dear choi hyunsuk~ (2021)

jan 30th, 2021

1.30.21

hi hyunsuk!!!

i'm just excited to write you today?? i'm feeling a lot of feelings- i was tempted to start this letter way early in the day, but i actually chose to stop myself :D it might sound weird, but i just wanted to make sure i collected my thoughts so i could write them as well as possible!! i just wanna say that last night i think i was losing my mind at how great you guys' performance was, like it always is but i think something about last night was so extra amazing !! plus not to mention, you had that cute little pink beanie and you just looked extra fluffy last night?? i think i just really lost my mind at how extra cute you were- but that performance was so much fun like always! you did amazing, so i just want you to know that~ hehehe you always put a smile on my face, and you never fail to make me feel inspired <3!!! speaking of inspired- the full version of beautiful got released!!! omg,, the moment i really had been waiting for, for so long!!! finally my ears were blessed with the sound of your voice- and i knew i'd like it, but goddd i was blown away!!! like??? you did so well, you sound so amazing at japanese it really made me frozen LGHSL LIKE I KNOW YOU HAD THE MEMBERS TO HELP BUT STILL?? even with my friends help i can barely speak korean- but it doesn't surprise me that you'd do amazing, but it just made me want to cry~ i'm so proud of you, you really are so amazing at everything!!

i've listened to it a lot of times today just because i thought you did so well, i wanted to hear it a bunch of times- so i did heheh, your voice is always something i adore, but today it was just extra amazing and made me really happy !! once again, you did so well!! i just like telling you that you did well, because you always do~~ <3 it makes me so happy that i can be here for these moments and do my best to support you for all of it, so i don't miss a thing~ time is generally a very precious thing, but especially so when it's with you. every moment is always something special, and i'm so happy to be your fan for each second of the day as time goes by~ i like to use a good amount of my time every day giving you all the support i can, because you always do the same when it comes to showing your affection to teumes and it's one of those things that just really makes my heart feel the most warm and fuzzy— i even made a whole video today, just talking about you :DD i didn't want to weird you out in a letter since my thoughts weren't entirely coherent, so i just made a video to express those thoughts- but the same thoughts are still on my mind~~ sometimes it's hard to express what i'm feeling, especially when there's so much plentiful amounts of love within this heart for you~~

really everything about you is my most favourite thing ;( for so long now, you've been my whole lifeline and i couldn't imagine existing without you powering me with so much love and inspiration; you help so many people's lives and i hope you know that, you're really special!! it just makes me feel really warm knowing you're out there, living your dreams and giving so much hope to a lot of people around the world~ we love seeing you happy and doing all of the things you enjoy, and we're always so happy when you show us all of your talents because it's such a large amount :D <3 you're always the highlight of my day- but i think that man,, this day you're really shining a lot more than normal!! you're really inspiring me to go and study my korean harder than normal- if you can rap in japanese that well, the least i can do is study !!! it's rly fitting that the song is called beautiful and the lyrics talking about how the world is beautiful- and i agree, but i think i only started seeing it that way after i found you. i feel like the world became beautiful once you entered it, because all of the beautiful things included you in them ~ the twinkle in the stars or the warmth from the sun or any eye catching thing from the world, it all reminded me of you in some sense. but something else that's beautiful is the feelings that come from your heart- feeling emotions to their full extent is also really beautiful, and i feel like my heart awoke to a lot of new ones and you added a lot of depths to old feelings too~~

i grew to love waking up every day, because my brain quickly made that connection- that you'd be there when i did. the content of you is always there- something i could always rely on, so i felt comforted because in some sense, you're always around. that warm smile of yours, your amazing and rare talents, your sweet and warm personality, seeing all of that every day really made the world become beautiful because i had a lot to look forward to and a lot to be happy for. i hope you're just as happy as i am, or more- because you deserve it!! i always pray for your happiness every day, so you can always have that dazzling smile of yours that lights up the whole world :3 you're just amazing in every sense, and i always want you to feel well :( but hey, i know it's normal to have days where you're sad, or lacking energy. 'cos i have days like that too- but since youre always the thing that helps me get through them, that's why i feel so grateful all the time :D i know the other members are so important to you, and teumes as well, so i hope you rely on the people important to you when you need them :D we're always here for you!! —i'm sorry for getting distracted though, i just wanted to say it's normal when you're upset too, but just know that everyone arounds you adores you so much, and we always have your back.

no matter what happens, i'll always be here to support you!! i know my support isn't worth much, but if it's any reassuring to you, i promise it'll always be here, so long as i am alive, since this life i'm living all has meaning because of you~ i support you always, i just want to emphasize that because if i heard that from someone else it'd make me feel better, so i want to tell you that hoping you'd feel the same!! you're a really amazing guy, honestly the best i've ever known, and spending so many days being your fan has been the biggest blessing and honour of my life~! i'm so happy to be here, era to era.!!! for each moment, the little ones to the big ones- but they're all important to me, so long as you guys are included !! esp you hehe~ all of the eras have felt so special, but my treasure just feels really different from the others and it feels rly healing,, which i know is the purpose of the song and all, but this is the most connected i've felt to you thus far, and even before this i already felt really close to you. so that says a lot! it just feels really monumental, and i hope i've expressed my gratitude well~ i want you to know how thankful i am, as well as how much i love you~~ you're truly the best part of my days , and i know you always will be :D

i guess that's all for today- but i just hope you take care of yourself well ! i could be wrong, but i'm pretty sure you have inkigayo today~ i'll try to be up for it like last night, so i'm sending you all my good energy for a performance that i know will be amazing! eat when you can, and rest when you're able to okay? replenish your body well, relax when you're able because you deserve it!! you're the pillar to so many people's lives because you're truly the most amazing guy in every sense, so you should take care of yourself like you do everyone else!! just don't forget how amazing you are, and have an amazing day!!

i love you love you !!!!