Our Time (BILLIE EILISH)

- O n e h u n d r e d & t w e n t y s e v e n -

Billie just looked at me.

Maddie: "I don't know." I said defeatedly, like every time I admit something like this to Billie. I can tell that she takes the blame for it, because she told me herself that she's trying to change the way I think and the way I feel. And me feeling this way, makes her feel like that she didn't do the best that she could.

Billie was quiet for most of the time, afterwards. I know she's thinking about how she can help and what she can do it to make it better, but see the crazy thing is, is that I don't think she can do anything to make this any better.

I stopped thinking about it primarily, even though it's still the only thing on my mind. Because I feel like this all the time, it's nothing new. I don't know, I just want something to boost me over the top, It's crazy to say this, I want something so so so stressful. Then when its done, I can look back at it, and say damn I really did that.

Don't get me wrong, everything I do is stressful, but nothing has been stressful enough to make me look back at it and make me realize that I did it. I'm proud of everything that I put out and everything that I have ever made. I need something more, I can't explain it.

Billie's POV:

What Maddie just confessed to me, absolutely broke my heart. I thought she was so happy with this launch and I thought that she was proud of herself. But she feels stuck and that there's no place for her to go, she has no clue where she's going and she doesn't know why she's doing this.

I know I shouldn't take the blame for this, but I do. I feel like Maddie doesn't talk to me like she should. I don't talk to her like I should, because I don't want her worrying about me, when she feels like this. Because she would do everything that she can, to make sure that I'm good, I am good. But she's not, what the hell am I going to do?

We walked out of the building after eating a good ass meal, I opened the door for her and she got in the car. I ran my hands through my hair, as I walked to my side of the car. I have to drop Maddie off, then I have to go to my place, get ready for an interview that I have to do and then I have to go her event. Today is stressful as hell for me, and her, because she has to put this image on for her event. She has to pretend that she's happy and she's not really happy.

I dropped her off at her apartment and I gave her kiss before she got out of the car, she walked into her apartment. I'll see her later tonight.

Skip Ahead To The Interview Because I Don't Have Time For This.

"Are you excited for tour?"

Billie: "Yes and no, I love touring and I love seeing all of you, but I hate leaving the people that I care about, because I can't talk to them everyday like I do now. There's one person, it's going to drive me crazy not talking to her everyday."

"If you knew that all the shit that happened to you, was gonna happen before it happened, would you still do it?"

Billie: "Yes, because everything happens for a reason and to get where I am today, I had to go through all of that, and I'm extremely happy right now."

"@madisonvoyage asks, how do you feel about that Maddie girl you've been hanging around?"

Billie: "She asked a question! That's sick, um I feel this and that about her, nah I'm joking, I enjoy spending time with her, she's hands down the funniest person I know. She can dress, like nobody's business, she has amazing personality and I am extremely extremely proud of her and everything that she accomplished."

"How often do you and the squad play hide and seek?"

Billie: "Not as often as we used to, before you assume, we're all still cool, we're all just so busy doing things for our career. Maddie's doing everything that you can think of, Dani's touring too, I'm about to tour, the twins are modeling right now. But we're all gonna see each other tonight for Maddie's launch party."

They just kept asking me questions and the time went by hella fast, they were all questions I've answered before. But this interview low-key got me sad as hell, I leave for tour in ten days. I still have no clue what I'm going to do about Maddie, I have to go back to my place, then to hers, then to her event.

I'm excited to go to her event, I'm hoping that'll make her happy and it will take my mind off everything that she told me.

I got into my car and I drove back to my place, I was in downtown L.A. I was closer to Maddie's than I was my house. I decided to FaceTime her.

FaceTiming Shorty❤️

Maddie: "Hello?"

I looked at the screen, to see her hair in a slick back bun, she also had a gold chunky ass necklace on too.

Billie: "Hello."

Maddie: "How'd your interview go?" I looked at the screen again and she smiled.

Billie: "I saw you asked a question."

Maddie: "Mhm, did you answer it?"

Billie: "Yeah, I said I didn't like you."

Maddie: "I smell cap, you love me."

Billie: "Nah, I'm just playing, I didn't say that, you'll have to wait and see what I said."

Maddie: "When will you be here?"

Billie: "I'm driving past your place right now, but I still have to go back to my place and get my outfit."

Maddie: "What color is your outfit?"

Billie: "Blue and white, why?"

Maddie: "We do not match at all."

Billie: "You won't tell me what you're wearing."

Maddie: "Right, anyways, see you when you get here, I love you."

Billie: "I love you too shorty, bye."

Call Ended.

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i love writing billie's pov, like i like it so much better, it's less problematic. lmaooo

thanks ily

words: 1063