dear choi hyunsuk~ (2021)

jan 5th, 2021

1.5.21

hellooo favourite boy of mine!!

not much has gone on today- but my morning did start excellently!! because that song you guys did the anime for- that song came out today o: i don't think i heard your part in it yet, but wow- it was really pretty!!! i can't wait to hear the full version of it- you guys really outdid yourselves!! you always do so amazing, i'm just really proud to know you guys, who always work so hard!! it really inspires me too, you know :DD like i did another drawing today, it was the same old like usual but i really tried pouring my heart in it- to make it both realistic and whimsical i guess hahah- but wouldn't you call that surrealism??? well,, i'm the artist i guess,, so i should know- but i don't LOL. its kind of funny bc i was talking about this on my youtube 'cause for this drawing i did a screen record for some of it, and i was just talking about random stuff- which did include you btw ;33 but i was also talking about how like,, i never went to art school technically, so tbh when i think about it.. i'm probably pretty lucky that i've had mild success as an artist?? i can somewhat draw out the ideas i have, do portraits- i mean, the only reason i've been able to afford you guys' albums is *because* of my art itself,, i've even done designs for wrestlers !! o : but it's kind of funny i've done all of this without proper schooling for it, right?? i think i could probably do better- that's why i try to think about you while i draw, to push me to do even better!! and to work harder, but i wanna be like you and look for more positives- so i think i'm grateful i've gotten to the point to where i am, even if i personally don't like it!!

thank you for helping me have a more positive outlook on life~ it's hard sometimes, but when i think about what you would do, it really helps me handle a situation in a much better way than i probably would on my own!! you're really influential and a great influence to my life in so many ways more than i can name- mental health, inspiration, i mean.. honestly, everything. i can't think of anything that you can't help me with, you're a real life angel to me and i can't be convinced otherwise. i'm so thankful to have you, who makes my life special <33 but you know what else i was talking about in that video?  i was talking about how i want to draw you again soon! i think i mentioned that not too long ago, but i'm thinking about it a lot today. esp since that picture of you with the balloons is my home screen, and i keep seeing it a lot through the day- i've been on my phone a lot today lol (looking through guides for the game i'm playing- but it just gives me the urge to draw it- i think i should draw the other members too tho, so it's fair !! so i'll wait for everyone else pics o: but i can't wait to do yours- drawing you really brings a lot of joy into my heart, in ways i can explain and ways i can't- but regardless, it makes me excited !! i wonder if you'd like my art sometimes- idk if that's selfish or not. but at least the ones of you~ i always try my best so that you'd like them!!

sorry for rambling so much today- i think this kinda happens when i don't know what to say T_T i think if i don't get distracted- today i want to work on our letter for 800 days o: it makes me excited thinking about our first milestone of the year~~ i dunno if the letter will be super long- just cause i don't want to make it unbearable to read, but i want to put all of my emotions into it like always because i feel like there's more than normal and i just want you to know that i'm of course really thankful for how you can always help me no matter what <33 sometimes things are hard- and even since our 2 years, i feel like i have a lot of new things to talk about, the tricky part is just expressing those things properly- but i promise, i'll try my best :D my purpose for all of these letters, is just that i want you to be happy :( i don't think i do so great at delivering the messages, but you're my world and nothing less- you bring me the most happiness and i'm thankful for every single day because i know you're here with me, always making every moment of my day better~!! but hey- the most important thing, like always, is this:

i hope you're having a great day! you really, deserve the utmost best, and i just want you to be happy, i keep saying that.. but be sure to rest when you can, eat when you can, all of the important stuff to replenish your body :( please don't neglect those things. they're important, so important! also if you ever feel stressed, just remember that teumes always have your back okay? i'll always do whatever it takes, if it means you're happy!! i'm always working hard, for you and for treasure. you make life worth living, and like always- i just want to say thank you.. <3 be sure to take care of yourself today, alright?

i love you so much <33