Team Ten Imagines

Nathan Speiser- He's Gone👼🏼

I raced to the hospital, my heart pounding in my chest and my breath becoming shallow. Kade squeezed my hand as he parked the car. He grabbed my hand and we raced to the E.R. I ran to the desk. "Nathan Speiser, he's my boyfriend, I need to see him." I panted. Kade and Mackenzie came racing round the corner. "And Jake..Jake Paul." Kade said very out of breath. "Mr Paul had suffered minor injuries, but we just need him to sign his release papers before he can go." The Doctor said. To see Jake only had a few scrapes and bruises shows he was fine. Jake signed his papers and all 4 of us were led into a room, it was a little dark. Nathan was mess. His face covered in scrapes and bruises. "I am really sorry." The Doctor said tearfully. She was young, but so beautiful. She only looked early twenties. "It's up to you when his life support gets switched off." I nearly fell to the ground in shock. My boyfriend of 4 years was gone. I burst into tears, so did Kade and Mackenzie. Jake picked me up and sat me on his lap. I just sobbed. Nathan was gone. I didn't even get to say goodbye.

I stayed with him for as long as I could, but I understood that other people needed this room, Nathan wouldn't have wanted us to be selfish. When they switched it off, it was pure horrific. I felt like half of me was missing. My feelings were completely numb, it took us 2 and half months to tell the fans and when we did the outpouring of support and love was overwhelming. Someone set up a Just Giving page for his funereal and within 24 hours it had $500,000. I was gobsmacked.

We used the funding for his wake. We gathered thousands upon thousands of fans and we all released lanterns into the air- something we did every New Years Eve to make a wish.

The days rolled into weeks, weeks into months and what seemed like 2 days was suddenly a year. I opened up my Twitter.

'Gone, but never forgotten. I love you Nathan, spread your wings baby. 1 year☹️👼🏼❤️.' I hit Tweet and did several other posts.

Although, I will forever love Nathan. 3 years after his death, I met Jack. Jack is incredible, especially with our 2 year old Lillie.

I love Nathan and will do for the rest I my life, but his spirit will live on forever.