Ten Sins || #Wattys2015

Chapter 155

Rebecca's POV:

It was such a relief to finally say those words out loud, after all this time of hiding them and locking them inside of me. It was as if my heart gained wings and she was now ready to fly. But, she was too broken to do it. Despite how relieved and happy I was that I confessed Harry my love, I was still hurting and dying inside. There was a strong ball of overwhelming mixed emotions inside of me which were fighting to take control of my body.

His reaction was telling me a lot. He was scared as he stared at me with wild, green, puffy eyes, full of emotion and hurt as they stared back at me. His arms tensed as he still held tightly the doorknob, vains bulging out beneath his skin. He was shocked, frozen. My heart was shaking as I waited to hear what he has to say and the seconds of silence that passed seemed like ages to me.

“No...” he mumbled, shaking slowly his head. My brows pulled low as I stared at him with watery eyes. “No..you d-don't love me...”

“Yes, yes I do love you, more than anything else, Harry,” I nodded repeatedly, taking two steps closer, my voice small.

“No, you don't, Rebecca!” he insisted, raising his voice. “You don't—you can't!” he claimed before running a hand through his hair.

“Why not?” I sniffled.

“Because I-I'm not worth it! I don't deserve your love, Rebecca.” he said sadly, scratching my heart with his words. “You don't love me. You can't love the person that hurts you. And you will soon realize that, when I'm gone.” he looked down, pressing his lips tightly.

“No. You're wrong. You can love the person that has hurt you, that's what makes love so special.” I mumbled, fidgeting with my fingers.

“This is...” he started, shaking his head.

“This is what?” I asked, fighting the urge to take some steps closer.

“Nothing,” he looked up at me. “You just don't get how much it hurts to see you suffering because of me. I can't do this anymore, Rebecca.” his words were like sharp knifes that stabbed my heart.

“No Harry. If you leave, then I'm going to suffer every second that I will spend away from you.” my voice cracked at the end.

He gave me another pained look before moving his gaze elsewhere, as if staring at me only made it diffuclt. He looked awkward and still scared as he stood by the door, his whole body tensing.

“I...” he started, shaking his head. “I-I can't, Rebecca. I can't..” he murmured and suddenly opened the door and left the room, knocking all the oxygen out of my lungs.

I gasped for air and fell my knees weak, as if my body was surrending to the pain my soul carried. My body hit the ground with a thud and I felt as if the world around me was fading. I sobbed as more, salty tears streamed down my face.

It was horrible; the pain was indescribable, worse than dying. I would prefer to actually die than feel like this. Feel so...empty. So lonely. So helpless. So weak. So hurt. So broken. I was literally losing everything. Without Harry, my life is pointless.

How could he just shut me out? After everything? After how much we tried? All these fights, these tears, these painful moments, didn't they mean anything to him? And his promises; oh, his promises...all these words he said, they could've just been lies.

But were they really lies?

No. I don't think Harry was lying to me this whole time. He always fought to get me back when he hurt me, why did he have to change everything now? And I was always fighting to bring us together, why couldn't he see that, to make this work, we both have to fight?