Ten Sins || #Wattys2015

Chapter 195

I have died every day waiting for you…

Rebecca's POV

I tightened my grip on my pillow as I layed on my side in bed, listening to the soft sound of the rain outside the window. I had turned the lights off and locked the door. I even told Zayn and Louis not to enter, because I needed some privacy.

Darkness can be your best friend at those kind of times. When you just want to think. When you just want to cry. When you just want to be alone. Darkness is the best option.

A lightning that came with a loud thunder entered momentarily my room before it dissapeared, the rain falling harder. The sound of the droplets crashing against the window was calming. My heartbeat was slow, too slow. It was hard to breathe. It was hard to think of anything else than him.

It's not fair for me and my friends. He's done so many things to all of us..and I still have feelings for him..If it was for someone else, I wouldn't even think twice, I would've just taken him out of my life for good, without regretting it, but it's not the same with Harry.

You can't just rip out a piece of your heart and hide it in the darkness. You can't just pretend like you don't need him when you actually do. I hate him for doing this to me, but my love is much stronger than the hate.

I came to learn some important things from life, though. That love is the only thing that matters in this world. That love is the only thing that can crash you down, but make you rise up again. That friends are always needed. That being in love with someone means you need to take risks and face the consequences. That if you don't risk, you don't live. That if you don't try, you're not worth it. That if you don't try, you'll never know. That if you don't feel like you need it, then you won't ever have it. That if you're strong enough, you will always succeed. That when you lose something, then you realise how special it was. That being weak, means you're the target. But never doubt that a weak person, can become the strongest of them all.

That's what happened to me after I met Harry. Even though I came to feel the worst things in this world, I grew stronger and stronger. And now here I am, after all this time, still breathing, still living, still hoping, still trying.

And still loving him.

I hid my face in the pillow, taking in Zayn's scent. He slept in the same bed as me last night, and his cologne is overwhelming. I closed my eyes and tried to sleep, because I haven't slept in three days and I feel exhausted.

But then, something flashed behind my eyes.

The memory of me in Ashton's Jeep, crying and sobbing, my skin covered in dirt and my hair messy as I drove back to town. My stomach churned at that memory. That was when Harry and I had gotten rid of Louis's demon and Harry sent me home..and then I realised that I love him.

I furrowed my brows and kept my eyes shut, seeing then the other car crashing against mine. I saw my body moving forward and breaking the glass, making it cut my skin and blood to run out of the wounds. My body literally got out of the car at the force and landed on the hard ground, bleeding and unconscious. The man that was driving the other car was bleeding in his seat, a wound around his forehead.

Why am I seeing this?

The scene changed into another place. I see a big building and a car parked in front of it, which I immidiately recognised. It's Harry's old car. He suddenly jumped out of the car, his skin dirty just like it was mine, sweat making his hair look darker as he walked over to the entrance of the building and pressed a button.

A woman's voice came out of the speaker, “hello?”.

“Open the door.” Harry demanded and the door opened.