dear choi hyunsuk~ (2021)

jan 10th, 2021

1.10.21

hi hyunsukkie!!

i'm starting this late- after midnight from last nights letter, but wait i didn't realize the golden disc awards was today til i got on twt :( i'm so absent minded i'm really sorry!!!! but i know you guys will do amazing ~~ i can't wait to see the special performance u prepared!! thank you for always working so hard~ you're one of the most amazing people in this whole world and i'm constantly amazed by you!!! 💜 i'm sending u all the best energy for your performance- i hope all goes well! // another award omgg :(( you guys always outdo yourselves!!! just like every single time you perform you manage to get better and better and it's so magical to see- i can't even describe the feeling but it makes me happy to be your fan and i'm so grateful to see you grow continuously as an artist and as a person;~; like- during the, what was it,, interview right?? u were helping jeongwoo with what to say or being cute with jaehyuk and goofing with mashiho in the back- i just love seeing you go into leader mode as well as just you being yourself ::D these performances rly are so amazing!!! i rly enjoy that chill version of i love you, and that version of boy?? oh my gosh it just hits different!! it was such a new vibe and amazing and i love it-

but the thing that got me crying? going crazy T.T i think just seeing you guys perform it again hit some kind of emotional strings on me and i think it did for you guys too- more so, obviously !! like the look on your face just is what made me cry, you guys have come so far :;( from performing it on a show where the future held so much uncertainty to going onto an ~award show~ and performing the very same song right after you got that new award!! it's become full circle, and you guys have all accomplished so much since then and will continue to keep doing so >_< man,, just so much is different but it's been a pleasure being on this journey with you- i promise to stick with you til the end ╰(*'︶'*)╯♡ i can't imagine the nostalgia everyone's gonna have with going crazy in another couple of years- even by then, boy and ily and all the early songs we're in the era for now might feel nostalgic- but being your fan is all i could ever want from this life, and i'll always do my best to support you!! i just feel like some kind of way today, like those performances just casted a spell over me :3 to say that i'm proud is an understatement, i can't even begin to express how proud i feel of you for always doing your best!!

when you said special performance, you really didn't lie T.T you guys put your all into it and it's so easy to see, teumes all really appreciate your work and we hope that you know you all did amazingly!!! i just really hope you're getting some good rest, it must be exhausting after award shows like that!!! at least that's what i think- i could be wrong, but i just want you to feel as rested as possible!!! i imagine being social for so long like behind the scenes, then for interviews and what not- then to go perform and do so amazingly must take up a lot of energy >_< oh that reminds me tho, it was so nice seeing u do the dance break in boy again!!! i liked it with jihoon but with you it's so perfect- i can't even explain it >.< the transition from boy to going crazy just still gives me goosebumps ofmsksjq

// okay hi again!!! i'm writing later in the day now- it was about 10am when i started that letter but you know that the performance was all i could think about for all day? it's just really amazing!!! you guys did so well- but i tried to rack my brain, and i think my favourite part was probably just the part where you guys performed going crazy again- there was so much emotional significance just seeing it again, thinking about how much you've grown since ygtb :(( i know i said the same things this morning but i just had more time to think about it- that's all i could think about, really. not just ygtb, but the uncertainty through 2019- not that anything was going to happen, but it probably felt really eternal waiting for the time you'd actually get to debut~ i have no idea what it was actually like of course, but just going off of what it feels like to wait starting wrestling school- i imagine the wait was really torturous >:( you dont deserve that- but ahhh, it just must have been really nice to perform that again on such an important occasion; on a song with so much history, and one that gets to live on forever in you guys album that drops so soon!!!

that's another thing i'm really excited about- there's not that much time left, so i'm just eagerly anticipating for the time i get to go to bed and to see you in the morning ^^ i'll be sure to write throughout the live like always, just because throughout the entire moments through it you make me feel so happy and i just want to be sure to thank you thoroughly and describe all of the happy emotions you give me; because it's such a plentiful amount!! :D but ahhh, speaking of emotions- i do feel bad, because i don't think i'm gonna be able to stay awake for the press conference :( i just really need the sleep,, i'm afraid of getting sick like the last time.. i hope it doesn't make me a bad fan- i promise i'll rewatch it :( it's just, it starts right around when i go to bed- but i don't wanna down the energy of the letter, bc i am excited~!! it's just one thing of the experience i feel bad that i'm missing,, but i'll try my best to be there in situations that allow me! i hear that today junghwan is graduating ?? i'm so proud of him,,, i bet you feel really proud too ~~ it must make the day extra special!! i just hope you guys soak up all the emotions !!! but btw i just decided- i think i'm going to watch the press conference,, i'll just stay up- sorry i must sound really bipolar!!! i just wanna support you the best i can :DD <3 i'm always here for you!!! i'm just really indecisive when it comes to making choices- i'm sorry o:

but ahh- i think i'll continue the letter later~!! <33 i think i want to include stuff from the press conference in the letter with the comeback live- to document the whole day! 'cause every day with you is special, but especially the ones like this~ i don't wanna forget a single moment <33 i want to be able to relive it in the best way i can- i'm just so happy to be able to support you :D i hope you're not too nervous!! just know you'll do amazing, and we're all proud of you no matter what!!! i'll write you again soon-
i love you <3