Spider-Son One Shots

One Jump Ahead

For
RavenIsWriting

**kinda hilarious**

"Spider-Man, in trouble again?" The civilian asked raising an eyebrow.

"You're only in trouble if you get caught," Spider-Man said before Tony Stark grabbed his collar. "I'm in trouble."

That's when a mechanical spider jumped down from her hiding place to surprise Tony, making him let go of Spider-Man. "Perfect timing, KAREN, as usual. Come on, let's get out of here."

Spider-Man ran straight into Captain America. Spider-Man jumped back as Captain America swung his shield. "Gotta keep one jump ahead of the bread line. One swing ahead of the shield. I steal only what I can't afford. That's everything!"

Spider-Man then battled Black Widow who kept trying to shoot him. "One jump ahead of the law women. That's all, and that's no joke. These guys don't appreciate I'm broke!" 

"Rift raft!"

"Street rat!"

"Scoundrel!"

"Take that!" Hawkeye yelled shooting arrows.

"Just a little snack, guys!" Spider-Man said taking care of Black Widow and Hawkeye. Spider-Man even got Clint's bow.

"Rip him open!" Black Widow yelled angrily.

"Take it back, guys!" Hawkeye whined wanting his bow back.

"I can take a hint, gotta face the facts! You're my only friend, KAREN," Spider-Man swung away.

"Oh, it looks like Spider-Man's hit the bottom!" Some civilians girls chided at Spider-Man who landed on the ground. They continued making fun of him until the chaperone showed up. "I'd blame parents, but he hasn't got 'em."

"Gotta steal to eat, gotta eat to live. Tell you all about it when I got the time!" Spider-Man sang as Scarlett Witch threw objects at him. Spider-Man swung away faster than she could run.

"One jump ahead of the slow pokes," Spider-Man out ran the Falcon and the Blank Panther. "One skip ahead of my doom! Next time gonna use an nom de plume."

Spider-Man started fighting Bucky while singing. "One jump ahead of the hit men. One hit ahead of the flock! I think I'll take a swing around the block!" 

Spider-Man swung around but KAREN disappeared from his shoulder. Hearing the civilians below, Spider-Man understood.

"Stop, thief!"

"Vandel!"

"KAR-EN!"

"Scandal..."

The Avengers surrounded Spider-Man who just kept singing. "Now let's not be to hasty!"

Deadpool stepped in and picked Spider-Man up bridal style. "Though I think he's rather tasty!"

Spider-Man shot a web up to get away from both his nightmares, fighting the Avengers and Deadpool liking him. "Gotta eat to live, got steal to eat, otherwise we'd get along!"

A chorus of "Wrong!" Came from the Avengers as the battle continued with Spider-Man singing and the Avengers calling him names.

"Here goes, better throw my hand in, wish me happy landing, all I have to do is jump!" Spider-Man jumped off the building leaving the tired Avengers.

"Did he just sing that song from Aladdin this entire battle?" Tony asked landing. The other Avengers started nodding putting together his " taunts" to the song, One Jump Ahead.

"That kid is joining the team."