Our Time (BILLIE EILISH)

- O n e h un d r e d & t h r e e -

I smiled at the comments, then I got ready to hang out with Nicole. Whenever Nicole and I hang out, it's always a lot of fun. Nicole isn't like rich, so like her activities are more planned. Not that Billie's weren't, but she's more... adventurous I guess.

Let me catch you up, Nicole and I aren't dating. You might not believe that, others might not. But Nicole's just being there for me. I know what you're thinking, you think because I broke up with Billie or whatever. I'm not hurt, bitch yes I am. I told Billie what I've been through and she lied to me. If she would've sat me down and said hey I had the temptation to kiss this bitch, yea I'd be mad but I would hear her out and understand her. But she hid the truth, that's not going to fly with me.

I was getting ready to go, but it all hit me while I was getting ready. I was looking at my bed, trying to figure out what I have forgotten. When I looked at my bed all I saw was Billie and I, the night that I cried to her. That was before I told her I loved her, even though I've loved her since the second I met her. I fucked up didn't I?

If Billie and I don't get back together, no one and I mean no one will ever be there like she was there for me. No matter what bullshit I had going on she was there and she wouldn't question it. She told me that she was going to heal me, don't get me wrong I will never be healed. The shit I went through can't be taken away just because a person finally cares about me, because what's stopping her from leaving? If I was her, or if I was Nicole. I would've left my ass the second I could. I didn't put Nicole through anything, she put me through the shit and then I put Billie through shit. It's a train, now Billie's going to put her next person through shit because I fucked her up.

Oh no, did I fuck her up? Or course I did, Billie was doing so well before she met me. Ever since that day, I feel like I was above everything else for her. But really, that wasn't meant to happen. I was never planning on going out with her, I'm really glad it happened but that was never my true intention. Then my dumbass kissed her, and yeah.

I wanted to be done with my thoughts and then I looked over at the table my vanity and saw all her hoodies stacked up and neatly folded. Then theres one that was clearly thrown over there, I think the night I broke up with her, that's when I thew it.

I looked at my phone to see my background, this bitch is everywhere. I'm not gonna change it though, I needed to look at the time. It was almost time for Nicole to come and get me, I saw the date and I realized I had to film too. I have all the video ideas planned and I have a meeting with YouTube next week.

I wore an all black "baddie" outfit because I guess thats really my brand now. As I was putting my phone in my pocket there was a knock on the door. I rush down the stairs and I open the door to reveal Nicole.

Nicole: "Hey mamas, how are you holding up?"

Horrible.

Maddie: "I'm doing okay, what are we doing today?"

Nicole: "We're going to go to a park and then, we're going to get food. Then a movie."

Maddie: "What movie?"

Nicole: "47 meters down."

Maddie: "I already saw it." I laughed.

Nicole: "Of course you did, it's cool we can do something else."

Maddie: "I don't have all day, I have to film and I have a shoot tomorrow."

Nicole: "Well then we better get going."

She laced our hands together and pulled me to the car, I laughed at her. She has a nice ass car, like she might not be rich but damn her car is saying something else. But there isn't one car that's sexier than Billie's. Just gonna put that out there real quick.

Nicole had her hand on my thigh as she drove to a park that was probably like twenty minutes away. I was texting Kenzie almost the whole way there.

Kenzie

What the fuck, you're telling me you did all this work. To not go on tour with her? Maddie, I really thought you were smarter than this. God damn it!

I really don't see what the big deal is, like I have three months off.

Nope, that's not what's happening now.

what the fuck do you mean?

Maddie, you have worked way too hard to make sure that you can go on tour with her, you guys better figure this out because I swear to god Maddie. Your career is at stake if you don't go with her.

can't we just plan like another trip or something?

A four month trip?

                                                                                                                                                                                               🙄

Figure it out, I'm being so serious.

Read at 4:12PM

Nicole: "You good over there Maddie?"

Maddie: "No, Kenzie's being a bitch because I'm not going on tour with Billie so basically I'm not getting the four month break I deserve."

Nicole: "We could go on a trip, but there's something that I have to tell you."

...

Billie's POV:

Today, I liked Maddie's Instagram post. Claudia showed me the PR, I didn't tell Claudia that Maddie broke up with me. She heard when I was talking to Finneas the other night, her clothing line is fire.

It really fucking hit me the future that she has ahead of her, I was kind of handed what I have. Like don't get me wrong I work hard as hell, like I was just able to sing. But Maddie on the other hand, she works for everything that she has, she was nothing at a point but like so was I. Maddie's working with Calvin Klein, she a whole line with prettylittlething. She has a YouTube channel with 4 million subscribers now, Maddie wasn't handed anything. Her families shitty and look at her now, doing better than ever.

What also hit me is that she broke up with me, she's not going to be affected career wise. If anything she's going to work harder than ever to keep her mind off of me.

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y'all this book is so shitty currently but i promise it gets better.

thanks ily

words: 1116.