saudade | haikyuu oneshot ✔️

oikawa tooru | caught (request)

you started running the opposite direction from him before he could finish his sentence. you were scared of hearing the words that were going to leave his lips and needed some time to recollect your thoughts before rage and wretchedness overflowed inside you.

but you were roughly grabbed by your wrist by, the one and only, oikawa tooru.

"(y/n)-chan, i can explain!" he exclaimed, gripping onto your wrist tightly. his eyes were full of shame when you looked up at his attractive face.

you were rooted to the spot, the soft breeze moving your hair swiftly away from the cheekbone. 

"what is there to explain, tooru?" you quietly muttered. your chest tightened when you saw how stained his lips were with red lipstick.

"i did kiss her, but there was really nothing between us. she just wanted to see how it felt like to kiss someone because she's had no experience."

you were speechless at this point. you didn't care if it was the truth or not, you just wanted to go home and drink a cup of warm tea.

"tooru, i don't think i can do this anymore. let's just stop being together," you choked out as you gulped down a sob. you were trying to keep your composure, but your heart was breaking into little tiny pieces as you cried out the last word.

"(y/n)-chan i-"

"please, tooru, i've had enough."

your voice was faint as the grip around your wrist weakened. you tugged your wrist away from him, bringing it back to your side. you knew it was over a long time ago, but you forgave him because you really did love him. you kept finding excuses to stay that would maim you more.

you knew you should leave him to lick his own wounds and move on, it's the most humans thing to do. possibly, if you abandoned him, he would move on as well, and treat his next significant other better.

you stared into his chocolate-brown eyes that used to look at you as if you were the world to him. now, they stared at you as if you were a stranger. his brown hair that he would only let you ruffle, became everyone's favorite thing to touch as time flew by. his hands that used to always interlock with yours were always in his pockets.

all of the things you loved about him had to be abandoned.

you turned around, facing away from the person you love the most and walked. you walked away as he stood there watching your figure become smaller and smaller.

. . .

the following days were filled with agony and excruciation. you took a day off from school right after the break-up and surrounded yourself with blankets and tissues. there were missed calls from your friends, asking you where you were, but you simply ignored them and swallowed yourself with tears.

when you returned to school, the world around you seemed so lucent and blithesome. there were students jubilantly chatting with their friends and couples joyously holding hands. your friends realized how red and puffy your eyes were and knew exactly what happened. they embraced you with warm arms and told you encouraging words.

it was hard avoiding oikawa because you guys were in the same homeroom class. everywhere you went, he would always be there. you had to choke back your tears every time you saw him because he seemed so rapturous. he still had fangirls surrounding him and he seemed to be enjoying his time being single.

after a couple of weeks and months, you found yourself recovering. you focused on school more, and your grades were slowly improving. your friends saw you making process and were so gratified for you. your heart didn't shatter into pieces every time you saw oikawa. you simply ignored him and enjoyed your company with your friends.