Forth Beam Short Stories

You are mine (part 5)

Beam's P.O.V.

"Why do you have trouble sleeping?" He said and I chocked on my food. He gave me some water which I gladly accepted. Why does he want to know though? But then again I think I should tell him. He seems interested in me which he shouldn't be really. So maybe that will push him away. Because I can't seem to do it on my own I mean yesterday he just took me with him and I let him! Then he got me to stay with him and I was even ok when I woke up and we were cuddling. He is getting on my personal space way too much and I don't like it.

"Not here, anyone could hear us." I said and he nodded.

"Well let's go somewhere more private." He said and I looked at him raising an eyebrow.

"Don't you have class or I don't know something better to do." I said and he shook his head.

"No you're more important that everything." He said and I gasped. It made my heart skip a beat this is not good. I shook my head.

"Stop saying none sense Forth. Come on let's go get this over with." I said and he followed. I was walking towards my car when he grabbed my wrist pulling me a different direction. "Seriously you need to stop dragging me away whenever you want." I said loosing my hand from his grip.

"Sorry it's become an habit now. But let's take my bike I know a place we could talk." He said and I just followed him. He gave me a helmet and I put it on getting in the bike. I didn't know what to do with my hands and he noticed I was hesitating I settled for gripping his jacket loosely at the sides.

"Come on you already slept on my bed and we cuddle happily stop acting shy." He said grabbing my hands and wrapped them around his waist making me closer to him. I could hear my heart beating faster having him so close I hope he can't feel it. Thank God I'm putting a stop to this now before I get too involved. I watched him drive off the city and I wondered where he was taking me. We made a stop quickly after that at a lake house. It was really a beautiful place. It made me feel at peace.

"You like it here?" He asked and I nodded just looking at the place in awe.

"It's mine I am so attached to this place my parents gifted it to me. They wanted to sell it since we stopped coming but I didn't let them. This place it has a special meaning to me." He said getting emotional.

"But this doesn't look abandoned it's well kept." I said confused looking at him.

"I like to come here often. Every chance I get." He responded. "Come on let's get in." He said taking my hand and pulling me with him. I let him since I was distracted looking around. Once we were inside I was amazed. It was just as beautiful it felt homely.

"This place is amazing." I said.

"I'm glad you like it." He said. He prepared some snacks and we went to the back porch.

"Well I guess it's my turn to talk then." I sighed.

"You don't have to really. I should really just mind my own business let's just enjoy our time here." He said looking at me concerned and I shook my head.

"It's ok, you helped me get some rest. If you weren't there for me I probably would have fall in sick. Well it isn't anything serious really I'm just being stupid." I started but he cut me off taking my hands in his.

"It's not stupid whatever it is that's making you feel that way it's a valid reason don't put yourself down like that ok?" He said and really why is this guy so fucking sweet it's making me feel things and I don't want to. I took my hands out from his and diverted my gaze to the lake in front of us.

"Thank you for that. But anyway I...I have abandonment issues." It felt great to finally let it out like a weight has been lifted. "My mother she left me, one night she tucked me into bed and the next day she wasn't there anymore. Since then I've been having trouble sleeping and trusting people. I don't like to be alone you know? But at the same time I don't want to get too close to anyone so they can't leave me. When I was a kid my father used to stay with me or there was always someone beside me while I slept and then when I came to college it just got harder again. I found comfort in being with someone so that's how my casanova life began. Girls they just throw themselves at me and I figured well if they just want sex I'll give it to them and I'll have someone to spend the night with it's a win-win situation. But lately I've been getting tired of that life and it's getting harder being alone at my apartment. Then in the weekend we have study group all weekend and since my friends now have boyfriends we didn't sleepover as usual they just left and I was so tired. But every time I fell asleep I'll wake up an hour later or so. Then you came and I was finally able to rest and I don't know I guess that's it." I finished looking down at my coffee mug who right now seemed to be much more interesting. It felt nice to just let it all out and talk about it but now I just feel awkward. I shouldn't have told my problems to him of all people who I don't know. Not even Pha and Kit are aware of this and they are my best friends.

"I'm sorry you had to go through that Beam. It honestly breaks my heart." He said standing up and coming over to give me a hug. I returned it tightening my embrace I really needed this. We stayed like that for a while until I pulled out.

"Thank you for everything. I don't know why you're doing this but I appreciate it." I said.

"Can I be honest with you?" He said and I nodded. "I know you may not want to hear this and I think it's stupid to tell you now after everything you said but I like you. Not in a friend way but in a I want you to be my partner for life way. I know thats not what you want to hear but if you just let me prove myself to you I'll make sure you'd never have another lonely night for the rest of your life. I won't expect anything from you now since I know for the time being your heart it's not open for anyone. But just let me be there for you when you need me and then later down the road we can see if it's possible to be something else. I'll understand whatever you decide and even if you don't want to just know that I am one call away it doesn't matter if you reject me or not so don't feel pressured ok?" He said and I was shocked. I knew he had a crush on me that but was obvious but this much I didn't expect. I just thought he'll run away not confess.

"I need some time to think about this I don't even know what to say I'm so confused." I responded but it was more like thinking out loud.

"It's ok take your time. I'm going to cook us some dinner I was here a couple of days ago I think I still have some groceries. You can do whatever you want." He said leaving me alone.

I decided to take a short walk around and enjoy the fresh air. I just walked up to the lake which was very close and stayed there for a while. I didn't know what I could possibly answer to him. Normally I just say I don't want to be in a relationship but he already knows that. I can't trust anyone and he's no different. He can't promise to be there everyone leaves at some point. But I don't want to hurt his feelings he's been nothing but good to me. I'm so confused honestly. After a while I returned and just sat down at the porch alone with my thought until he came to tell me dinner was ready. We ate in silence but it was not awkward just peaceful.

"We should go back now or you won't be able to make it back to your dorm." He said and I was sad leaving this place. I honestly didn't want to. "We could stay if you wanted to but I'm not sure whatever you'd like to do." He said and I instantly looked at him.

"I have class at noon what about you?" I asked.

"Same as you." He answered.

"Then can we spend the night?" I asked and he nodded.

We went to the living room to watch a movie and talk about random stuff. He didn't brought up the topic about me letting him in to my life again so I was grateful for that. It was getting late and I was wondering how we would sleep. He yawned clearly sleepy he's been fighting his tiredness for a while.

"Let's go to sleep." I said feeling tired too and he nodded standing up to show me the way. I noticed him getting a blanket and pillow and putting it on the floor. "I am not sleeping on the floor." I said.

"I know it's for me." He replied.

"What? No, lets just share the bed it's not like it would be the first time." I said.

"But this time you know about my feelings." He replied.

"It doesn't matter it's not like you didn't have them that time. Just get on the bed with me I need a cuddle." I said and he did t think twice before climbing in bed and pulling me to his arms. I sighed contently knowing I will be able to sleep good today I drifted off quickly. I might just give him a chance after all.