Bucky Barnes One Shots - EDITING

55. Anxiety

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Word Count: 1977

You had known Bucky for as long as you can remember, but you had only recently discovered that he had frequent anxiety attacks

They weren't as severe as the ones that Tony used to have after The Battle of New York, but they were still attacks

He was so good at hiding them that he had been suffering in silence because he didn't want to bother anyone with his problems

But he didn't know that you wanted to be bothered, you wanted to help him, but he kept telling himself that no one cared

When you eventually did find out about this, it was by a mistake that Bucky made:

You and the other Avengers were all sat, talking calmly between yourselves until Bucky awkwardly excused himself from the group to put a mug in the kitchen sink, ready to be washed

At first you thought nothing of it, but when you saw him bring his right arm up to dry his eyes, you knew immediately that something was wrong

It was like he could feel your eyes burning into him, so he turned around, accidentally making direct eye contact with you

He broke it quickly and looked away at the floor before speeding off to his room

You were extremely concerned about him, so you quickly got up and followed him, earning a few weird looks from the others

By the time you got to the door, Bucky was nowhere in sight, so you just made your own way to his room- as you knew that's where he'd be

Once you got there, you were about to knock on the door, but you paused suddenly as you heard heavy breathing and strangled crying coming from the other side - it sounded like he heard you outside and was trying his best to cry as quietly as he can

Your heart broke into 3000 pieces as you heard him sigh, but when you heard a bang come from his room, you decided to finally knock on the door "Bucky? Bucky, are you okay?"

After a sniffle, the door opened and straight away, you wrapped your arms around him, giving him a hug

When he didn't hug back you felt a hit awkward, so you broke away from him and looked at him "Sorry, I-"

You were surprised when he grabbed you and wrapped his own arms around your waist so tightly that it was like his life depended on it

You could feel his body trembling against yours, making him look vulnerable, but you swore you were going to make him feel better

As he did this, you looked behind him and noticed a hole in the wall, making you sigh

You weren't going to say anything yet - you were just going to let him cry into your shoulder for as long as he needed to

It was rare that Bucky let someone see him shed just a single tear, so the fact that they were pouring out of his eyes told you that he really needed someone to look after him, and he chose you

A few minutes later, he seemed to be calming down, so you unravelled yourself from him and put your hand on his cheek "Are you okay?" You asked for the second time

He shook his head and looked directly into your eyes "Just- just a little attack, y'know, anxiety or something- it's fine, I get these all the time" he breathed out, trying to reassure you he was fine despite saying he wasn't