I Chose You- A Danisnotonfire / Dan Howell FanFic

Chapter 54: Jason

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"Hey!" Jason smiled as he entered Starbucks as I finished my shift. Zac gave me a look. Ever since Dan came to work Zac has been oh so quiet. Which was great!

"Hey, how's it going?" I handed him his order and he thanked me. We started aimlessly walking around London, and Jason suggested we had a meal because I was starving after hours of working, and I agreed.

"It's not a date, okay?" I laughed, and Jason nodded.

"Just friends, you're with Dan, right?"

"Exactly." I smiled. 

"I needed to talk to you about something, too. I haven't really told anyone about it, because they don't really...they wouldn't understand."

I frowned. "Seriously, what's up?"

He wouldn't tell me until we had finished our dinner, until a took his hand. "Jason, this is serious, isn't it? I've never seen you this...shy about something."

"I'm not shy...it's just a big deal, that's all."

"What is it?"

He sighed. "I...when you and I broke up...this isn't your fault in any way. Please just know that."

I got scared and felt my skin heat up. "What?"

He shrugged, looking down. "I...I got into stuff. Drugs....I didn't smoke it." He rolled his sleeve up and I gasped at the small dots up his arm. 

"Why?"

He shrugged again. "I don't really know. Smoking didn't really have that...hit on me anymore."

"Are you clean now?"

He nodded, face going emotionless in surprise. "Yeah, yeah. Sure. A little too late, but sure."

"What do you mean?"

He sighed. "I don't know when it happened or who it was...but..."

"Spit it out, Jason." I smirked, and the smile faded from my lips.

"I have HIV." He looked at me, peeking from under his lashes. "I'm HIV positive. I'm basically dying."

It felt as if every single worry I had in my brain, guilt on my shoulders...just tripled. Quadrupled. Quintupled. "Are you kidding me?"

Jason shook his head. "As soon as I got the news, I cleaned up. Got a job, stopped drugs. Well I had to, cause now I have to go to the hospital quite a bit. When I bumped into you...I knew that was a sign I had to fix things between us. Not romantically, of course I've been too scared to...you know, in case I ruin someone elses life."

My heart felt like it physically broke. This guy in front of me, counting the amount of days he had left on this Earth...my first love. Jason smirked as he reached over to wipe a tear that fell down my cheek.

"Don't cry. I didn't tell all of my old friends because...well I haven't told them cause they're still immature. Haven't gotten out of it yet, and me being HIV positive won't do fuck all to make a difference." He sighed. "Me and you had something more than I did with those people."

"How long have you got left?"

"I don't know. Maybe almost as you, maybe just a few years. I don't know."

I sighed. "I don't know how to...I'm sorry." I laughed awkwardly, and Jason chuckled.

"It's fine, I'm glad I got to finally tell you." He smiled. "My days are numbered, after all."

"Don't say that." I snapped, "I'll help you through this- doctors appointments, the works."

He shook his head. "You don't-"

"-I do." I squeezed his hand. "What have your parents said about it?"

"Well I moved out...and they don't know a thing."

"You should tell them."

"I can't. They didn't know I did drugs in the first place."

"Jason, what would they think if you just disappeared for no reason? That they might outlive you?"

Jason's face darkened. "They would kill me."

"They deserve to know."

"No. This is my choice." He asked for the bill and shoved some notes in the folder. I stood up quietly, heading for the exit. Rain had started to fall, and I ignored it as Jason caught up with me. 

"Lia, I told you this in the hope that you won't tell anyone. Nobody, okay? Don't tell your friends, your boyfriend, my parents, especially. Please, promise me this."

I sighed, looking at him. "Fine. But you've gotta tell your parents."

"No." He shrugged, and I sighed. 

"Walk me to my building?"

"Sure."

"I've learned London is pretty dangerous..." I sighed. Getting shot was an experience I didn't want to re-live.

"Yeah." He chuckled. When we reached my building I gave him a hug. 

"Text me or call me, yeah?" 

He nodded and turned away to leave. I entered my building and headed for the apartment. Phil opened it, and I smiled. 

"I need a shower, jeez I'm cold."

"Where's Dan?" Phil questioned, and I raised an eyebrow. 

"What?"

"He said he was going to pick you up from work, and when you two didn't show up I guessed you were at dinner or something..." 

I shook my head. "I met up with my friend. I didn't see him."

"Oh." Phil frowned, shutting the door behind me. "I'll give Dan a call to see where he is."

"Okay." I mumbled, shivering as I headed for the bathroom, hoping Dan hadn't seen me leave Starbucks with Jason.

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