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"Do you want something to drink or eat or...anything?" Haydn tipped his head sympathetically.
"I'm fine, really. But thank you" I forced a smile.
I had been friends with Haydn for basically forever. We were more like brother and sister than best friends and everyone knew it. When I first moved out here I should have listened to his warnings about not getting involved with any of his teammates. He warned me it would end badly and he was right.
Despite Haydn's efforts to keep me out of relationships with his teammates, it happened anyways. I never planned to get involved with Andrei, it just kind of happened. It started with small notions, a light touch, a random compliment or a knowing smile. It quickly turned into hating being without each other, constant sleepovers and the overwhelming need to protect each other.
It seemed as fast as it started, it went sour. We started fighting a lot about stupid minuscule things, things I don't even remember now. It all fell apart when we angrily decided to call it quits and move on without each other. I instantly regretted it the moment it happened but I was too stubborn to back down.
*** "I can't do this anymore Andrei, I can't" I choked out on the verge of tears.
It was our third fight of the day and my emotions were running on high. I just wanted things to go back to the way they were. I wanted us to go back to the way we were.
"Maybe we just...maybe we just don't belong together" he ran his hands through his hair frustrated.
"Maybe we don't" I said timidly.
I instantly regretted those words. I didn't mean them at all, I believed the exact opposite.
"Wow" he breathed.
For a second he was silent. He moved like he was going to speak again but instead held himself back and walked out the door. ***
That was three weeks ago. We hadn't spoken since. I had thought about reaching out to him a few times but thought better of it when I thought about the way he left.
Now, I still have to see him since I spend a lot of my free time with Haydn and he spends a lot of his time with the team. Sitting in the backyard of one of the guys' houses where I was brought to a pool party by Haydn was nice at first, until Andrei showed up of course.
We kept our distance. Stayed opposite sides of the yard, didn't even glance in the other's direction and avoided the topic of each other at all costs.
"I don't get why you don't just talk to him" Haydn sighed sitting next to me pulling me from my thoughts.
"Because it would change nothing. He would still detest me and if I tried to make amends and that was still the outcome it would just make it hurt even more" I looked at my hands where I played with my fingers.
"Y/N, he doesn't detest you. As much as I hate to admit it, you guys were good together. You made each other happy and I hate seeing you in so much pain now when you were so happy together. He could never detest you, not with the way he looks at you." he rubbed my back.
All I could do was shrug. The fact that Andrei couldn't even look at me made me disbelieve everything Haydn was telling me.
The look on his face when he walked out the door that day told me everything. We weren't fixing this easily, if we could at all.
"I guess we're just at a stalemate" I sadly smiled.
"I know what you need" he stated getting up.
"Oh yeah? What's that?" I asked raising an eyebrow.
"Lemonade" he shrugged walking away.
I shook my head with a laugh. Haydn could always make me laugh, even when he wasn't trying. Something told me he wasn't just going to get lemonade but I really didn't care.
He wasn't even gone a minute while I sat scrolling through my phone before I felt someone sit next to me. I brought my gaze up to meet Teuvo's.
"Thought you might need something sweet" he said handing over a plate of two cookies and some fruit.
"Thanks" I smiled weakly.
Teuvo was the only other person besides Haydn to know the full story. We had become fast friends when we met and I always told him everything.
"He's an idiot you know" he softly said with a laugh.
"I know" I started with a laugh. "But I miss him being my idiot"
"He's always going to be your idiot"
"Oh, T, how I wish that were true" I breathed a laugh popping some of the fruit in my mouth.
"Just give it some time" he patted my shoulder.
I didn't know how much time I had left to give. Three weeks had seemed like a lifetime and my hope was wearing thinner by the day.
"Enough about me" I finally huffed. "What's been going on with you?" I asked genuinely interested. It had been a bit since I last saw him and I wanted to hear everything.
He was a good few minutes into catching me up on his life's recent adventures when I realized Haydn was taking an extraordinarily long time with that lemonade that was "exactly what I needed". Suddenly, I felt someone standing over us.
"Hey, do you mind if I steal her away for a second?" Andrei looked at Teuvo who motioned with his hands that it was ok. "Can we maybe talk for a second?"
The look on his face was hopeful, although I still wasn't 100% sure this was going to end well.
"Sure, of course" I stood up. "Thanks T, I'll be back" I glanced at Teuvo before rubbing the top of his head and following Andrei to a bench near the back of the yard by a garden.
This would either be the closure I was looking for, a refreshing renewal or the start of our second downfall.
...to be continued...
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