Forth Beam Short Stories

Change of heart (part 2)

Forth's P.O.V.

I was shocked seeing my mother in the mall I didn't even knew she was in the area. I quickly walked up to her with P'Fai following me closely.

"Mom? What are you doing here? You came to visit? Why didn't you tell me?" I started to throw questions at her since I was confused. She eyed us both and had a scowl on her face when she saw P'Fai. She turned to look at me coldly.

"I came to see Beam to make sure he's ok. I was grocery shopping because I'm cooking for him. Don't worry I was going to stay at a hotel but Beam insisted that I stay with him" she said coldly. She's obviously still mad at me. I ignored that part because there was something more I wanted to ask.

"How is he holding up? Is he doing ok?" I asked. I've been worried about him.

"You are in no position to ask that all things considered. You won't get any information from me now if you'll excuse me I still have things to buy before I go back" she said and just walked away. I just sighed sadly I'm going through a hard time and my mom isn't even on my side.

"Did you fight with your mom?" Asked P'Fai looking concerned.

"We had a disagreement but it's ok let's go" I began walking towards the parking lot.

"So who's Beam?" She asked looking at me.

"Someone who came into my life while you were gone" I answered vaguely. She let it be and we left.

Two weeks had passed and things between us were going ok. We barely saw each other due to our busy schedules. We were out in a date eating dinner. When we were almost done she surprised me.

"So I was thinking maybe I could stay at you place tonight?" She asked. I was taken aback by her boldness.

"Sure" I replied after a while. She my girlfriend after all how could I say no. I payed for our meal and we went to my dorm room.

"Wow your place is so neat! I remember your room was always a mess. You've changed" I hadn't notice it but now that she mentions it it's true. That was Beam's doing he was such a neat person while I didn't care much about the mess. Since it was such a big deal for him I started cleaning up after myself but hadn't realized I kept on doing it even though he was no longer in my life.

Since it was late we decided to go to sleep. I took a bath and changed and she did the same and I lend her some of my clothes. When she got on the bed I went to cuddle her but she stopped me.

"You know I don't like cuddling it's uncomfortable" she said. I simply nodded and grabbed a pillow to hug since I was used to cuddling something when I went to sleep.

The next day when I woke up super late I noticed she wasn't in the room. I looked around and she had left a note saying she had an early class. Which I had too but I slept through it. I sighed maybe she forgot I had a morning class too. I got dressed up and left to attend my evening classes.

A week passed by and I was already sick of her. I hadn't realize just how incompatible we both were. Now I know the reason it took me a while to accept her feelings and even longer to have some for her. She liked things done her way and never compromises. She's also not a big fan of affection so she barely lets me hold her hand and kiss her. We were currently in my dorm which she has practically moved in even though she never asked me. I was sitting on the couch watching a movie and she was taking a bath. After she got out she sat next to me.

"Hey can we talk?" She asked. I turned my attention towards her turning off the tv.

"Sure" I replied

"Well I went back to my dorm yesterday for a while. I was rummaging through my stuff and look what I found!" She said holding up a familiar looking paper. It was a list we made when we were younger.

"Wow you still have this" I said taking the paper from her hand and looking at it.

"Yeah I still had hope I would come back to you some day so I kept it! Look we are still on track!" She said.

I was looking through talk the stuff we had done. Then I saw the next thing in the list was moving in together we she had basically done by now. After that it said get married by the time we're 21. I looked at her then at the paper again I am almost 21.

"Your birthday is coming soon and I'm already 21!" She said excitedly. I just look at her dumbfounded. Does she seriously expect us to get married so soon? I didn't know what to say.

"I, wow, I didn't remember that! We made that when we were like 18" I said.

"You seemed a bit shocked so let's just forget about it for now. I thought you wanted to continue where we left off so I assumed that mean continuing our plan. But it's ok" she stated but seemed clearly upset. She took me by surprise I was here thinking how much we have changed and she wants to get married! I sighed before answering.

"You know what I'm tired, let's sleep it off and we'll continue talking tomorrow. How does that sound?" I said.

"Yeah we should do that" she said and stood up quickly going to the bedroom. I followed her behind. She usually likes to keep a distance when we sleep but today if she moved a little bit further she would fall of the bed. I ignored her actions not in the mood to deal with her childish games.

No matter what I couldn't get myself to sleep. I was thinking how things have changed so much between us. I'm a completely different person and she still has her childish behaviors. When we were younger I kind of understood the lack of PDA at that age it still grossed me out a bit. Now that we were more mature I thought she would change. But things are the same she barely lets me kiss her when we are alone. In public she gets uncomfortable with holding hands for too long. I'm a person who likes to give attention to my partner. My thoughts drifted towards Beam. With him I could be myself completely I showered him with love and he did too. We were always holding hands and I like to give him back hugs and kisses and we cuddled at home. I miss him so much.

I can't imagine myself marrying P'Fai. I don't want to spend the rest of my life with her. I love her but it's definitely not like a partner in life. Now that I think about it I realize that I haven't even talked with her about the PDA thing and it's because I don't like to shower her with love. Kissing her feels more like something I should do because I'm her boyfriend now. I started comparing our relationship with mine and Beam's and I realize the mistake I made. I can't believe I'm so stupid. Beam has always been the one I can't imagine him marrying anyone else it has to be me. Why didn't I realize this sooner I made such a fucking mess and hurt Beam really badly in the process. Now I'm gonna have to hurt P'Fai too. I'm pretty sure Beam won't want me back either I should just stay alone for a while anyways. I already figure out my feelings but Beam would think that I'm indecisive and won't want to get back together with me. I don't deserve either of them I just end up hurting everyone by being selfish. With a heavy heart I drifted off to sleep.

A.N.

I'm really sorry for the wait and the crappy chapter! I've been so busy and honestly I'm only going to get busier but I'll make time to update. I'm planning on writing as much as I can on the weekends so during the week I'll just have to post the chapters. Hopefully I'll be able to do this. This one gets better I promise! Next chapter is already done I'm just passing it since I wrote it on my note book during class (which I really shouldn't be doing but that's besides the point 😂) expect and update tomorrow.