Venom // Natasha Romanoff

。139 。

"Forget it. It's no use." Wade waved them off. "These collars don't just come off."

"Don't be wanker, Wade." Nova scoffed. 

"No, Sweet Cheeks."

"Wade." Russell spoke up, holding up his prison shank. "I have an idea."

"No, no, no, no! Let's not do that. Please!" Wade mumbled.

"At least you don't have to touch it unlike the cocaine bag." Nova chuckled.

"Cocaine bag?" Natasha questioned quietly.

"That's a story for another day after lots and lots of alcohol." Nova replied.

"I'd rather die of cancer." Wade continued as Russell tried to take the collar off with the shank. "Let's just... Oh, God! They do say the pen is grosser than the sword." The collar buzzed as he took the cap off.

"We need the code." Russell stated.

"Try, uh, seven?" Domino guessed with a shrug.

"Settle down, Captain Lucky." Wade said. "It's not gonna be one number." The collar un-clicked as Russell pressed 7. "Oh, God, that's lazy writing."

"I still got it." Domino smiled as Russell dropped the collar and Wade stood up.

"Put that back in your prison wallet." He grunted. "I don't know how to thank you. But I do know how to hug you."

"No." Cable said.

"Yes." Wade argued. "Here we go. Bring it in. Come on. Pelvis to pelvis. Let's go tip to tip. There we go. The kids call this docking." There was a pause and the sound of a knife was heard. "Is there a knife in my dick?"

"There's a knife in your dick." Cable repeated.

"I'm just gonna back up now."

"Yeah, yeah."

"No need to go full Yentl. Gonna pretend like that never happened." Wade pulled away from the hug before Nova was pulling him in for one. "Wow! Okay! Venom, we going tip to tip now?"

"Shut up, testicle." Venom growled although tendrils wrapped around the mercenary.

"Aw, still so kind to me." Wade smiled as they pulled back and he turned to Russell. "Let's go him, Russell."

The family walked down the street and some little legs were pattering their way towards them. Natasha turned around as a small body collided with her leg. Looking down, she saw Ivy hugging her close.

"Hey, Ivy." Natasha smiled down at her.

"Thank you." Ivy whispered into her leg before Natasha was picking her up and placing her on her hip.

"That's no problem, sweetie." Natasha grinned.

"Who's this?" Nova asked with a smile as Ivy waved shyly at her.

"Ivy." Natasha stated.

"The author changed the name 'cause it's ironic." Wade spoke up.

"Sorry? Hm? Why's it ironic?" Nova asked.

"Show her how special you are, Ivy." Natasha whispered.

Ivy held out her hand, gently grabbing Nova's and letting vines crawl up the tall woman's arm, Nova gasping and looking at the little girl who grinned back at her, bashfully.

"That's amazing!" Nova gushed, feeling the vines on her hands.

"Who is this Nibble?" Venom growled, stretching his head from her shoulder and Ivy's eyes widened slowly at the alien.

"Nothing to be sc-" Natasha was cut off by Ivy giggling and reaching out towards Venom, patting his head gently as the alien grinned toothily. "Oh, that was easy."

"He's pretty." Ivy commented when tendrils scooped her up as she let out a supervised squeal when she was suddenly on Nova's shoulders, the tattooed woman glaring at Venom.

"You should've warned her." Nova mumbled to the alien.

"Sorry, Nibble." Venom growled apologetically, prodding his head into her leg as another apology.

"I like him." Ivy giggled, looking down at Nova who smiled up at her before grinning at Natasha who smiled back while Wade let out a squeal next to them.

"This is so great! I'm gonna be a goddaddy!" He squealed and sudden footsteps sounded and they turned to see the headmaster running out.

"All you dirty mutants are gonna rot in hell with the boy!" He yelled and Venom growled while Ivy continued to pay his head softly. "Your souls are beyond redemption!"

"Let's see your soul, perv!" Cable shouted, pulling out a knife. 

"No, no! No more! We're better than that!" Wade objected. "We're better than him! No more senseless violence! No more bloodshed! We'll let karma take care of him."

"The day of reckoning is here!" The headmaster yelled and suddenly a car went through a building, running him over as Venom covered Ivy's eyes.

"I'm gonna miss him. He seemed great." Wade spoke up. 

"Whoo!" Dopinder shouted, getting out of the taxi he used to kill the headmaster. "Courage, motherfuckers!"

"And karma, motherfucker." Domino commented.

"I could hear you coming the last 30 seconds. I could barely keep a straight face." Wade laughed.

"I want some more." Dopinder said darkly.

"I bet you do, Brown Panther." Wade chuckled.

"We should leave before Fuckernaut wakes up." Colossus stated before laughing cheekily.

"Good call. You guys coming with us?" Wade asked them.

"No, we'll get the kids back to the mansion." Negasonic smiled. "Besides, we're X-Men."

"No, you're X-People." Wade corrected, bopping her nose.

"You're X-Hausting." Negasonic shot back.

"I see what you did there. Puns." Wade replied.

"Do I have to go with them?" Ivy asked quietly.

"Do you want to?" Natasha questioned.

"Uh-uh." Ivy shook her head, holding onto Nova's head to keep her up on the tall woman's shoulders. "I wanna stay with you. I saw you on TV!"

"I could just eat you up!" Wade exclaimed and Ivy giggled.

"Bye, Wade!" Yukio waved.

"Bye, Yukio!" Wade replied, making a fluttering motion with his hands.

"What do you get when you take eight feet of chrome, once pinch of courage, a cup of good luck, a dab of racism, a splash of diabetes, a sprinkling of ginger, a bucket of human eating goo, a handful of great ass, a gallon of pornstar material, a tiny ounce of vines and a wheelbarrow full of stage four cancer? Answer: a family. See? I didn't lie what kind of film this was. If there's anything you take away today, other than the need to Google, 'What the fuck is dubstep?', it's that we all need to belong to someone."

{1437}