Our Time (BILLIE EILISH)

- O n e h n d r e d & t w e n t y t h r e e -

Billie: "I don't deserve you." She said in a baby voice.

Maddie: "Shut up, you know you deserve me."

Billie: "Whatever you say..."

I traced her her jawline with her my fingers, she relaxed more under my touch. 

Maddie: "You like that?"

She nodded and I kept tracing her jawline with the tip of my fingers until I had to go get the food. I kissed the top of her head before I made my way down to the lobby. I got the food and walked back to the elevator. 

I walked back into the room, and handed Billie her food. I sat in the chair that I sat in last night, while I texted Kenzie about what I wanted to do before tour.

Billie was eating her food, while she was watching The Office on my phone, and I was responding to emails. The doctor came in the room, so I moved quickly because he needed to stand where I was sitting.

I put my laptop in my bag, and Billie gave me back my phone. I put my phone in the pocket of my sweatpants.

Doctor: "She appears to be doing better, her fevers gone, she should be outta here tomorrow."

Maddie: "That's so good to hear."

The doctor reached behind the bed to push a button, and when he was retracting his arm. His arm skimmed over my purse making it fall on the ground and spill a few things, so I didn't think it was that big of a deal. Until I see what I didn't wanna I see, I knew I should've taken them out of the bag.

I was hoping I could pick them up without Billie noticing, but she already noticed.

Billie: "Shorty? What's that over there?"

At this point the doctor had left the room.

They're the anti-depressants, that I swear to God I'm not taking. But you won't believe me if I tell you that I'm not taking them.

Maddie: "I swear." I got cut off by looking at Billie's expression, then I remembered the conversation we had about these. I promised her that I wouldn't take them, I kept that promise, but from what she see's that's not what she thinks.

The reason they're in my bag, is because when I was sick, I was gonna be gone all day, and I was looking for one of the pill bottles and I saw that and I took it, thinking it was the medicine I was supposed to take. But never, did I take one of those, because Billie's happiness means everything to me... and I just let her down. 

Billie: "Are you taking those?"

No matter what I say, she won't believe me.

Maddie: "Dude, I swear..."

Billie: "You're trying to think of an excuse."

I looked at her, to see pure disappointment on her face. I disappointed the only thing I care about.

I grabbed my bag out of the chair and I left the room, I wasn't gonna come back. I got down to my car, and I texted Kenzie. 

Kenzie🌵

can you get me into an event tonight?

We have a meeting, but yeah, there's always one, you got something to wear?

you know I do.

Okay, see you in an hour.

Read at 3:35PM

I start driving back to my apartment, I don't know how I feel. I feel like shit, because I really did let Billie down. She doesn't know that I didn't do anything, but it hurts, that she thinks I would.

I made her a promise, and I would never ever break that I promise. Because she's my happiness, when she's sad, I can take care of her. But when she's sad because of me, then what the hell am I supposed to do? 

I'mma talk to her after she gets out of the hospital, because she's going through a lot right now. Wait, what of she doesn't wanna talk to me? She'll have to, not to sound conceited or anything, but she can't live without me.

That's a lie, she could very easily live without, it's me that can't live without her, But relationships aren't supposed to be one sided, Billie taught me that. 

I pull up to my apartment, I took all my bags inside, I put them in the glam room only because it was the closest room to me. I put my hair in a ponytail, while I looked through my glam closet to figure what I'm going to to wear tonight.

I narrowed it down to two different options, I decided that I would figure it out after I ate. Because I was gonna eat some of Billie's food, but then everything got ruined.

Surprisingly, I'm not as... hurt by this, like I know everything's gonna be okay. I can't think like that in every situation, but this one, everything will be fine.

I was looking at the calendar on my fridge, Kenzie has came here since I was at the hospital and she added things to the calendar and the to-do list. But I needed to add something to the to-do list.

Get a tongue ring before Billie.

I laughed to myself, because I know damn well the bitch isn't going to get a tongue ring. I could get it in a month and I'd still beat her. 

I was eating a salad I made myself, believe it or not I can actually cook, I just never have time to. I heard Kenzie putting the key in the door.

Kenzie: "Hey bitch!" 

Maddie: "Hey." 

Kenzie: "How have you been?" 

Maddie: "Okay, you?" 

Kenzie: "I'm good, but something's definitely up with you." 

Maddie: "Billie's kinda mad at me right now, I don't know." 

Kenzie: "Why?" 

Maddie: "Because she thinks that I'm taking anti-depressants and I'm not."

Kenzie: "Why does she think that? I thought you threw away the pills."

Maddie: "I thought I did too, but then I looked in my junk drawer looking for my other medicine when I was sick. I never payed attention to what the bottle looked like. So I grabbed it, thinking it was the medicine I was supposed to take."

Kenzie: "How did she see them?"

Maddie: "Because the dumb ass doctor knocked over my bag, and they spilled out."

Kenzie: "And immediately she thought that you were taking them?"

Maddie: "Mhm, so I left the hospital, called you, no we're here."

Kenzie: "What are you wearing to the event tonight? Have you decided?"

Maddie: "I have it narrowed down to two options, I said I was going to decide after I ate something."

Kenzie: "You're doing this event all by yourself, so is this look is fire, you don't need me anymore." She joked.

Maddie: "Nah, I'll always need you."

Kenzie: "I know."

Maddie: "I really hate how narcissistic you are sometimes."

Kenzie: "You still love me though."

Maddie: "Damn right I do." I smiled at her. 

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merry christmas 

thanks ily lots. 

words: 1164.