In Omnia Paratus (AU) - Book 2

Around in circles.

People had changed their opinions of me now they knew I had a daughter. It was weird, like they were tip toeing around certain subjects and it was just uncomfortable for everyone.

This is why I never told any strangers that I had maisie. And I told Richard that but he just shrugged it off and said I should be open with my flatmates if I want to make friends. What a load of bull, I have friends.

"You know I don't think I was super prepared for uni." Lily sighed coming into my room without knocking or anything. I was in there with Richard about to start something but I just rolled away from him and stood up.

"Oh yeah?" I sighed.

"Lectures are long and boring and I hardly ever get to dance. I'm doing performing arts with English, you think it would be mainly arts but we're always doing bloody English." Lily said holding onto my chair and then suddenly I saw it.

"Oh my god you walked in here." I freaked out.

"I know!" She screeched and I just went up and hugged her tightly.

"How the hell did you do that?" I laughed.

"Without matts permissions." She giggled. "I can walk small distances." She smirked.

"Oh my god." I was just so happy for her and it made me feel so much better.

"Congrats Lil." Richard said still laying down on my bed and just playing on his phone while he waited for this to finish.

"I'm sorry I burst in here. I just really wanted to tell you." She smiled.

"Well I wanted to know, you could come in half way through sex with that news I would still be happy." I joked.

"But don't really." Richard smirked.

"Yeah I was afraid of that." Lily laughed. "Anyway, I'll leave you guys I'm going out with Matt now."

"Alright have fun." I laid back down in bed with room for Richard and we resumed where we had left off, when suddenly he stopped as I rolled onto my back. "You alright?"

He didn't respond. Instead he went to my stomach, pulled up my top and had a good stare. I froze. I tensed all my muscles and tried not breath too deeply.

"Richard-- its--"

"Can you stop this? I mean she's walking for gods sake." Richard suddenly said and I panicked.

He grabbed my arms and looked them up and down. They were clear, people would notice if I did it there.

"I'm sorry." I said weakly.

He just continued to stare at my stomach. Probably work out which scars were fresh and what would go away. "I never have a proper look when your naked, I just wanted to check now and look what I've bloody found."

"I've said it already Richard what's your problem? I'm sorry, I'll stop." I cried a little but out of anger.

"Okay, no, I'm sorry I shouldn't be angry. Don't cry. I did this before and it upset the both of us." He said hugging me gently. "But it's just because I'm scared for you. We can't keep going in circles you know."

"I know." I sniffed into his shoulder.

"Do you need me to book another appointment for you?" He asked.

"No, I don't need another Doctor on my case. I'll do it by myself." I sighed.

"We'll do it together yeah?" Richard smiled before pecking my lips. "Yeah?" He repeated as I just got out of bed and started to get ready.

"Yeah." I smiled.

- - - - -

"What are you doing?" I scoffed as I saw the two girls and Lily chatting and eating at the table in dorm.

"Sorry?" Lily smiles innocently over at me.

"We had dinner plans for 7, you're eating now? At 5?" I moaned going and getting some water as I was doing some work on a presentation in my room and just needed to grab a snack.

"Oh I totally forgot can we do tomorrow instead?" She asked.

"I can't." I started harshly.

"Why not? It's Wednesday." She laughed and then looked at the other two girls confused. We knew each other's timetables well.

"I can't ok."

"Hold on, can I speak to you outside?" Lily snapped standing up and I was surprised she could do that but I noticed that Grace had helped her.

"You sure?" I said as she walked, yes she actually managed to walk about three steps to the door and then lean against the frame to talk to me in the hallway.

"What's your problem?" She snapped.

"There's no problem. It just bothers me that we made plans to eat together tonight and you start eating with them!" I moaned and I heard the front door open but we couldn't move because Lily was struggling to stand up now anyway let alone move room.

"What so you're jealous?" Lily shrugged.

"God no." I scoffed.

"It's weird because you never were back in Ashford so what's changed?" She ignored my last comment. "I shut you out of the whole group once and you didn't budge then. Why the jealousy now?"

"I'm not jealous--" I started but I felt a hand land on my shoulder and I flipped and thinking it was Richard I shrugged him off and started to yell. "Fucking leave me alone!" I yelled.

"Woah calm down. I was just gunna suggest you guys go and sit down somewhere but clearly not... let's get you out of here Lil." Matt said taking hold of her and helping her back into the common room to eat with them.

"Matt--"

"Well that was quite a scene." Richard said appearing. I knew he was here, I just wish he was the one who had touched my shoulder.

"I don't need your input. Had enough of that." I moaned going into my room and closing the door.

"Oh god this isn't about what we spoke about yesterday is it?" He followed opening the door straightaway.

"No!"

"Then why the bad mood? Last time you were like this you- - you were depressed...god why didn't I see that coming?" He rolled his eyes.

"What?" I yelled.

"When you had maisie and then lost her you got depressed. But you also got really mad all the time. You'd shouted at me, Lily, Matt everyone... you broke up with me even." Richard nodded. "Now it's happening again. Full frickin circle!"