I can't do this anymore.
And no I'm not doing it for attention.
From the age of 13, I've battled depression, anxiety, panic attacks and suicidal thoughts.
I was bullied during my younger years. I was slightly chubby from the ages of 9-12.
After my 13th birthday, I lost a lot of weight, I was finally happy with my figure.
Everything settled.
I was happy, I had friends and I was weaning myself off the cocktail of meds I was on.
By my 15th birthday, I was only had panic attack medication and therapy once every 2 weeks.
I finally felt normal.
Then, I met a boy called Emilio Martinez on my 16th birthday. I'd flown out to L.A to visit my twin brothers- Ethan and Grayson Dolan in L.A and they introduced me to Jake Paul. I instantly clicked with Team 10, and extended my trip for an extra week. I loved L.A, Team 10 and I was already falling head over heels for Emilio. Everything was going swimmingly, I joined Team 10 as a talent member and I was official with Emilio. So, I decided to make a YouTube channel, I gained 3 million subscribers in 3 days. It was overwhelming yet so incredible. But, with 3 million subs comes hate. The hate triggered up my depression and I down railed from there.
I was suicidal again.
I am suicidal again.
I'm sat on the cold bathroom floor in Ethan and Grayson's place. I've come to stay for a little bit. Hot, salty tears raced down my cheeks as I sobbed. I was so done. The boys were out, so I took my chance. I grabbed my phone, purse and a jumper. I bolted.
**3 DAYS LATER**
Emilio:
We have been searching for Y/N for an entire 72 hours now, I am so fucking worried about her. She never does this, Grayson says he thinks she stopped taking her meds again, that's what made her bolt.
Y/N struggles to deal with hate, and takes all the comments to heart. To me, she's beautiful inside and out and we've been together 2 years and I adore her.
Jake:
We sat round the kitchen table and I quickly texted her again. 'Please tell us where you are.'
Y/N:
My phone buzzed and she looked down at me. "Tell them where you are, they'll understand." She said softly. I unlocked my phone.
Emi😍🌹:
Where are you?
You've been gone over 24 hours.
Ring me.
Text back.
I love you.
Please come back Y/N.
Or at least tell me you're safe.
Please, I fucking love you.
Jake💓:
Y/N where are you?
Are you okay?
We're worried about you.
We all love you.
Come home girlie.
Grayson🐵:
Y/N where are you?
Wtf??
Why is my razor on the bathroom floor?
Why haven't you taken your meds?
Please reply babe.
I love you.
Little sister....I fucking love you girl.
Ethan🐒:
Where the Fuck are you?
Has anyone hurt you?
Sis?
I love you, please come home.
Mumma💍:
Please come home baby girl. We love you more than anything. Please just tell us you're okay. Please, you know how much your Dad hated when you didn't tell us what was going on. Come home, for him. He loves you even if he's an angel now.
Nick:
Babe where are you?!
Come home!!!
Emilio hasn't stopped crying for the past 3 days.
We love you💓.
Tonerrrrr💪🏼:
Come home.
We love you unconditionally.
Chanceyyyy💋:
Please come home.
Rick👸🏽:
Come home babes, we love ya x
I locked my phone as I started to sob. Their was a knock on the door. "I'm sorry." She mumbled. Jake, Emilio, Grayson, Ethan and Mum burst through. Mum ran over to me and held me tightly as she sobbed. I started to cry as well. I hugged my brothers tightly. Then Jake. "I'm sorry." He said rocking me back and forth. I ran into Emilio's arms and he started to cry. I quickly pulled away. "I can't do this anymore. I'm sorry Emilio."
A/N: Woahhhh, cliffhangers are my fave ;)! Keep requests coming in x