Started: 24th November 2020
One shots about you and James Buchanan Barnes - if you can't tell, I love him and he deserves more appreciation
Anyways, there will be swearing because it's me and this contains a lot of smut :)
I have an unhealthy obses...
Sorry lmao I say thatall the time and it annoys the hell out of my friends
Word Count:1039
It was a quiet and peaceful day with Bucky, the two of you were sat together on the sofa, when you heard the doorbell ring
As you were cuddled into him, you groaned when he moved, but he just chuckled and moved the hair out of your face "I gotta answer the door, doll"
"Do you have to?" You said, trying to get closer to him, but he gently shoved you off as he stood up
"It might be important, Y/N"
He stroked your head and walked to the front door, opening it and finding himself face to face with a sinister looking soldier, who said "Are you James Buchanan Barnes?"
Once Bucky nodded and confirmed who he was, the soldier shoved a letter into his hands and walked away, leaving Bucky standing there confused and saying thanks to the door
He decided to open the tightly sealed envelope with his name on it on his way back to you
"Who was it, Buck?" You called out, but when he got to the living room door, he started to read it "It was this sol-"
When he read the mystery letter, he couldn't speak anymore
His face went white and he almost collapsed- he had to hold onto the wall for support. His breathing got much heavier and his eyes went wide out of fear. He felt his whole body go numb and he went extremely lightheaded
You were scared to read that letter, as Bucky was clearly absolutely terrified
From this, you stood up immediately and walked over to him with furrowed eyebrows
"Y/N, I need you to remember that I love you. I love you so much" he said this to you when looking you in the eye with tears flooding his own and rolling down his cheeks as he still held himself up with the wall and his voice shook as he spoke
"Bucky, what's going on" you said, but it came out more like a command than a question
His whole body was shaking as he handed you the piece of paper, making you even more fearful to read it
Your eyes scanned the page as he watched you intently read that he had in fact been drafted
"Oh my God. James... I'm so sorry, I-" you started, tears now forming in your own eyes, but Bucky couldn't control himself
"No, Y/N. I'm the one who has to be sorry, and I am, I am so sorry about this, and-"
You stopped his voice, but you didn't stop his tears "Bucky, this isn't your fault, okay? You don't have to be sorry for anything"
"Yeah but I am. I'm so sorry for letting this happen. I'm sorry that I- I... I... "
That was when he really started to cry- he tried to look the other way in an attempt to hide his tears from you, but it failed horribly, as you had to hold him up against the wall to stop him from collapsing
You hugged him so tightly that you were surprised he could even breathe, but he was so distraught that he didn't care if he couldn't
To see him like this broke your heart even more, so you just held each other and cried into each other's shoulders- Bucky more than you
You felt his body shake from his strangled sobs, as he buried his head further into you, messing up his hair
You didn't know what to do- this was the biggest thing that has ever happened to both of you and never in a million years would you have thought that Bucky would be forced to fight in a war
He was so scared that he looked like a little lost puppy, making you stroke his head and play with his hair
You hoped that this would comfort him, and when his sobbing slowed significantly from the feeling of you being there for him, you smiled the best you could at him
A pained and weak smile was given to you in response, but all you heard come from him was "I'm sorry" and "I love you", making him sound like a broken record
"James... " You said, making him look at you with concern "Yeah?" he whispered
"Come back to me... Please" you said quietly, as you put your forehead on his, making him close his eyes again
More tears fell from his eyes as he put his hand on your cheek and stoked it with his thumb
At the same time, you both tilted your head back so that your lips connected slowly
Your fingers were tangled in his shirt hair and his other hand snaked around your waist
The intimacy in the room surrounding the pair of you was incredible- you wanted to make the most of this moment, because it might be the last one you ever have like this with him
You desperately didn't want to lose him, and he desperately didn't want to go, but you both knew that he had to- he was being forced to, and you hated it
He didn't know what he would do without you, and you the same with him, so neither of you knew what he was going to do when he was taken away from you
The worst thing is, you didn't know when he would be back- he was seriously doubting his survival, so it could potentially be never
"Ill try, doll, I really will. Trust me" he said once the kiss had been broken with his arm still around your waist "But please could you do something for me?" he said, his voice shaky
You tilted your head to the side and smiled weakly "Anything, Bucky"
You were trying to reassure him that you loved him, and were showing him how much he meant to you
He sighed and looked straight into your eyes, making you see the pain and fear in them before whispering something that broke your heart even further
"Please don't forget about me"
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