Zane & Xander

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A/N - this one is NOT fun...

This takes place in Delgado chapter 36 when Zane asks Chase and Izzy to step outside

TW for whole chapter ❤️

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Zane

"You're okay, I got you", I rubbed Alexander's back as he threw up again, the god-awful sound mixed in with his sobs, my blood boiling to an all time high, "right here".

"I'm not okay", he coughed, "I'm disgusting". Rage filled me at the sight of my brother, at the idea of him being jumped for the reason he was, the extent of his injuries right now.

"Don't ever say such a thing", I continued rubbing circles on his back while he coughed into the sink, "the only ones who are disgusting are the people who did this to you".

"No", his voice cracked, bringing a bloody and bruised hand up to his face to wipe one of his eyes, "I'm disgusting, I'm messed up- this is why. This is why I never wanted to come out".

I was watching him sink back into the shell he'd fought so fucking hard to crawl out of, it was as if he was slipping away from me more and more as the seconds went on.

"Look at me", my voice was just as close to breaking as his was, "Alexander, look at me". He continued to grip the sink, ragged breaths escaping him; he just gave me a small shake of the head which only had me squeezing his shoulder gently.

"I don't want to see you look at me like-", he cut himself off, exhaling slowly as his head bowed, I didn't dare stop rubbing his back in case he shut me out completely the second I lifted my hand.

"Like what, hm?", I kissed the top of his head, his wince filling me with pain, "talk to me- there's nothing you can't say to me".

"Like you're repulsed by me", he finally faced me, his almost completely swollen shut eye making me clench a fist at my side, "like you hate me as much as I hate myself". It was like someone had ripped my heart out of my chest and crushed it in their hand, then tried to shove it back in.

"I want you to listen to every single word I'm about to say to you, do you hear me?". I didn't intend for my voice to sound that stern, but the fact that my brother believed he was in the wrong here made me feel sick to my stomach, "you are my son. My pride and joy. And I know, I know you struggle to see yourself the same way that we all see you, but you are not disgusting, nor repulsive, and there is nothing you could ever do or say to me that would make me hate you. What happened to you and your boyfriend today is the only disgusting thing in this situation, and I will not rest until they're dead- nor will I rest until you can stand in front of the mirror and accept the person who is staring back at you".

He stood there, stunned, for a moment, his body still thrumming with what I assumed was both anxiety and anger; I had an overwhelming urge to just shield him away from everything that could potentially cause him harm.

I jumped when footsteps entered the room, Caleb holding a first aid kit and watching our brother with a cautious expression, one that quickly morphed into one of rage.

"Zane can get you cleaned up now, yeah?", he smiled weakly, squeezing Alexander's shoulder but lifting his hand when our brother flinched, the sight of that alone making the anger return tenfold.

"I'm sorry you had to pick me up", he muttered, keeping his eyes fixed on anything that wasn't ours.

"You must've had the sense knocked out of you if you think I'm taking an apology from you Xan", Caleb scoffed, moving positions so he was to my left, ducking slightly to see Alexander's face, "I can see in your eyes how much this has fucked you up, I'm not taking a fucking apology".

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