Ch. 52 - Snapped

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We were basically just sitting there forever, waiting for nightfall. I wanted to help Reiner and Bertholdt escape, but I knew the scouts would try and take me back. I was an asset to humanities survival and I have information they want. Plus, as much as I hate Eren, he's going to be put in more danger. Non-titan related danger.

Just in case I can't go with them, I'll try to meet up with them again. The only thing for paper I had was the tiny portrait of the family of inheritors for the Speed Titan. I didn't have a pen either.

I sighed and then picked off a good enough stick from the branch I sat on. Everyone was lost in their own minds so I doubt anyone would notice my actions. I lightly pressed the sharp end of the stuck into my finger, drawing blood. I winced slightly, but then began to write on the back of the paper.

I know this was gross, but it's the resources I had. I finished writing the note and let the words dry before folding the paper again, shoving it in my pocket.

"Reiner. Do you have any water to spare?" Eren asked. "You wouldn't want me dying of dehydration now, would you?"

"Even if it's a matter of life or death, there's nothing we can do given our situation," Reiner responded.

"He's right," I said to Eren. "This situation couldn't be an shittier."

"Speaking of which. Ever since the titans showed up yesterday morning, we've been working our asses off. With nothing to eat or drink and not even a wine of sleep," Reiner mumbled to himself, and everyone looked at him confused. Even Bertholdt. "Fortunately, the wall wasn't broken or anything. So I think we deserve to take a break for once. We'll see about getting promoted later."

"Reiner..." Bertholdt called to his friend, trying to snap him back to reality.

I was so confused. What was going on with Reiner?

"What? We've done plenty enough to deserve it. I think we've performed outstandingly, considering all we've been put through. I know soldiers like us are supposed to fulfill their duties, but I think we've all earned it," Reiner stated.

"Reiner....What are you talking about?" I questioned.

"Huh? What do you mean?" Reiner asked. "I'm not saying demand to be promoted to captains or anything."

"That's...not what I meant..." I responded worriedly.

"Oh yeah. Where did you all get that cannon from? That really saved my ass. It's a good thing you helped me after that. To be honest, I was really glad you were there even though the situation was dangerous. You've always treated me nice especially-" Reiner rambled on but was cut off by Eren.

"Hey!" Eren yelled. "You bastard. You've got to be kidding me."

"Huh? What are you so angry about, Eren?" Reiner asked confused. "Did I say something wrong?"

He didn't realize what all he was saying. He must be in the mindset that he's just a soldier in the scouts and not also a warrior. This isn't good.

"If you want to die just keep talking!" Eren yelled.

"Eren! Stop!" I called to him.

Yelling was not going to solve this issue.

"This isn't right. No matter how you look at it," I spoke softly. "Bertholdt.... What's happening to Reiner?"

"Huh?" Reiner responded and looked towards Bertholdt.

Bertholdt looked sadly at Reiner and said, "Reiner...You're not a soldier, remember? You and I....We're Warriors."

It looked as if reality hit Reiner in the face. He sat there silently for awhile before speaking again.

"Oh right. That's how it is..." Reiner spoke having realized what had happened and put his head in his hands.

"Huh? What's he doing?" Eren asked and glanced over at me.

"He doesn't realize it, but he's been living two lives that have been contradicting each other. He doesn't even realize it. On one hand, he's a warrior sent to destroy humanity, while on the other, he's a soldier trying to save humanity," I explained and gazed back at Eren. "Because he was a soldier for so long, he lost sight of who he was and couldn't tell which reality was real..."

I then remembered something Annie told me, back in our days of training.

'What's his deal?' I asked

'He's getting caught up in a fake reality,' Annie replied.

"That's what she meant. This has been going on for a long time," I murmured. "He convinced himself he was a soldier of the walls in order to maintain emotional balance in his heart."

"Enough!" Reiner yelled at me.

I was stunned, but he looked like he was in pain and clearly wanted me to stop talking.

"I apologize. I didn't mean to pry so much...." I said with a small sigh.

"You've gotta be kidding me," Eren spoke. "Why are you pretending to be the victim here? What's your deal? That day, what the hell were you thinking when you talked to us?"

Eren continued, "Tell me Bertholdt. I'm talking you, you damn lackey. I told you everything while you looked me right in the eyes. About the day my mother was eaten alive...Isn't that right? Thank to the piece of Wall you kicked that went flying straight into my house, my mother couldn't escape or run away. You remember, right? I told you the whole story. What were you thinking."

"Back then..." Bertholdt finally spoke. "I thought....I felt sorry for you."

"Oh...I see..." Eren began. "You guys are neither soldier nor warriors. You're just murderers. Mass murderers who have killed countless innocent people."

"You don't think we know that! You don't need to point that out for me!" Reiner shouted.

"Then don't pretend to have emotions like the rest of us! You're not one of us! You're not even human anymore. You two have turned this world into a living hell!"

"EREN SHUT UP!" I yelled at him, getting up well enough to shove him down onto the branch, falling along with due to my pour stability.

I had a vision of Frieda when I pushed him and I froze. He seemed confused as well, possibly seeing the same vision. That's when I lost it.....

I snapped.

"You're one to talk! Because of you, you have put so many lives in danger! People who have sacrificed themselves so that you may live. Do you know how many have done that!?" I screamed at him. "Hopefully you didn't kill any in Stohess when you went after Annie or went titan crazy."

"What?" Eren said shocked by my sudden boldness.

"Your father ate my sister!" I screamed at him and grabbed fist fulls of his shirt. "He fought her and ate her with no remorse or hesitation. He killed all the people in my family who cared about me! Your father then passed this on to you and that's only caused more murder and bloodshed. You have no right to talk you idiot! You're not even human anymore either! And you're a murderer! All of these deaths and blood are on your hands! All the scouts who died for you! So stop being such a hypocrite!"

My breathing was ragged and I felt like a fire was lit inside of me. I wanted to tear his head off or even throw him to the titans. That's how angry I was.

Eren was shocked, processing all the information that I just said.

Good. He should know all the hell he's put people through and all the blood that has been spilled because of him. He can't just blame Reiner and Bertholdt for everything. He can't just keep using titans as excuses.


Another chapterrrrr!! Yeee!

Things are getting deep and (Y/N) freaking went off!

Poor baby Reiner. He'll get better though.

More chapters will arrive later!

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