dear choi hyunsuk~ (2021)

feb 4th, 2021

2.4.21

hi hyunsukkie~!!

it's the day!! it's the day!! it's treasure map day~!! i'm so excited- heheh it hasn't even been that long, only a week- like normal. but still and yet, my excitement can't be contained :DD this is honestly and truly my favourite day of the week~!! there's nothing that can quite compare to this excitement that builds up every day until it finally reaches the peak of the episode- but ahhh, there was more that happened today~ so i should talk about it, right? since i really enjoyed it!! ^^ it was mcountdown today- i think you said in the tweet you did this morning that it was you guys' last stage T.T for mcountdown at least~ gosh thats so sad, because it probably means that in general, the era is slowly coming to a wrap >_< but i won't get sad, because i'm still enjoying the moments as they come along~ the performance was honestly one of the cutest ones, and there's been so many endless cute ones so that says a lot !!! also besides the performance, there was a fansign and i even saw the selfies you posted heheh gosh~ i feel like i'm repetitive but lately, for this era, you look like a puppy, just so precious and cute T.T your hair looks really fluffy, so that might be why i'm thinking this way but !! i just love it so much,, your look from today was definitely one of my favourites- today just had so much good quality stuff, i always feel so happy when i get to see you a ton!!

those fansign clips are more healing than you could ever know-i don't know what it is, because every single time i see those clips anyway, it just fuels my heart with so much happiness and it really motivates me when times are hard !!! last night was harder than i expected it was going to be honestly, when i first started to feel my mood decline i was like :// it was one of those nights i felt like i didn't deserve to rely on you to help me feel better ? so i'm ngl, i distanced myself but of course i rly regretted it. i just felt guilty because you guys poured a lot of effort into the seasons greetings to make it pleasant and i couldn't even afford it,,, it made me feel bad plus other things,, but i tried to vent in a writing format. you were the one who said that when you're having a hard time you shouldn't pretend like you're fine, right? i have the habit of brushing off my feelings, so i just let it burst out writing last night,, it's not rly a diary format but i have a spam account? it just for some reason feels easier to vent if it's in a tweet/ig format— i dunno, i don't mean to be selfish by bringing this up either btw but i think because last night was so bad for a lot of reasons, waking up to the new performance and a tweet from you, plus the fansign clips are always so reassuring :( like i just always feel comforted when i see you talking to teumes, i hope that's not weird? that's just how i feel hehe <3 the glow in your eyes really makes me feel safe and like things will be okay if you're there

and as weird as it sounds, it's true ! you're the only consistent thing in my life, i feel alone a lot- but you're always there, it's like a safety blanket that makes me feel warm and secure ~no matter how lonely i get, it makes me feel a lot better to have you there!! focusing on your smile, your warmth, all of your talents- putting my energy into that makes me feel a lot better so i just want to say thank you!! a lot of the times when i'm sad i'll just use the energy into editing so i can take something bad and make it into a positive that might help you in some way !! it's rly important to me that i try to do my best in some way, it's a butterfly effect ! i hope~ i really do believe in that!! i always hope that something small that i do can ripple into a chain of events that ultimately ends up with something positive for you~ my biggest thing i try to do is help people become treasure makers!! even if it's just a few people, *those* people can do the same thing with their friends, and then their friends do it, and it keeps going forth~ before you know it, that's a ton of new people standing treasure !! i just always want to do my best for you, ya know?? thinking about how hard you work motivates me~

you know i was thinking about this while i was streaming a game earlier- when i get into missions that are sort of boring to me, my mind shifts to you a little more. since today was seemingly your last mcountdown stage, which might also signal the finishing up of performances in other places.. i always wonder how you feel at the end of an era? do you get sad, or proud of the work you did ? i hope you feel proud!! i don't wanna tell you how to feel, but also at the same time, i think you should always be proud of yourself because you constantly and consistently do amazing things and put out amazing content, and do so many things on top of stage performances, and i bet you guys still practice every day at the yg building right ? and i'm sure there's days you still want to work on music at home too,, i mean maybe not? i don't know~ but you work really hard in a lot of aspects and i know you love music, so it's only natural you'd work on it a lot~ like when i'm in my art groove, i draw a crap ton !! even if i did a bunch of other stuff within the day, i still make time to draw~ so i presumed you're like that as well, but i'm sorry if that's rude !! i guess it's natural if you'd be sad too, but i hope you know that treasure makers are always sending you constant love and we're always close to you, spiritually! alright~? don't forget that!! i use the same mentality- even if i think about when there's inevitably going to be the time where there's a long space inbetween albums, you're close to my heart so in that sense i'm never apart from you. i'll always wait as long as i have to~