-
"Thank you, Captain Obvious."
-
"Okay, here we go. Time travel test number one." Bruce said after Nova had shooed Ivy away to her room until her surprise arrived and so she was safe. "Scott, fire up the, uh, the van thing"
Scott opened the doors to the van and a device was inside.
"Breakers are set. Emergency generators are on standby." Steve spoke up.
"Good, because if we blow the grid, I don't wanna lost, uh, Tiny here in the 1950s." Bruce mumbled.
"Excuse me?" Scott questioned worriedly.
"He's kidding." Natasha smiled, pressing buttons on a machine. "You can't say things like that."
"Jus- jus- It was a bad joke." Bruce stammered.
"You were kidding, right?" Natasha asked quietly.
"I have no idea. We're talking about time travel. Either it's all a joke, or none of it is." Bruce responded.
"Where's the racist when you need him." Nova muttered and Natasha chuckled, understanding the joke.
"Racist?" Steve quizzed, eyebrows raised.
"Cable. You met him. Winter soldier arm, voice like Thanos. A wet dream for girls with daddy issues. Or Wade's wet dream. God knows he's had too many of them." Nova mused with a shrug.
"We're good!" Bruce exclaimed, holding a thumb up and everyone turned to Scott with smiles. "Get your helmet on."
"Scott, I'm gonna send you back a week, let you walk around for an hour, then bring you back in 10 seconds. Make sense?" Bruce asked.
"Perfectly not confusing." Scott waved him off.
"Good luck, Scott. You got this." Steve encouraged.
"You're right. I do, Captain America." Scott smiled before he was sucked into the time machine.
"On a count of three. Three, two, one." Bruce counted down, pressing some buttons and the machine whirred again and Scott was back but younger.
"Uh, guys?" Scott questioned. "This doesn't feel right."
"What is this?" Steve quizzed.
"What's going on?" Bruce asked.
"Who is that?" Natasha questioned.
"I think it's Scott. Is it Scott? Are you Scott?" Nova asked quickly.
"Yes, it's Scott." He replied as though it were obvious before he was sucked back i Roy eh machine.
"What's going on, Bruce?" Natasha questioned as the machine spat out an old man.
"Oh, my back!" Old Scott exclaimed.
"What is this?" Steve asked.
"Hold on a second. Could I get a little space here?" Bruce asked.
"Yeah, yeah, yeah. Can you bring him back?" Steve inquired.
"I'm working on it." Bruce answered.
"This is not going well." Venom growled, watching the scene from Nova's shoulder.
"Thank you, Captain Obvious." Nova sighed.
"I was just saying what everyone was thinking." Venom stated.
"What d'you want, a fucking medal?" Nova asked.
Old Scott was sucked back into the he machine and a baby was spat out of it instead of normal Scott.
"It's a baby." Steve stated.
"It's Scott." Bruce gestured to the baby.
"As a baby." Steve argued.
"He'll grow." Bruce tried.
"Bring Scott back." Steve demanded.
"When I say kill the power, kill the power." Bruce ordered.
"Oh, my God." Natasha mumbled, moving to the power switch.
"And... kill it!" Bruce yelled and Natasha did as instructed and Scott was finally back to normal.
"Somebody peed my pants." Scott stated.
"Oh, thank God." Natasha sighed in relief.
"I think I just went through the five stages of grief." Nova face palmed.
"But I don't know if it was baby me or old me. Or just me me." Scott continued.
"Time travel!" Bruce shouted happily, holding his arms out and Nova chuckled while Steve sighed, shaking his head with closed eyes before starting to leave. "What? I see this as an absolute win."
"And Spongebob's gay!" A sudden voice yelled.
"Who's that?" Scott quizzed.
"Sugar Tits!" Nova shouted, running over to Wade who jumped at her, screaming childishly.
"Sweet Cheeks!" He basically screeched, wrapping his legs around her waist and arms around her neck and Nova luckily caught him by his thighs. "Oh, I missed you."
"You saw me last week. But me too." Nova smiled.
"Where's my little rotten dragon fruit?" Wade asked, referring to Ivy, using one of his very strange nicknames for her.
"Mama, Mummy! Can I come back in now? I'm boooorrred!" Ivy whined from the room.
"Yeah, come and see your surprise, petal." Nova replied and Ivy pushed the door open as Wade let go of Nova and crouched on the floor.
"Gonna rip this joggers if I slut drop anymore." Wade muttered as he squatted.
"Uncle Pool!" Ivy nearly screamed, sprinting towards the mercenary who opened his arms as she crashed into them.
"Hello, my little mouldy mango." Wade grinned.
"I will never understand those names." Natasha chuckled, leaning her head on Nova's chest.
"Best surprise ever!" Ivy giggled happily as Wad picked her up on his hip, walking towards everyone else.
"I know. I'm fabulous." He pretended to do a hair flip before Ivy slapped his bald head lightly, giggling. "I have been deeply offended by this child."
"You look like Dr. Evil." Ivy laughed, making the gesture on the corner of her mouth and Wade copied.
"When did she watch Austin Powers?" Natasha asked Nova hurriedly.
"I don't know and I'm scared."
{854}