Our Time (BILLIE EILISH)

- O n e h u n d r e d & t h i r t y s e v e n -

A Few Days Later: August 25th at 12:00PM, Sunday.

Billie's POV:

I haven't really spoken to Maddie in a few days, like I've been texting her to make her not worry about everything. But I decided what I'm going to do, it's not what I wanna do. But it's what's is best for us.

I've been telling Maddie I'm busy with tour, which I am, but nowhere near how busy I thought I was going to be. I hate lying to her, and I know what happened last time. But I can't escape this.

I pull up to her apartment, nervous as hell, just because I have no clue how she's going to react, like I can see it going both ways and there's nothing I can to do escape the thought.

I get out of my car, and I before I put the key in the in the door. I stand there and think to myself if I really wanna do this. I have to.

I unlocked the door, to see Maddie walking towards her glam room, but she stopped once she saw me.

Maddie: "Billie!" She pulls me into a hug, but I don't really hug her back, because I can't get more attached to her.

Billie: "Hey shorty."

Maddie noticed that I wasn't hugging her back like I normally do, "Did I do something?" She asked with worry in her eyes.

Billie: "Not at all, that's why this is so hard."

Maddie: "What are you talking about?" I could tell by the look on her face, and her body language that she got more concerned.

Billie: "Okay, I'mma get this over with and stop stalling."

Maddie could tell that I was beyond serious.

Maddie: "Lets have a seat." She laced our hands together and walked towards the couch, I see the bear that I got her, propped up on all the pillows. It looked so cute up there.

Billie: "I'm leaving for tour in two days, we've been these problems. We've tried fixing them, but it's not working like we need them to."

Maddie: "Are you breaking up with-" I cut her off by placing my finger over her lips.

Billie: "Don't finish that sentence." I removed my finger from her lips and sighed. "Look we've tried and it didn't work, you're too busy to come on tour with me and I completely understand. I'm so proud of you, and of everything that you have done." Tears started to stream out of my eyes, and I wiped them away, hoping that she wouldn't notice. "While I'm on tour for so so so long I think we should..." I was trying too hard to figure out how to word this. "I just don't think, that right now is, Our Time. That made no sense, Oh my god!" I screamed in frustration."

Maddie: "No, that made perfect sense and I understand one hundred percent, right now isn't our time, I see it from your angle, but what about when you get back?" She asked in an almost unreadable way, that's the one thing I didn't want, I didn't want her to be unreadable because I need to know how she's feeling.

Billie: "I want this to work more than anything, because I love you with everything in me and you make me happy." More tears escaped from my eyes, causing me to wipe them away. "We're gonna talk when we can, and I don't know often that's gonna be and I hate that."

Maddie: "What if you're free and I'm not?"

Billie: "That's my biggest fear."

Maddie: "I have to say this just to make sure we both know what's going on."

Billie: "Go for it."

Maddie: "So like are we breaking up or taking a break? When you get back, we are most definitely going to be dating again?"

Billie: "God, I hope so."

Maddie: "So this is just a break?"

Billie: "Mhm, so no talking to anyone else the way you take to me." I was joking but at the same time, I was so serious.

Maddie: "Wasn't planning on it babygirl, but I have another question."

Billie: "Go."

Maddie: "Why are you doing this? Like, I understand why, but like why? Does that make sense?"

Billie: "Yeah, shorty, while I'm away, I don't want you to." I wiped my eyes again. "I don't you to be constricted, I don't want you tied down in a relationship. I still love you, and that's why this is the hardest thing I've ever had to do."

Maddie: "What do you mean constricted?"

Billie: "I'm not doing this because there's someone else, I'm doing it, because it would be easier, for both of us. What I mean by constricted is, I still wanna call you shorty and I still wanna tell you I love you. I guess the labels gone."

She looked at me, understanding what I was saying.

Billie: "So you could fuck someone else even though that would break me." My voice was so soft at the end.

Maddie: "I don't' wanna fuck anybody else, I understand what you're saying, I understand all of it, if that's what makes you happy then go for it."

Billie: "That's not what makes me happy! What would make me happy would be taking you on tour and traveling the world with you. But I understand that you're too busy, I respect that, dude I don't know I just... I just don't wanna leave you."

I leaned in and gave her a hug, she hugged me back tighter than ever. I could tell she was crying just by the way her body was moving up and down, great. I broke her heart.

Maddie: "What's going to happen when you get back?"

Billie: "No matter what happens, I still wanna be with you."

Maddie: "I still wanna be with you too." She gave me a smile as tears ran down her cheeks.

-----------------------

never have i ever cried so hard at this story, this chapter means we're in the final ten chapters.

thanks ily, sm

words: 1014