In Omnia Paratus (AU) - Book 2

Sides

But turns out nobody had gone to bed. I went my room but straight away knew I wouldn't be able to sleep. So I reluctantly left the room and went to make some tea hoping I'd chill out a little and maybe watch some TV to help me sleep.

Though, when I got downstairs I saw Lily and as I turned the corner, Matt and then Molly, and then Tom but also Lucy. I felt sick to my stomach straight away.

"Oh..." I mumbled as they all looked me. "Uh don't mind me." I said stupidly walking over to get a glass and then to the tap. Oh this awkward.

"Jen--" Lily said quickly as I was leaving the room with water instead of tea.

"I'm gone. Don't worry." I faked a smile as I went back to the stairs. I got to the top until I realised she'd followed me up the stairs.

"We weren't talking about you. I know that looked bad." Lily apologised. "We just all couldn't sleep." She said quite sincerely.

"I know." I smiled at her gently. Then I walked into my room and settled on the bed sipping the water and feeling so guilty I wanted to die. I knew Richard was downstairs asleep on the sofa and Matt was probably in with Tom bitching about me again.

Lily and Lucy and everyone else were including Molly were probably gossiping and hating on me. I felt so bad.

Worse than I did when I found out I was pregnant. God i really felt awful. I didn't know what to do. I wished we had just argued there and then. I guess Matt hit me so that got his feelings across. Then I'd be able to sleep and be angry about it.

But now everyone was stewing coming up with their arguments. The drunk were sobering up and I...had no excuse. I felt sick.

Molly hated me. Richard probably hated me. Matt definitely hated me. Lily and everyone else probably thought I was a bitch. So overall, no one was on my side.

- - - - -

"Morning." Lily came walking into my room and straight away I pulled sheets up over me and turned away from her, I was mess. I'd woken up about an hour ago and started mulling over everything. Then I started crying.

"Could you give me a sec?" I said trying not let my voice break.

"Yeah, sure." Lily said stepping outside the room. I squeezed my eyes shut and banished the tears then wiped under my eyes and called her back in after I'd sat up in bed crossed legged.

"Sorry I just wasn't feeling all that great." I smiled as she walked in.

"I'm not taking sides." She spat out.

"What?" I blurted out.

"I'm not taking sides. I'm never against you." Lily smiled at me squeezed my hand quickly before letting go and sitting opposite me crossed legged also.

"Thank you." I whispered.

- - - - -

The inevitable was happening. I came down stairs to see Richard and Matt no where near each other. They both looked like they had severe hang overs and well, so did everybody else but me.

I shut my eyes before opening them again quickly and standing near the table before sitting down on the sofa.

"Alright, this has gone on long enough." Molly shouted as I sat next to her. "This was a holiday and you're all ruining it. So just, have it out."

And within that second they were both standing up, Matt and Richard and they were shouting at each other. Matt being harsh and blaming him of sleeping with me and Richard screaming his defence.

"Stop it." Molly shouted. "Now Matt, you go..."

"You slept with my girlfriend, you went behind my back after I thought we were friends and you weren't interested in Jen anymore and now you're sleeping with her?" Matt shouted.

"Nice point, Richard?" Molly continued.

"I didn't sleep with her. We kissed, yes. But we were drunk, I promise if we were in any sane mind that wouldn't have happened." Richard screamed back.

"Of course you slept with her!" Matt yelled.

"Ask her! We didn't."

They looked over me, I was shyly sat on the sofa pushing myself further and furthers into the cushions hoping I'd blend in and not be seen. Though that wasn't working so I stood up.

"We did not sleep together." I defended quietly.

"Why are you being so quite you're usually up for a battle?" Richard shouted.

"Look I can't justify anything here. I spent all night thinking about it. I was a bad girlfriend. I was stupid, we all know I'm the one to blame here." I said then looked not only at these guys but at the rest of them who were at the dining table and listening in.

"We all know I'm in the wrong. Don't we? So you two stop fighting, Matt you and I can fight and Molly can take a quick stab at shouting at me if she wants." I shrugged.

"Jen it's not all your fault you had drunk quite a bit too." Lily stuck up for me.

"She also had drunk coffee and sobered up." Molly pointed out.

"Oh hey ok, I agree. Totally sober when this happened." I nodded fairly.

"I don't believe it was you that initiated the make out session." Matt said looking me in the eye for the first time today.

"It wasn't." Richard suddenly defended. "She had no choice I was on top of her, I initiated it."

"Well then it is your fault." Matt pointed out.

''No, you don't get it! He kissed me, I continued it. I should of pushed him off told him to get away. But I didn't. I kissed back." I shrugged.

"Stop." Matt snapped.

"It's true. I know you see me as this perfect person, but I'm not. I made a mistake and I'm sorry but I get it, I totally get if you hate me." I was almost begging him.

"Just stop it!" He yelled.

"Listen to your girlfriend mate." Richard muttered.

"I can't." Matt mumbled. "She's not my girlfriend anymore."

"What?"

"You know, I tried to ignore this. I really did, but I don't know what the hell I was thinking." Matt yelled.

"What are you talking about?" I asked feeling ill already.

"You don't wanna be with me." He said as if he was really hurt.

"Yes, I do." I scoffed.

"Oh, please! You've been into him forever, and I have spent weeks – months, actually – trying to convince myself that it wasn't true, that everything was fine between us. But now I know that I was an idiot. You're into him and he's into you, not Molly, who by the way, should be listening to this 'cause it's so damn obvious." He was screaming at us and I hated it.

"What's obvious? What did I do?" I tried not to cry.

"Everyone can see, Jen! Everyone. And I'm tired, but I'm over it, so go ahead, go. Be together. There's nothing standing in your way now, 'cause I'm out." He grumbled angrily and turned away pushing through the group that had gathered at the door to hear the argument.

"Matt!" I yelled.

"Jen--" Lily walked in the room and hugged me quickly. She knew I'd cry, she knew I had cried this morning so she expected it again.