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"my father, He left when i was 2, and uuhm my mom blamed me for it, and sometimes i do to." he stops and takes a sip of his beer and laughs short.

"and the sick thing is, I wanted her to love me" I look at him and he is so beautiful but so broken i can feel the warmth on my skin and its burning even more because i see Nikki is being real with me for the first time.

"i cut my own arm when one of her boyfriends, that was a different dude each week started to interfere into my life" i feel tears fill my eyes and i hold his hand and squeeze letting him know i want him to go on.

"You know Sophie i think God must hate me" he laughs.

"i don't know what i believe but its easier to think God made a mistake with me, you know i never felt the warmth i needed as a kid and i think, i know, that music is the way to fill that"  he looks at me and a tear escapes his green eyes.

"I party and have sex with everyone hoping one day, I'll find exactly what broke me."

"Nikki-" he cuts me of and laughs.

"My name is Frank Carlton Serafino Feranna " I look at him and wrap my arms around him, feeling his tears hitting my neck, not letting him go i hold him tighter and tighter.

"I wont say im sorry for you, because you hate that shitty feeling of somebody having pity. So I'll just say this. Listen to me" i say making him look at me.

"Life is war, and scars will fade Nikki even deep in the soul, all you need to know is. You're still here breathing and alive. You're going to fucking make it and I'm so proud of you Nikki" he looks at me and says.

"Say that again?" i look at him and say while holding his hands.

"I'm proud of you. im proud of the Frank Carlton Serafino Feranna and im even prouder of Nikki Sixx. I'm proud no matter what you will do, i'll always be your friend and support" he rolls his eyes and lays back in the grass.

"you ruined it by saying friend" i laugh and lay next to him being pulled in his arms and holding on to me.

"Mick was right." i frown and look at him.

"About?" i ask.

"of bringing you to that Fucking rehearsal." i laugh and so does he.

"This isn't right stop. its to heavy baby" i say imitering the girlfriend of Vince making us laugh and seeing the sky change into a nice summer evening with the orange sky and black-bleu clouds.

We walk back to his car hand and hand and when we get to the car he hugs me and says.

"I've never told anyone about my past, thanks for not judging me" i let him go and frown.

"ow you thought this was a free session?" Nikki hits my arm and we laugh, getting into the car and rolling down all the windows feeling the warm summer wind while we hold hands singing to Live wire.

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*I did not cry while writing this, i listen to the song 'God must hate me' its just a nice song to write to*



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