In Omnia Paratus (AU) - Book 2

Lonely

The worst thing about the new place was being alone. I knew I wanted to be by myself, I didn't want anyone bothering me, but the fact that I knew, no one would be coming round this afternoon, or waking up in the morning with me.

I always had the idea of Lily coming in late at night, or being just in the other room. Even if I was alone, someone was always coming.

Now it was weird. I was truly alone. I wondered around my new dorm like an idiot, tidying anything out of place, unpacking all my books onto a bigger bookcase. Investigating the guest bedroom. I tried everything to keep me entertained when I wasn't at school.

I watched tv, I studied, I went online. Nothing could stop my boredom. I was going insane on my own here.

Did they do this on purpose? Put me alone, so I ask to see someone. Instead of all these people asking to see me? Maybe that was their plan all along.

Or they just wanted to keep me away from Lily. Either way sounds sad.

I had classes of course, my one time of the day that I could leave the dorm and sit at the back of the class and make my own notes. I just listened to my teachers.

Lily and I share one class usually and she wasn't in it. It worried me a little. She would of been the only one to actually try and talk to me in the middle of class. Everyone else ignores me.

- - - - -

"Jen." The knock came for about the 4th time. "Come on."

I was sat on the sofa, debating to open the door in my head. I didn't know what I would even say to him.

"Jenna." Richard yelled, and at that point I got up and opened the door to him. "I was worried then." He sighed as I opened the door and glanced at him up and down.

"Hey." I managed a small smile.

"How are you? How's the new place?" He asked rushing past me and taking it all in.

"It's...lovely." I nodded slowly. "A bit lonely." I said reluctantly, I didn't want to admit it but it was true.

"Looks nice." He smiled. "What's lonely? I'm here now." Richard questioned.

"I miss having a room mate. This past week has been shit." I sighed slumping down onto the sofa.

"Jen I know, but uh it's for your own good." He winked. "Come here." Richard said finally opening his arms and it was the simplest thing but it got to me. I choked on tears as he wrapped his arms around me. I laid on his chest and sobbed into his shirt.

Crying for hours about how shit life is. He'd tell me it's all okay and stroke my chair and that all I needed right now. He was perfect.

I missed holding someone, hugging them and telling them that I loved them.

"I love you too." He'd reply before we kissed, for the first time since the argument. I felt bad and sad about kissing him but it was so comforting and warm, I just leant into it more.

- - - - -

"Hi can I borrow..." I heard Kate muttering to my teacher as I sat bored stiff at the back of my English class. It was awful now I had no one to speak to and make comments with.

I knew it would be my name. I know Kate sees other people but I just knew it was about me.

"Jenna can--" before she even said another word I was up with my bag on my shoulder and near the door with Kate.

"I just wanted to see how you're feeling about your new place and your classes." Kate nodded as we walked towards her office.

"Checking I actually go to lesson yeah?" I scoffed.

"Eh kinda." She chuckled.

"Well I go to lesson. I don't have fun anymore, but I go." I sighed looking around her office as I sat down on one of the sofa chairs.

"I know, Hun and things are hard at moment I know, but is there anything that I can help you with?" Kate asked worryingly.

"There's one thing."

"Yep?"

"I want to see Lily. Where is she? She's not in my class, I never see her out and about..." I trailed off and the more I said, the stupider I sounded in my head and realised I was being so naive.

"Well, Jen--"

"She's gone isn't she?" The sudden realisation dawned upon me.

"Oh god, I'm sorry." Kate leaned forward as the face went pale and I felt like throwing up in her bin. "We're not allowed Matt to look after her and she can't handle being on her own at the moment. Ina few weeks she'll be back and fine."

"Where is she?"

"She moved back home temporarily and comes in for her exams." Kate explained nodding her head gently.

"She hates her parents."

"Unfortunately she has to do this." She shrugged.

"No! She doesn't. I could just live with her and we could all be absolutely fine... but no you have these stupid rules which mean sending students that you promised you'd accommodate for but not you couldn't give two shits." I yelled at Kate.

"Hey, hey" she defended. "I did not do this, I am not to blame. Go talk to the headmaster and you might be able to yell at him but I'm your therapist Jen and I want the best for you. I'd love to put you in with Lily but-- doctors orders!"