ᴀɴᴀꜱᴛᴀꜱɪᴀ ꨄ︎

ᴍᴇꜱꜱ

Slash's pov:

I'd seen it all.I saw her at the last Guns concert being dragged away,I saw her at the premiere high off her mind shouting at me and everyone else around her.I saw her during the movie as I sat behind her and watched her confess her love to Gilby and it hurt.I saw her arguing at Edens party with her two best friends as she was drinking all night and then I saw her leave with Gilby.I finally saw her jump off a roof into a pool at a party and I'd had enough.

I'd basically sat back and watched Anastasia destroy herself,push away everyone who wanted to help her and rely on f*cking Gilby for everything.I couldn't help her,I didn't know what to do,every time we spoke it erupted into an argument.She was a mess,always so irate and on some sort of drugs,she'd became a complete pain in mine and everyone else's ass that I considered just letting her get on with it.

But no matter how hard I tried,I always found myself running back to help her,I just knew one day I'd be there to save her I just didn't expect that day to come so soon.

I'd spent the days leading up to the premiere interviewing and just hanging around with different ex-rockstars to try and form my own band.I came up with a name and the constant reminder,in magazines and on MTV of Anastasia,
who had become almost notorious with press,gave me the idea to take up songwriting again.

I quit writing songs a long time ago,when I lost my muse,or more when my muse walked out on me.But all my previous songs were a hit and they were also about Ana,so I did it again.This time it was less discrete than 'Rocket Queen' or 'You could be mine' as the song was actually called 'Anastasia' I wrote some extended solos for myself and just needed to find someone to sing it.
I confided in my friend,Myles Kennedy,who came into the recording studio with me,sang the song just how I imagined and did a demo tape that I kept for myself for future.

The day of the Terminator 2,movie premiere rolled around and I dressed myself in a tux ready to walk the red carpet,I didn't bring a date,simply because I didn't want too,I had hookups but I was in no way ready for a serious relationship again.
Anastasia looked amazing,even on drugs she was still a mess but a hot mess.I'd never seen her act like that,must've been some hard coke to make her go so crazy.I had paparazzi all down the red carpet only asking about her,it was as if she was almost haunting me.The constant reminder of her meant I could never get away from it.

I just remember so vividly the way her face dropped when I broke the news about Yvonne and Gilby but she was in denial.I couldn't believe she didn't believe me!Gilby had really f*cked her up,to the point where she was turning against her own friends and me.

I also remember the face she made after that when she told me she thought she was pregnant. That shattered me,to the point where I didn't sleep at all.The thought of her being pregnant and with Gilby while he had someone else pregnant too made me physically sick.I lost hope after that.

I went home for a couple days,to my mom who was flying all over the world as David Bowies stylist and I told her everything.I even played her the demo tape of my song.

"Do you love this girl?"My mom asked deeply.

"sometimes."I shrugged not taking it seriously.

"honestly?"My mom said.

"obviously,I love her."I said rolling my eyes.

"then you better go get her,help her and I'll see you two at Christmas."My mom advised me as the pressure was all on me.

It was still November,Edens birthday party was the day I flew back to La.I made a quick stop at a toy store and brought my goddaughter a dollhouse.I wasn't invited to the party but I didn't care,Erin didn't scare me and I doubted Axl would even be there.