dear choi hyunsuk~ (2021)

feb 9th, 2021

2.9.21

hey hyunsuk~!!

i hope you're doing well on this fine day~ hopefully doing some things to relax and wind down, i think you deserve that more than anything else in the world and it just makes me happy to think about you getting lots of rest :D <33 i'm rly hoping that since you guys finished promoting, you're just getting to do a lot of stuff you've been wanting to do~~ <3 this letter just started and i'm already being insanely loud it seems like, but i'm just happy thinking about you getting some quality time to yourself, or with your members or however you choose to spend the time, i'm glad thinking that you very likely have the opportunity to do so~ it's very important to get that chance, but if you're still busy doing something that's okay too~ i mean, i know you're quite the busy body and i can be too, at times- so i totally get it! sometimes, i know i should be resting, but if i'm not doing anything, i feel quite restless and don't know what to do if i can't do the thing i want,, i just hope that you get to spend your days how you like,, life is short so i think it's important to be able to do the things that you want to do :( but you know the things i love doing the most?

there's a lot of things i enjoy in life- gaming, wrestling, being active- stuff like that, but the thing that probably brings me the most fulfillment and joy is just all of the things that have to do, with you~~ editing videos of you guys makes me feel fulfilled since it's one of my only ways that i feel like i can do something that'll maybe prove to be beneficial to you guys, in some way~ and even if it doesn't help you get new fans, it might help people get a deeper love that they already have <3 and another thing i love is art, just because when my words will fail me, i can spend hours into creating something that'll convey my feelings- sure, in the end it may simply appear as just a portrait of you, but within every little line and all of those brush strokes, they all came together with love fueling it and the inspiration of doing something positive for you !!! i'm always motivated by just being able to do things that i think you might enjoy, sometimes i'm not able to do as well as i'd like, but every day i always put in my best effort, because i think that's something you'd do!! you're always my number one role model and i want to do the best that i can for you, no matter what~~ <3 but my favourite thing to do, is probably always going to be writing- it might be silly, isn't it? i mean, the videos or even one of my drawings are something you're more likely to see, but i feel like through words is the most efficient way to explain my love for you~~

i mean, i guess that's a given. it's a direct way to tell you how i feel :D but sometimes i get over excited, i don't know if it looks weird or not- but on top of that, all of these letters are probably never going to be read by you, so some might find it silly i put so much time into it. but at the end of the day, i just have a lot of love for you, and i want you to know it :-[ you've become the most important person in my life and showing you that i'm feeling lots of love for you every day is really important~~ i really am so happy to spend every day as your fan, it's always special even if i don't get to see you directly, i'm just always happy in your presence <3 sometimes, you're the only thing that keeps me happy. last night was really great, because now when i get really upset i remember that not just you exist, who always makes me feel better- but specifically, i have a comfort song like my treasure, which i can always go to. ㅜㅜ it's like something magical that really helps me feel better instantly, almost like a baby with a pacifier- bc it got me to stop crying last night.. i mean, it's kind of random, but i'm just kind of in a weird place right now. and i don't know what to do, but i feel better with you here, you're what pushes me to keep going :D i know i'll always be able to handle any difficulties that come my way, because you're always here in my heart and always close to teumes in general, you bring comfort to so many people and i just hope you know that youre cherished by many~~

i hope you rely on teumes when you're having a hard time, or your members, family, whoever it is that brings you the most comfort- bc thinking of you feeling unpleasantries in your heart really hurts me :( i know that in order to grow stronger it's important to feel those emotions,, but still, i just want you to have a comfort system since i can always rely on you,, i'd feel guilty about doing so if i thought you didn't rely on others when you needed it~ i know you're a strong person, but don't hesitate when you need to depend on someone else~ !!! so many people have your back, and i'll always be one bc i'm so grateful just as to how you've healed me through some of the worst things, and continually help me when something else arises. you're just really dependable, and i don't even know you personally- i think that's an amazing feat, so just treat yourself accordingly~ that means physically toooo~~ you're a busy boy who does a lot of active things!!! so rest your body, sleep when you feel like, just stretch out on your bed with your plushies, maybe do some stretching if your muscles feel sore- eat plenty of meals to get back your strength, and please don't ever forget how amazing you're doing. hehehe i just want you at your best, because every second you're in my life i feel like i'm at mine <3 i just always want the best for you, so please have a nice day.

i love you <3