Self proclaimed monsters (Loki x reader)

92. Learning process

~Aka pov~

Rosa and Matt get acquainted faster than you expected and soon they're laughing and joking around. You go to the kitchen to get some water for the three of you and come back.

"Rosa here's your- oof!"

A startled Rosa punches you right in the stomach and the wind it knocked out of you for a moment.

"Oops! Sorry mom"

"It's alright rose, here's your water"

The rest of the day goes smoothly and you're not sure exactly what Matt said to her but Rosa seems encouraged. Matt promises to help her learn to take care of herself without sight.

~Rosa pov~

Somehow, your time with Matt gave you something you forgot you could have anymore: hope. You now have hope for a better life, maybe even redemption.

~Angel & Enchao~

Angel has been having lots of fun with eclipse and Enchao has been having lots of fun with building things(a skill he picked up) but it's coming to the time in their lives where they need to really go to school and their parents decided to sit and have a talk with them about it.

Their parents let them decide what they want to do for school and they talk it out for a while before they make their decision. Angel decides that she wants to spend every other week on Asgard while Enchao decides that he wants to go to midgardian school for three weeks out of the month and then go to Asgardian school the last week.

It is decided and their parents work on setting it up for them before school starts.

~Rosa~

Thanks to Matt, Rosa is getting much better at getting around without her sight and is even learning to fight, though she's not very good at it yet. It's been a month and a half since Rosa and Matt met and she is really getting the hang of navigating the tower, even playing tag with her younger siblings at times.

Everyone has been really nice to her and are respecting her boundaries well. Learning from Matt has really given her a good distraction from her trauma and she is doing better overall. Of course she still has bad days and occasionally she wakes Bucky up to help her work through a nightmare but there aren't nearly as many as there were before.

She goes to Bucky instead of her parents because Bucky understands what she's going through better than her parents seem to, or at least he's better at helping with it. Rosa knows that Bucky has ptsd just like she does, not from the same trauma but they do have very similar symptoms. That makes it easier for them to relate to each other.

~Aka Pov~

With the twins going to school the tower is slightly less chaotic. The twins are both enjoying school and you are glad, they seem to be learning a lot too, much faster than their classmates. Angel has been training with Nat before school in the mornings because you want her to be prepared for her required Valkyrie training.

Bucky has been spending a lot of time during the day helping Rosa continue with her school from home. You are eternally grateful for his dedication and you have noticed that Rosa learns a lot better when Bucky is teaching than she does when you are teaching.

You can tell they have a connection. You can tell that she feels safe with him by the way she acts when she's with him. You are happy for her but you can't help but wish you could help her the way Bucky does. You have tried to help her with her trauma but it is extremely difficult when you're not over your own trauma.

Every time you attempt to help her talk through something you end up in a flashback or breakdown yourself. You found out that a thousand years of memories also brings a thousand years of trauma.

(TW: mentions of SA, violence, and abuse)
A thousand years of abusive lovers and not-lovers. A thousand years of misogyny and rape and being treated as less than. You can't even count how many times you've been burned at the stake, gotten stuck in wolf form and thrown in a pound, trusted someone and been stabbed in the back, etc.

As time goes on you're realizing more and more why those memories were suppressed in the first place.

You understand what Rosa is going through because you have been through it too, but you can't help her because you haven't helped yourself. In fact, it's getting harder and harder to hide your pain and fear.

~Angel~

Angel has been spending a lot of time sneaking off with eclipse to the spirit realm. She has been exploring a lot and has been aquatinted with her aunt hella in hel. Aunt hella gives her a sword and starts teaching her how to slay spirit eaters efficiently.

Angel found out that she can't make a portal straight from Midgard to asgard but she can go to the spirit realm and from the spirit realm she can get to any of the other realms, including Asgard.

~Loki POV~

Ever since Aka came back she has been different. She seemed fine at first but as time goes on she's getting more and more distant. She tosses and turns in her sleep and wakes up with screams but even then she won't talk to me about it.

She just brushed it off and acts like it was nothing even though I can clearly see it bothers her. I've also noticed her occasionally shying away from my touch.

It's so frustrating! Why won't she let me help her?

As I walk into the lounge with two cups of hot tea, I look at my love. While the others watch a movie and talk and joke around, she sits curled up at the end of the couch with a book. She huddles under the lamp getting just enough light to be able to read her book. I smile at the sight; she's adorable.

I've noticed her reading a lot more recently. Anytime she isn't busy with something she is either working her ass off in the training room or she has her nose in a book.

What's interesting is that she isn't even reading a lot of different books, she cycles through the same handful of books over and over.

I come over and hold one of the cups of tea out to her as I say one of our inside jokes.

"Careful, it's tea"

She smiles and takes it from me. She takes a sip.

"Thank you love, it's perfect"

"Yes, you are"

She smiles and looks away.

I sit on the couch next to her and just watch her, admiring her beauty and strength. Even with tangled hair, tired eyes, and pajama pants and a hoodie that are way too big on her, she is still perfect. She is still beautiful. She is still the love of my life. I just wish I could help her see herself the way I see her.

A/N: hey everyone! Sorry this took so long but it's here finally. I burned myself out before by pushing myself to post every day. Who knew posting a 1000+ word chapter every day for over a month could cause burn out!/s 😅😅

In other news guess what!

This story is now in the wattys! Do you guys think we have a chance?

Anyways thanks for reading y'all! See you soon!