Our Time (BILLIE EILISH)

- O n e h u n d r e d & t h i r t y e i g h t -

Billie: "I have a gift for you, in my car."

I laced our hands together and I walked to my car, I got a box out of the truck of my car. The box was light, so I could carry the box with one arm and I held on tightly to her hand.

We both walked in the door, and we sat on the steps. I set the box in front of her and she opened it.

Billie: "It's all the hoodies you would need while I'm on tour."

Maddie looked at me and smiled, she still had tears running down her cheeks. But it wouldn't be worth it to wipe them, because that would make her cry more.

Maddie: "I love you, so so so so much."

Billie: "I love you more than you will ever know." I whispered into her ear.

We both got up and walked to the couch, I laid down fully and she laid on top of me. We didn't have any plans, this could be the last time I see her for four months, and all I wanna do is hold her and cry, she's down for it too.

Both my arms were connected around her lower back, one of her arms are stroking my cheek up and down and her other arm is rested on my shoulder.

All we could was cry and whisper 'I love you' over and over again to each other, to make sure one another gets the point, she knows how much I love her and I know how much she loves me. But we don't want there to be a last 'I love you.'

She whispered I love you, but I couldn't keep going, I hugged her tighter. She lifted her head off my shoulder and looked at me, I tired to stop crying while she looked at me. But this could be the last time she looks at me like that, in four months. That's the only thought going through my brain.

Billie: "What if you stop loving me?"

Maddie: "What if you stop loving me?"

Billie: "I would never."

Maddie: "You answered your own question."

Billie: "No but seriously."

Maddie: You're crazy... if you think I would ever stop loving you. Why would I stop loving my happiness?" She played with the ends of my hair.

Billie: "I'm not going to be here to be your happiness anymore."

Maddie: "But you're doing something that makes you happy, so I'm happy."

Billie: Tour used to make me happy, when I had nothing to lose when I left, but the thought of losing you has been on my mind for the past week."

Maddie: "Is this what has been stressing you out?"

Billie: "Yes."

Maddie: "So it's my fault that you've been stressed?"

Billie: "No, it's my fault for overthinking it. I was so so scared that you wouldn't understand where I was coming from, what I'm about to say, please don't take it the wrong way."

Maddie: "I won't."

I held out my pinky in front of her, Maddie locked our pinkies together and held it while I talked.

Billie: "If you were still the same that you were when we met, you would've taken it completely different. The reason that I'm saying this, is because I feel like I fixed you. You're not a hundred percent there yet, but I couldn't be more proud of how much you've grown mentally."

Maddie: "Thank you babygirl, after you left the other day. I was thinking to myself only because I bored out my mind, and I was like, damn Billie changed me, for the better, I mean it when I say, I don't know where I would be without you, and I don't like thinking about it either." She laced our hands together and she was stroking my thumb.

Billie: "That's my proudest accomplishment."

Maddie looked up at me with her brow raised.

Billie: "At the start of this, I knew how broken and insecure you were. I knew how scared you were to trust me, fearing that I was gonna leave like everyone else. I made it my goal to stay with you, and to make you the baddest bitch you could be. Lets face it, you were already a bad bitch, but now you're thriving and you can't be stopped."

Maddie: "I have no clue how you fixed me, like you said, I'm not all the way there yet. But I thought someone like you would never come around, and I love you so much for everything that you've done for me, I'll never be able to thank you enough."

Billie: "You don't need to thank me, that was my goal, to show you that you could be loved and treated amazing. I've had an amazing time with you, and I've had so much fun spoiling you and I can't wait to do when I get back from tour."

Maddie: "What's your goal for when you get back?"

Billie: "To grow our relationship and to basically have this again, and normally there's already another tour in the works, but right now there's nothing when I get back. So the only thing is to make sure that you're loved and that you love life."

Maddie looked at me with glossy eyes.

Maddie: "You have genuinely made my life so much better, and I can't wait for you to get back."

I moved my hands off of her back and I cupped her face gently, I was looking into her blue eyes, that look so fascinating.

Billie: "God, I don't know how I'mma do this."

Maddie: "You're gonna do it how you normally do it."

Billie: "But when I normally do, I don't have anything waiting for me. But now I have something waiting for me that, I don't know if I can live with out."

Maddie: "I will be here when you get back."

Billie: "And that thought hurts me so much."

Maddie: "What do you mean?"

Billie: "I get to travel the world for a living, and you can travel, but I get paid to do it. I wanna travel the world with you and no one but you."

Maddie: "We'll travel the world together, I know it."

I looked at her.

Maddie: "We're seventeen, we have our whole lives ahead of us."

Billie: "You're about to turn eighteen and I'm not going to be here, I have a show the day of."

Maddie: "Babygirl, you're worrying for nothing."

Billie: "You're turning eighteen, that's amazing."

Maddie: "I'll be eighteen when you see me."

Billie: "But I won't get to celebrate with you."

Maddie: "I'm not even doing anything for my birthday, I have flight back at night and then I'mma just be here, I'll probably hang out with the twins and Dani or something. I have never really done anything for my birthday."

Billie: "But it's eighteen, you're legal."

Maddie: "And?"

Billie: "I'm not gonna argue with you right now." I smiled at her.

Maddie smiled back at me too, she blinked back tears. I wiped the tears from her cheeks, I placed a kiss on her forehead. I could not love somebody more.

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this chapter made me cry more than the last one.

thanks ily

words: 1211