I Wish I Knew - Carter Hart

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"Can we please stop watching this now?" I laughed at my friend who was hitting play yet again on the newest video posted by the NHL

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"Can we please stop watching this now?" I laughed at my friend who was hitting play yet again on the newest video posted by the NHL.

"Come on, Y/N! This is exciting it has to be a sign of something." She nudged me.

"It's not a sign of anything, I'm in the NWHL, Sidney Crosby is my big brother, of course they're going to make a video of my top ten goals." I explained making my way to the laptop she was still sat at. "It means nothing" I tried to force through her head as I closed the laptop.

"Whatever you say" she rolled her eyes opening the laptop again as my phone rang from the other room.

"Play that video again and I will not hesitate hitting you" I joked answering my phone before even looking at who it was. I had just assumed it was Sidney.

I felt like I had blacked out for most of the conversation until the voice on the other end got louder.

"Congratulations Y/N, we'll see you soon" the voice said.

"Oh, yeah. Thank you so much, thank you" I said hanging up the phone and walking back to the living room in a daze.

It was quiet for a minute before I felt a pair of eyes staring at me.

"What's wrong, Y/N?" She asked concerned.

"I have to go" I finally said slightly snapping myself out of it.

"Go? What happened? Why?" She started to panic setting down the laptop she once had in her lap.

"I have to go to Philadelphia" I said bluntly still kind of in a daze.

"Why?" She was confused.

"I'm going to the NHL" I explained still breathless.

"I told you it was a sign" she jumped up excited engulfing me in a hug.

It had been a crazy time trying to make sure everything was packed and ready to go and once in Philadelphia, making sure everything was set up and comfortable for a stay with an unknown expiration date. The hotel room was small but cozy and as I rushed out the door to my first practice I couldn't help but stop and think how lucky I was.

After practice I decided to hang back and get to know some of the team. One person I seemed to instantly click with was Carter. He was funny and open and made me feel welcomed. I knew this was the start of a great friendship, so when Carter asked if I wanted him to show me around the city and grab lunch the next day, I said yes without hesitation.

I settled into a rhythm in Philadelphia between practices, games and hanging out with Carter I barely had time to become homesick. I still kept in touch with everyone back home as much as I could and I knew that at some point soon, they would come and visit.

I pulled my jacket closer to me as I walked to my car after a game. We had won, it was always the best feeling coming out of the game with a win.

"Y/N!" I heard a voice call from behind me. That voice had become familiar over my short time in Philadelphia.

"Carter!" I mimicked him leading to a smile from him.

"What do you have planned for tonight?" He asked catching up to me.

"Probably just go home, maybe watch some tv" I laughed.

"Well, I don't know about you but I'm starving...want to go grab some food?" He smiled hopefully.

"I mean, I guess I could eat" I shrugged tossing my stuff in the trunk.

"Eating? I'm down! Text me where" Ivan said as he passed my car without stopping. I shook my head with a laugh and turned back to Carter.

"Looks like we'll have company" I joked closing my trunk.

Carter seemed almost deflated, it made my smile fade.

"What's wrong?" I asked placing a hand on his arm and rubbing gently.

"What? Nothing..." he trailed off. I could tell by his tone he was lying to me, something was wrong.

"You think I don't know when you're lying to me Hart?" I laughed.

"I was...just kind of hoping..." he stuttered. It seemed like he was fighting hard to find the right words to use and I became impatient.

"Hoping what?" I pressed further.

"I was just kind of hoping that it would be just the two of us" he finally spit out.

"Oh, I can just text Ivan and tell him we aren't going. Not a big deal" I smiled at him pulling out my phone.

"Y/N, you don't get it. It is a big deal. I've been wanting to talk to you and I thought this dinner would be the perfect time. We're coming off a win and I thought it would be the best time to tell you how I felt since I always feel great after the team gets a win."

"Carter, you're rambling. What do you mean how you feel? What's going on?" I was genuinely confused and a little nervous. Carter had never acted like this. I was worried he wanted to end our friendship that I had grown to love.

"Y/N" He started grabbing both of my hands in his.

"Carter?"

"Y/N, I love you. I know you're like my best friend now and I tried to stop this from happening I really did but I needed you to know, I can't hold it in any longer. You're amazing, you're beautiful, you're perfect and I truly love you" he finished gripping my hands a little tighter.

"Carter..." I didn't know what to say, I was at a complete loss for words.

"Y/N, can you say something? Anything?" Carter pressed.

"Carter, I love you...I'm just not sure it's in the same way." I gripped his hands as he tried to pull them away. "Carter..." I tried to get him to stop pulling his hands away.

"No, Y/N, it's ok. I get it" he smiled placing a hand on my cheek. "Maybe dinner isn't such a good idea tonight, I'll see you later Y/N"

"Carter don't leave, please" I called after him as his form became smaller the further away it got.

I stood in the parking garage next to my car. I hadn't moved since Carter left. I feared that the worst had happened and I lost Carter for good. I took a deep breath as I turned back to finally get in my car when I heard a car pull up behind me.

"Are we still eating...is everything ok?" Ivan asked hanging out of his car.

"I wish I knew" I replied sadly.

Requested by: @_that_hockey_girl_

Hope you like it! I decided to split this imagine into two parts, hope that's ok!
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