dear choi hyunsuk~ (2021)

june 23rd, 2021

6.23.21

hi hyunsuk!!!

today, i come bearing good news! there's something that i'm very excited about and i've been excited to tell you about it all day- you know how you guys lightstick restocked last night? well~!!!! good news- i managed to get you guys' lightstick!!!! oh my gosh hyunsuk, i was so nervous! it restocked around 2pm for you guys, i think? that was 1am for me, i had just finished studying too~ so i was kind of tired but i was totally ready, i had the app open like a whole 10 minutes before the restock even happened but i was ready !!!! my hands were shaking by the time it actually happened, and i almost messed up a few times- but by the time i saw my order went through i just cried because i was so jazzed up on emotions and excited that i could actually get it, you guys' lightstick is such a big deal you know? to be able to support you guys, that means a lot! i promised that i'd always put forth my best foot forward when it comes to supporting you, and i'd never go back on my word 'cause you mean a lot to me- more than anyone else, and i know it'll always be like that, too! but as much as i did it to support you guys, i also bought it just because i genuinely love how it looks! it's such a pretty design, and i just think it came out very well, so it made me want it that much more. plus i know all the little features on it sound really cool, so i can't wait to get mine!

i just think that was the best thing that could have happened for my mental health to be honest lol, i dunno- just having you there in my heart is always enough to make me happy, but i guess having physical merchandise is another close and personal reminder that i have my own guardian angel looking out for me in some way or another :') it might be silly, but that's how i think of you, you know?~ you were the one who saved me back then, and continue to save me now 'cause i still go through things that are considerably unpleasant- but lightsticks are easier to carry around compared to an album, or something! maybe i can just take the lightstick with me wherever i go, 'cause i tend to do that with your photo card, you know~~ just having you around is what makes me happiest! so i was also very happy when i woke up this morning, i saw there was a video and it had you guys playing around with your lightsticks and all- gosh, it's genuinely just so pretty. both the lightstick itself, but also the way you looked so happy with it- i couldn't tell what was shining brighter, the lightstick or the smile and shine in your eyes as you were looking at it :D knowing you, and how i remember that on-tact concert meant a lot to you, even tho it was just digital, i know that you must have been imagining a real life concert with a bunch of teumes waving the lightstick around, right?~

you probably could have just been enjoying your lightstick and enjoying the moment, i know you like to appreciate the moments as they happen, so it's plausible right? either way, it's very sweet! you're just a sweet boy, always happy and smiling, so it made me happy to see a video with you guys and with the lightstick i just purchased :') with the timing of the video right after i bought it, it just makes me that much more excited for whenever i get my lightstick in the mail :p but i guess that's the point, huh? hehe it's smart! good marketing ~ but i'm just really happy, it's the mood boost i needed and it makes me want to work harder u know~ idk how to explain it, just seeing you makes me want to do my best! you're the most ideal role model i could ever ask for- one of my favourite things is just still telling people about how great i think you are huhu, plus the impact you've had on my life , all of it is really special and i just want the world to know what a great person is in it, that's you~ that's you alright, can't think of anyone cooler than you, you're the best! you're the best and i love you, my favourite boy <3 sorry if i'm rambling, though! i must sound really weird, i'm just not so good with my words. then again, you might be used to that tho~ i'm sort of a mess , but i'm a mess with good intentions~

i must be annoying though, as well~ i wanna keep your feelings in consideration, so i'm sorry if i'm bothering you !!!!! i must just sound really weird, even my friends get annoyed by my energy sometimes- so i'll stop the letter here, but i just want you to know that i appreciate you a lot like always! i'm super happy i was able to get the lightstick and support you, and i'm also really happy that you're doing well, you honestly look like you're glowing so i'm just happy thinking about you in good spirits- please take care of your health too so that you don't get sick again, okay? at least not for awhile, do your best to stay healthy~ i know you're busy, but that's just as important! it's hard to keep occupied when you're feeling under the weather. ^^ so eat well and get your nutrients, and rest well and recharge; all when you have time, of course! i'll be cheering you on, like i always have and always will. you have my whole heart, so just know i have your back too!!! take care and have a nice day, i'll see ya tomorrow~ til then, bye bye!!

i love you <3