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"I need to grab a drink, you going to be ok?" my friend Ella said the minute we walked in the door.
"I'll be fine, I'm going to go find the host anyways" I smiled at Ella as she scurried away.
I walked through the small get together looking for Kirby's mom Hillary, she was the one who invited us after all. Even after everything that had happened, Hillary and I stayed close friends and would text often. So when she invited us to her dinner party, I couldn't say no...even if Kirby and some of his teammates would be there.
To be fair, I was warned to not get involved with anyone when I first started spending time with the team, but I thought everyone was just overreacting and being dramatic. Turns out I should have listened.
Things started out great but quickly turned sour...now I do whatever I can to avoid Kirby Dach.
Deciding I needed a drink as well before making small talk, I made my way to join Ella in getting a drink. When I made it to the kitchen, Ella was nowhere in sight. I shrugged before grabbing a cup.
"Didn't think you would be here" I heard Kirby's voice from behind me that made me stop in my tracks.
"Didn't think I would either but Ella wanted to come" I said not turning my focus from what I was doing.
"It's nice to see you" he said softly.
I didn't know what to do. In one aspect it was nice to see him, but on the other I was still so infuriated with him.
I chose to stay quiet.
After a few seconds of silence, I heard him retreat from the room and I let out a breath of air I didn't know I was holding in.
I cursed myself for still letting that man have an effect on me as much as he did.
Dinner was fantastic and Hillary said she had a surprise for desert and retreated into the kitchen quickly, turning down all the help that was offered to her when we asked.
I caught Kirby's eye like I had been inadvertently doing all dinner and looked away quickly. I felt his eyes still on me, staring right through me.
I slowly turned and looked back at him and realized I was completely right. His eyes never stopped looking at me.
'Can we talk?' he mouthed to me.
I shook my head slightly, indicating I didn't want to talk.
'Please?' he mouthed again looking at me with wide eyes.
I broke eye contact with him as his mom came back with cookies from a place we all love in the area. Ella gave me a look like she was questioning everything.
"Don't start" I said lowly to her with a laugh.
"Just observing" she smiled. "I think talking to him is a good idea though" she said taking a bite of her cookie.
"What good can come from that? Nothing" I said with a shrug.
"Might be able to clear the air and actually be in the same room with him without wanting to strangle him" she gave me a look and turned away.
I glanced up at him as he talked to his teammate next to him and realized, what could it hurt?
When his glance caught mine I motioned with my head that we should go talk. He nodded and followed me away from the table.
"Alright, you wanted to talk sooo.....talk" I motioned with my arms.
"What happened to us?" he asked softly.
"What do you mean, you were there" I giggled.
"I mean, we were great. I thought this was everything for me, where did it all go so wrong?"
"This" I motioned between the two of us with my hands almost violently. "This was everything for you?! You showed the exact opposite, you acted like this was nothing to you...like I was nothing to you"
"That's what you thought?" he looked at me with almost shock.
"That's what I felt" I shrugged moving to turn away from him.
"Y/N" he stopped me by gently grabbing my arm and turning him back to him. "I had no idea you felt that way, believe me. I've never had anything like what we had before. Maybe, without realizing it, I got too comfortable and forgot to show you how much you mean to me"
"Mean?" I quickly cut him off, shocked by the use of his present tense.
"Yes" he said softly. "I still love you, nothing's been the same"
"Kirby" I stopped him. "I know you've been dating, I-" I started ranting before it was his turn to cut me off.
"Yeah I tried, I tried. I can't do it. I can't...I can't keep kissing strangers and pretending they're you" he took my hand in his. "None of this" he motioned with his free hand. "Feels right anymore, not without you"
"What do you want me to say?" I almost pleaded. "You were my whole future and you made me feel like you didn't even care"
"And I'm sorry about that, I didn't do it on purpose." he rubbed his thumb along the back of my hand. "I want you to say you'll give me another chance, us another chance"
"Kirby-" I started before he cut me off again.
"Before you say anything else. It will never happen again, I will always do my best to make sure you know how important you are to me. But, if I fall off, I need you to tell me. Tell me so I can fix it instead of you running" he pleaded.
I took a deep breath, preparing myself to answer.
"One condition"
"Anything" he said seriously, searching my face for any clue as to if it was a good or bad condition.
"We start completely over, from scratch" I explained.
"Hi, I'm Kirby, I play hockey. Nice to meet you" he smiled holding his hand out for me to shake.
I giggled at how ridiculous he was, with a small shake of my head.
"I'm, Y/N." I shook his hand. "It's nice to meet you too" I smiled widely.
"This might be a little fast since, you know, we just met and all but would you want to go to a dinner party with me? I think dinner is already over and probably desert too but I'm sure there's some good conversation left" he chuckled.
"That sounds nice" I laughed, following him back to the dinner party where everyone was in the living room talking.
"How nice of you to join us again" Ella smirked at me, making me smile widely at her.
"Everything ok?" Hillary asked seriously.
"Everything is fine" I gave her a reassuring smile.
"Everything is perfect" Kirby beamed taking a seat...the only remaining seat.
"Except now I have no seat" I joked with a giggle.
"Here" Kirby held out a hand to me. "You can sit on my lap"
With a slight smile, I took seat on his lap.
"I knew it!" Ella exclaimed while the rest of the room celebrated a little.
"We're starting over though, completely" I smiled.
"Starting over" he nodded his head, turning to his teammate who was seated next to him. "Remind me to tell you about this amazing girl I met" he joked, driving an eye roll out of his teammate and myself.
