dear choi hyunsuk~ (2021)

jan 7th, 2021

1.7.21

hi hyunsuk!!

i wonder what you've been up to, today~? i'm still really happy about those pictures you posted last night!! when you post pictures it always feels like they have such a long lasting happy and positive effect on my heart and i'm really thankful for it every single time~<333 when i have a hard time with anything throughout the day i just try to think about how you'd do in the same situation and it just pushes me to do better~! i want to be great like you, and i guess when you post more often i feel more energized >.< but you guys' comeback is closer and closer every single day!! i just came to the realization earlier today that it's gonna be monday!!! for me anyways, i dunno what day it'll be for you guys- tuesday maybe?? little details aside, i'm just so excited- it's to the point where it's starting to occupy all of my thoughts!!! i'm starting to wonder if there's gonna be mv teasers now since everyone's individual pics are out now i think?? they're all so pretty i definitely want to start those drawings today btw!!! but yeah, you guys comeback is the most prominent thing and it's inspiring me to do better and go out of my own comfort zone, in new ways and the usual as well~ like always, you're the best role model in my whole life and i'm really thankful for it <3

but other than that- not much happened today T_T you know i play superstar yg a lot tho?? you seemed really good at it- so i wanna play more to be like you~ :p but ahhh i got a new highscore on bling like this, today!! the event is over so i can play the song with my normal cards now- which all of my cards are R now!!! i was collecting for the i love you set, pretty much since the game got installed onto my phone in the beginning- i've been working really hard to get the cards of all 12 of you a really high rank and i was really happy 'cause recently i was able to :33 hopefully soon i can keep working them up- cause i know i can upgrade R cards up to 99 ^^ but anyway, since i could play blt with my fancy cards i was able to get a new highscore~ it's probably so random to mention this but i play superstar yg all the time, i love it so much and it's actually a game i play that involves you in some way- but you know, i can think of other games that include you, now that i think of it~!! it's not direct like superstar yg or anything, but maybe the next time i play stardew valley i can get a new animal to name after you!!! altho i think i named my farm after treasure, in general- oh well, sorry about this! i know it's random, but i,, just really love gaming- and obviously, i really love you!!! those are my two most favourite things in the entire world <33

you really make life so nice~ i know every day i seem to talk about the same things- but even the things that don't relate to you, become better because you put me into a good mood to begin with~ so i can go about my day with a lighter heart and a lot of love in it, all because i was thinking about you and how much better you make everything :< you're so inspiring~ it's so great how you can do it so effortlessly too~! like no offense to other people , but sometimes when they try to be motivational it can seem forced- which isn't a bad thing, either, but you just naturally help people and it's just much nicer for me anyways :33 i love seeing you happy, you know that's my favourite thing- i say it all the time T.T i just love comeback time because no matter what you're doing, those beautiful eyes of yours shine so brightly ^^ on stage you move so well and execute your moves perfectly while maintaining a perfect stable voice- and on top of all of that, you truly look like you're enjoying yourself and that makes it even more fun to watch!! or when you have fansigns and talk to treasure makers, it just makes me so happy because you can really tell how much you care about the fandom and that makes me feel even happier to be in the fandom- not just as a teume, but one who loves you with her whole heart T.T i'm so lucky that my 수호천사 was someone as sweet as you- thank you for always sharing your brightness <33

idk if it's something i mentioned or not- but you know, i really like interviews too- some people might think they're boring, but i like watching your 'leader' side too! i mean, no matter what you do, i'll be happy to both watch and support- but it's kind of interesting to see a personality shift, but you're still~ /you/ hehe it's just that you'll handle the more complex questions but hand off other ones to the others and you're just rly thoughtful :( i don't really know if that makes sense- i'm not sure how to put it into exact words, but there's a cool side of you that comes out when you guys do interviews and it's just fun to watch- i know it's a leader thing 'cause i notice it with jihoon too :o i wonder what it's like to be a leader- i mean, i know it's got to be harder that's why i respect u both a lot extra!! i mean i respect u all, but u know what i mean- i just wonder exactly what it's like :3 either way, you guys both handle it really well!!! i always imagined you as  a leader tbh- i knew you'd suit it very well! which reminds me, it's kind of unrelated but i redownloaded discord- and i found messages from 2019 of me talking about you :( and it's just cool to see- ever since you entered my life you've been a constant topic i like to mention to my friends, but it's so cool as well seeing how long it's been already!! 2019 seems like so long ago now :<  i talked about missing you a lot back then gkjshgjks

i meant when i said it though- i know you'll always be apart of my life, and you will most definitely be someone that i love forever- so it doesn't shock me to see that i still feel the same as i did back then, but it's just more so cool to see. i can't entirely explain why- but it's just cool! kind of like a time capsule, if that makes sense? but ahhh maybe one day i'll just go back over all the letters i've written- every single one, over the past few years of writing. it's a lot, now! i think technically since i started in the very beginning of 2019, this year is my third writing!! which is crazy- but if you do the math it makes sense, since it's 2021? but ah, i'll stop rambling!! i hope you're having a good day ^^ please take care alright? stay warm and happy, remember that i love you with my whole heart and all i want is the best for you!! do whatever it takes to make yourself feel both healthy physically and mentally~ seeing you is the best medicine for me so you always help me, i just want you to feel the same. T_ T please have a nice day-

i love you <3