Our Time (BILLIE EILISH)

- E i g h t y o n e -

Billie's POV:

I just saw the notepad, I knew of it. But I didn't expect it to be like that. I looked at it, I didn't want to read it. But subconscious did it, I don't remember what it said. Because my vision became blurry when tears started to form, it wasn't the words it was the little doodles that said "I love you." "I don't wanna lose you." Like I know that she's terrified to lose me, and she's finally starting to convince herself that I'm not going to to what she thinks I'm going to do. But I don't know, it hit me that she genuinely thinks that I'mma leave her once I know. Like what would I do with that information anyways? 

I got out of my thoughts and put away all the shit that I bought, I bought like the normal shit. A thermometer, Advil, ibuprofen, shit like that. I also got her prescription filled. There was three bottles, the first one she had to take two every six hours. The second bottle, she had to take one everyday for two weeks. Then the final looked a little different, from the others. She had to take two a day for 11 days. Why so specific?  

I put the medicine into a little cup and then I washed my hands, I got a water out of the fridge and put it on the little tray that was already on the counter. While her soup was heating up, I looked at my phone.

Finneas🙃

Read the labels on her medicine before you give it to her.

okay?

Read at 9:16PM

I started reading the labels, one said something that I couldn't even try to put the letters together. The other sounded normal and then there one that caught my eye, antidepressants. Fam what? She takes these, I never thought that she was that kind of person. Altering her mental state with drugs, bro what the hell? 

I don't let that effect me though, I feel like she would tell me. Because- okay the way she came down the stairs when she remembered about the notepad. She wouldn't let handle her medicine like this if she didn't want me to see it, she's been forgetful lately. Like hella.

The soup finally gets warm enough so take it upstairs to see her playing a game on her phone, not gonna lie I'd be bored too if I was dying of 930 different illnesses.

It's eating me alive I wanna know.

Billie: "So you take antidepressants?"

Her eye's widened.

Maddie: "This looks bad, Kenzie brought it up the other day. Because I was big sad. I told her I wasn't against it, but if it affects you. I won't take them."

Billie: "Really?"

Maddie nodded.

Billie: "I'mma take it away from you, but I'm not going to throw it away. I'm going to leave the bottle here, when you're better, but don't get me wrong I've been sad my whole life. Like depression all that, and I never took medicine. I wouldn't consider myself healed- but I'm a lot better then I used to be, I know why you're like this. And it eats me up everyday. But basically what I'm getting at is there's other ways to make yourself better or happy then altering your mental state with prescribed drugs." 

Maddie: "What makes me like this?"

Billie: "Okay, so correct me if I'm wrong but ever since you even starting planning to tell me. Because it's what makes you, you. I'm basically making you relive that time of your life, I'm not meaning to. But for my wellbeing, you're going to tell me because you think that I deserve to know. Weather I know or not, I'm still going to look at you the same. If I could make you stop thinking about everything that happened, I would. Finneas and I talk about this all the time."

Maddie: "What do you and Finneas talk about?"

Billie: "We talk about you a lot."

Maddie: "Like?"

Billie: "Oh I don't know, he's the one that told me about the fans. He told me I should hear you about meeting with... yeah anyways, I talk to him a lot about you because he has a successful relationship. I want ours to remain successful."

Maddie smiled. 

I handed her the tray, but I took the cup off of it and took the one pill out. While Maddie took the medicine, I went downstairs and put the pill back in the bottle. I put the lid on the bottle, and I looked at it. I exhaled, because I'll be so sad if she takes these. I put it deep in her junk drawer, hoping that she'll never look for it. If she does find them, I want her to find them unintentionally.

I walked back upstairs to see her blowing on her soup and drinking her water, I set alarms on my phone so I know when she has to take her medicine again. We gotta wake up at 3AM for it, but we gotta do what we gotta do. I got in the bed by her, and she smiled while she drank the water. She put the tray on her nightstand.

Maddie: "My stomach hurts." She pouted. She moved closer to me and rested her head on my shoulder and I wrapped my arm around her. I stroked her shoulder lightly. Before she drifted off to sleep, I kissed the stop of head before nuzzling closer to her. I'm really about to get sick, but it's all worth it because I get to take care of someone that I love. I didn't fall asleep right away though, today's been a fucking lot. So I took this time to process it because I haven't had this much shit happen to me in a fat fucking minute.

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bro im not even going to lie to y'all this chapter came outta fucking nowhere. dont get me wrong this adds to the plot, but like damn fam. 

im mad at y'all so expect some shit.

thanks ily

words: 1008