I Chose You- A Danisnotonfire / Dan Howell FanFic

Chapter 4: Crushes

Yes yes, 'Zoe, it's your bedtime what are you doing on wattpad?' Well, I'm just too hipster for bedtimes....actually I get the impression that being 'hipster' is REALLY bad. I wear 'hipster' glasses, yet I actually need them to SEE. Someone help me here, hipster- yay or nay? If nay then I'm just going to bed right this instant.

PHIL POV

I heard a knock on the door, and assuming that this was Dan's friend, I opened it. I recognised her, it was difficult not to. Now I could place that beautiful, smiling face with a name. Jess. She held up her hand and I took it.

"Hey Jess, come on in. Sorry the place is a mess."

"It's not a problem. I don't mind helping out."

Dan came out of his room and smiled at Jess. "Hey, could you give us a hand with the TV? You're a girl, I'm guessing you're small enough to fit round it, right?"

"Sure." Jess mumbled and saw the lion I had placed on the top of all the boxes. "Nice lion." she giggled.

I liked her instantly, and when she left a few hours later I was sad to think that Dan had dibs on her, if he liked her in that way. Just before she left she asked us something, with an odd look on her face.

"Dan, Phil? How would you...get someone out of depression?"

Dan laughed. "I'm practically stuck there right now, so I can't really help with that, why?"

She sighed. "My sister is lost, I don't know. Thanks anyway." She headed out of the door and I gave Dan a curious look. He shrugged but I opened my door and ran after Jess.

"Jess! Why don't you erm, invite her over? I'm sure she might just need someone to vent to."

"She's 19. She won't want to hang out with 'Jess's new friends'" She quoted herself.

"Well, maybe if she knew we had a show on Radio 1 she might decide we're cool?"

"Trust me, she doesn't listen to Radio 1, but she has heard of you both."

"There you go then. We can go see a movie or...have lunch or something. Let us know."

Jess smiled and gave me a hug. "Thanks Phil."

I felt myself go hot. "It's no problem." I headed back to the apartment to tell Dan the news, but he was already in the shower.

DAN POV

I held the blade in between my fingers as the shower water shot onto my head, trailing down my body. No doubt Jess's sister was covered in marks made by these, and I knew if I started harming myself again Phil would be so upset. I put the blade away. Jess's sister needed someone like Phil. A best friend. Maybe a boyfriend who was a positive influence. 

I felt the pang in my heart as I thought about how lonely I was in the world. I hadn't had a girlfriend in a while, to which was my choice, but I guess it was taking its toll right now. Some days I'd be glad I was single, when Phil would come home after breaking up with someone or being broken up with, but those times when I see couples really happy together...I don't remember what that was like. Being able to cuddle up to a girl, kiss them whenever you wanted. I missed it.

When I got out of the shower, I decided to record a video. Not one I'd actually upload, because this was about depression. I sat down in front of my camera, not really sure on what to say.

"I...hate everything about myself. I don't know what I'm doing with my life." I just had a massive rant, and after I finished, I felt like a weight had been lifted off my shoulders. I wouldn't upload it, of course not, but I uploaded it to my computer and put it in the folder with all those videos that didn't make the cut onto my channel. 

Phil knocked on my door. "Fancy playing some Sonic?" 

I smirked, standing up. "Sure."

Things were looking up.

Ahh poor Dan! Don't worry though, keep reading on and things are definitely looking up for everyone ^_^

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