There were days when I felt stupid and idiotic and childish. Where my school head flew out the window and I hung out with my friends not thinking about how I say or write things.
Other days I wrote with precision, spoke perfectly and never slipped up. Today was one of those days. I couldn't speak to Lily without fighting so I wrote her this letter.
I sat there in the morning writing it and writing it and it was okay. But then I'm the afternoon after my assembly and detention I re-wrote it to the exact right words I wanted to use.
Sunday night Lily was out and I was going out to meet Richard for the first time. I folded the paper three times and pinned it to her cork board on the door of her room then wrote "Lily" in my nice handwriting on the front.
"You think it'll work?" Richard asked me that night as I sat down in the pub with him to get food.
"I don't know." I mumbled telling him the contents of the letter. I told her about every last conversation we had when I lied to her, I told the truth. When I answered the phone when Richard was there and I lied.
I told her all about the Paris trip, the time I left her house early to go to Richards, every text, conversation or FaceTime we had I told her the truth behind it.
It was brutal and heartbreaking to write but she wanted the truth so I gave it to her.
"Things will sort themselves out. I promise Jen." Richard reassured me as we sat down together.
"I know, I know." I mumbled under my breath. I had been very quiet around Richard since the fight I didn't want any more arguments. "What I do want to know is why Oliver is so upset with me."
"Sorry?"
"Ollie ignored me for the past three meal times in the canteen. What did you two say to each other?" I shook my head kind of angrily.
"I didn't say anything to him." He shrugged.
"Richard."
"Alright, I told him to back off." Richard said.
"What?"
"He so obviously liked you. Or still likes you? I don't know but he had to go and i had to say something." Richard explained in a calm manner.
"He did not like me. We were friends, good friends actually and you could of liked him too if you gave him a chance." I complained shaking my head at him.
"I don't know."
"You will apologise to him for being wrong and then you'll make an effort to talk to him nicely whenever you may see him." I snapped.
"Whatever Jen, I'm hardly going to see him."
- - - - -
"Lil, what's this? It's Jenna's handwriting." Matt pointed out the note pinned to her door as Lily went to get a few drinks out of the fridge.
"I don't know what does it say?" She asked.
"It just says Lily on the front." Matt shrugged as she handed him a drink.
"Let's open it then." Lily smirked taking it off the board and going to the sofa with it in her hand.
"What does it say?" Matt asked as Lily skimmed the page.
"Something--"
"What?" He insisted.
"Something very important." Lily smiled down at the piece of paper and read through was a small smile on her face the entire time. She had finally got what she asked for.
- - - - -
When I got back that evening I saw Lily on the couch watching Tv. I noticed my note was on the coffee table in front of her and she was smiling for once.
"Hey." I said placing my bag down and threw my jacket on the side.
"I got your letter." Lily said her smile disappearing and I had an internal panic attack, did she hate it? Did it remind her of why she hates me so much?
"Right, about that--"
"It's not fair, you write so good." Lily smirked and my eyes widened as she spoke.
"Lil, I meant what I said in the letter. You may not want to be best friends but I need a friend at the very least. I can't stand not talking to you. And I am sorry Lil, I'm so sorry." I said sitting down next to her.
"I get why you might want to keep it a secret." Lily muttered suddenly.
"You do?"
"Yes but for the first month, not 4!" She lectured me.
"It got outta control." I breathed.
"I believe you. And I'm glad you told me the truth. About everything." She smiled at me for the first time in over 48 hours.
"I don't want to fight, and I know you don't." I hummed smiling back at her.
"I don't Jenna but I also don't want you to think you can do this again. It hurts when you keep things like this from me. I honestly though we were best friends but for a moment there, we weren't." Lily shook her head.
"I know, and I want to make it up to you I'm so sorry." I begged.
"Alright, come on. I think we both need some sleep." Lily smiled standing up.
- - - - -
"You're smiling, I haven't seen that in a while." Richard said to me as I met him Monday morning for coffee.
"It's Lily." I said sipping my coffee carefully as I looked over the cup at him.
"She's forcing you to smile?" He joked.
"No, we talked last night and I finally feel like we're getting somewhere. We're not quite the bestest of friends again but close." I smiled excitedly.
"Good, I'm glad." He smiled back at me. "So how is your week looking?"
"Uh I have classes and stuff all day Monday to Wednesday. I'm free evenings except Monday and Friday." I thought about it as I spoke.
"What you doing Friday night?" He asked.
"I promised to speak to my dad properly. Like on FaceTime, sit down chat with him about everything that's happened and of course now Lily knows I'll probably tell him about us etc." I explained.
"Ah and Monday is..."
"My appointment with Victoria." I sighed.
"How's Wednesday evening sound?" He asked.
"Great." I agreed, "I'm sorry this was short but i have to run." I grinned at Richard standing up.
"Don't work too hard, doctors orders." He pointed out nicely.
"I'm not trust me, I'm slacking." I laughed at him leaning in for a kiss and saying goodbye to Richard before we went our separate ways in town.
Sorry for more filler chapters! It will get more interesting I promise.