Not Out

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Blaine lay in his bed, fully awake at three a.m., crying and cuddling a pillow that he had sprayed with a random cologne he never used. It was the closest he was gonna get to actually cuddling with a boy. And it gave him comfort.

Blaine had known he was gay since eighth grade. He is now a junior in high school and he is as lonely and sad as ever. He lies awake at night, thinking and dreaming of a future where he's out and proud and has a gorgeous and caring boyfriend and a loving and accepting family. But sadly, that isn't the case.

Instead, he lives a life closeted, with a highly homophobic family and one gay friend who he had a massive crush on. Kurt Hummel.

Now Kurt was a very out and proud kid, which Blaine envied with all his heart. Why couldn't he just be out and happy like Kurt was? Why was he not brave enough?

Blaine soon fell asleep, the soft tears that had dripped down his cheeks dried as he slept.

_______

Meanwhile, in the next dorm over, Kurt was also awake. He was tossing and turning in his bed, anxious about what was going to happen tomorrow. He was going to tell Blaine that he liked him.

He wasn't one hundred percent sure Blaine was gay or even bisexual, but it was worth a shot. And if Blaine said no, Kurt could maybe finally move on from the crush he's had on Blaine since they met two years ago on the dalton staircase.

But Kurt had worked up a plan. He would tell Blaine to meet him on the staircase after school and that's where he would tell him.

Soon, Kurt fell asleep, smiling at the thought that hopefully this time tomorrow, he would have a boyfriend.

_______

The next afternoon, Blaine was walking down the staircase towards the adorably giddy boy standing at the bottom of the stairs.

Blaine stopped in front of him and giggled softly "what are you all giddy about?" He smiles.

Kurt blushed and gently took Blaine's hands in his own, looking up at him.

Blaine didn't think anything of this action because they were always kinda affectionate and touchy. He just smiled and looked into Kurt's sparkly blue eyes.

Kurt bashfully looked down and then back up at Blaine "Well, Blaine, I've been wanting to kind of tell you this for a while.... and I've been putting it off because to be honest I've been a little scared." Kurt paused, looking into Blaine's eyes.

Blaine sweetly squeezed Kurt's hands "go ahead, I'm listening. There's no need to be scared. Nothing you could say could freak me out that much. Unless you said you had like twelve belly buttons. That would be kind of freaky but I know you don't have twelve belly buttons so we should be okay." He giggles.

Kurt laughed a little, smiling at Blaine's goofy giggle. "No, that's not it..." he paused and took a breath, collecting his thoughts. "I... like you." He breathes out kind of softly, looking down, not wanting to see Blaine's reaction in case it was a bad one.

Blaine gasped a tiny bit and took his hands out of Kurt's hands "I-I have to go..." Blaine whispers. He runs off to the bathroom down the hall, sobbing the entire way there.

'How could someone know he was gay? Was it that obvious? Do his parents know? Does anyone else know?' He questioned in his head.

He went into a stall at the end of the bathroom, locking it and sliding down the wall, sitting once he reached the floor.

"How could I have been so stupid." Blaine sobs softly, running his hands through his hair anxiously. Thousands of thoughts spinning through his head.

Then he heard the door open.

"Blaine, I'm so sorry, please please don't be mad or freaked out. I'm sorry I assumed anything." Kurt said. Blaine could hear the soft cracks in Kurt's voice and that broke his heart.

"No, Kurt, I-I'm not mad. I just.... I didn't know you knew I was gay...." Blaine said in the quietest voice ever.

Kurt walked over to the stall where he saw Blaine sitting "will you please let me in?" He asked softly.

Blaine got up and unlocked the stall door. Kurt threw his arms around Blaine, embracing him tightly.

Blaine cried quietly into Kurt's shoulder while Kurt softly rubbed his back and whispered soft 'it's okay's'.

Blaine pulled away after a few minutes and gently kissed Kurt.

Kurt kissed him back sweetly, pulling away a few seconds later to see Blaine with wide eyes and a cute beaming smile.

Blaine giggles "Kurt, guess what?" He says softly.

Kurt smiles, holding Blaine's hands again "what?" He muses.

Blaine blushes "I'm gay." He says almost in a whisper.

Kurt giggles and hugs him again "I'm so proud of you, Blaine." He says sweetly.

Blaine was a little in dream land "I've never actually said that out loud before." He giggles "it feels good." He beams "I'm gay." He says again, still quite flabbergasted by the whole situation.

Kurt giggles "it just feels right, doesn't it?" He says, to which Blaine nods, giving Kurt the biggest smile possible.

Kurt giggles "okay, can we leave this bathroom now? It kinda smells like weed in here."

Blaine nods and softly holds Kurt's hand, walking out of the bathroom and up to their dorms. "Would you like to come study with me for the physics test tomorrow?" Blaine smiles. "And you know by study, I totally mean watch Disney movies and sing like dorks the whole time and eat some popcorn." He giggles.

Kurt smiles "I'd love to, Blaine." He giggles, gently kissing Blaine's cheek. Blaine blushed brightly and walks into his dorm, Kurt following behind him.

The two boys cuddled closely and watched Disney movies until it was curfew and Kurt had to go back to his dorm.

"I'll see you tomorrow." Blaine smiles and Kurt kisses him softly "see you tomorrow, cutie. I'm so proud of you for what you did today. You are amazing. Goodnight." Kurt giggles.

Blaine blushed and hugged Kurt goodbye and then went to bed, the first night in a while that he felt content and happy.

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