted to ask what he was doing and who he was with but I was scared of the answer.

"Ok then see you." I said before hanging up. I couldn't help but wonder if he was with another girl. What if he lied about the aunties granddaughter? Maybe he was on a date with her or something right now.

I decided to try to distract myself until he came. I put on a series and tried concentrating on it but my mind kept drifting away towards Forth from time to time. The two hours and a half before he got here felt eternal. Once I heard the knock on the door I practically ran to answer it.

"I brought lunch." He said showing me the bag. I had forgotten about that. I smiled letting him in. We sat down and for some reason he was really close to me. I gulped nervously. Fuck what did I get myself into. Did I really think I wouldn't fall for him? I kept telling myself I wasn't gay but really though who am I fooling here. Well maybe him I thought looking at Forth who was munching happily on the food.

"So what did you want to talk about." He said when we were almost done. I hadn't said much while we ate. I was mostly thinking about how stupid I am for not realizing this stopped being just about sex since a long time ago even though I denied it.

"I want to stop being fuck buddies." I blurted our and he choked on the food. I quickly gave him some water and he looked at me confused.

"Jesus Christ Beam couldn't you at least let me gulp down my food." He said coughing.

"Sorry." I said wanting to laugh but refraining myself since this was serious.

"Well if that's what you want I'm ok with it." He said and this time I was the one surprised. I thought he would try to convince me otherwise.

"Really? Just like that." I said and he was looking at me. He suddenly brought his hand closer and fixed my hair.

"I mean that's what you want I don't have a say here this is between two people." He said moving his hand to caress my cheek before continuing towards my neck until he reached the sensitive spot behind my ear. "It's ok though it was good while it lasted right?" He said with his hand still caressing my sensitive spot. I don't know what he just said I was just focusing on his hand.

"Huh." I replied confused and he let out a laugh before dropping his hand from behind my ear towards my neck to pull me closer.

"Stop it I can't think straight." I said grabbing his hand with mine.

"Hmm should I?" He said dropping a kiss on the corner of my lips. I created some distance between us by putting my hand on his shoulder and pushing him back a little. "Well I guess I'll see you at the bar tonight." He said and I instantly was in rage again forgetting all the things I wanted to do to him a moment ago. Now I just want to strangle him. He's getting back in the game tonight? I just broke off our agreement and he's thinking already on getting someone else tonight. This idiot really.

"Well you can do whatever you want I'll be here tonight in my apartment doing nothing." I replied coldly sitting as far as I could from him at the moment.

"It's that an invitation." He smirked at me and I just scowled.

"No, I already said what I wanted you can leave now." I said and he looked at me amused again. Seriously it's that the only expression he has right now or what? I was getting annoyed.

"You're right I need to do some things. I'll see you soon Beam." He said standing up to leave. I wanted to ask where he was going but whatever I shouldn't care what he does now. In fact I never should have cared from the start. He left and I slammed the door. Seriously what did I expect anyway. I returned to my bed feeling miserable.

"I hate you Forth Jaturapoom." I mumbled against my pillow. Did I seriously think that he would try to convince me not to break our agreement. Really what did I want from him? To tell me he loved me because I didn't want to in fear of being rejected. Whatever he rejected me anyway when he didn't even try to object my decision.

A.N.

I'm guessing most of you will be confused on how Forth is acting. But be patient the story is not over yet. You will just have to trust me on this.

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