「ハイキュー」
"You don't win alone. That's just how it is."
- Kageyama Tobio
─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───
saudade :
(n.) a nostalgic longing to be near again to something or someone that is distant, or that has been loved and then lost...
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"it's sad when someone you know becomes someone you knew."
— henry rollins
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your smile.
your eyes.
your laugh.
tendou loved everything about you, and he still does. you were his first friend and his first love. you were his motivation to go to school and doing anything with you made him so happy. whether it be studying for upcoming exams or scaring people on halloween.
growing up, he was easily bullied due to his hair color or the way his eyes looked. everytime he would look up, he would see people judging him or eyeing him with weird looks. so, he was always used to looking down at his shoes. looking up at people and making eye contact seemed impossible for the young tendou.
but ever since you came into his life, he found himself slowly being able to see the color and shape of people's eyes. it was challenging at first. even simply whipping his head up for a few seconds felt emotionally draining for him.
but with your constant encouragement and support, he found himself looking at his classmate's face and sometimes even talking to them. he found himself gaining confidence and it was all thanks to you. his smile found their way towards his lips and as time passed, he was known for his cheerful and laid back personality.
but even after all these years, he only found his heart beating for one person, which was you. no matter how breathtaking someone was, he only found you to be the one for him.
he fell asleep thinking about you. he daydreamed about you constantly during class. he wrote your name on the corner of his notebook without realizing it. you were always on his mind.
but, he had never had the courage to tell you his feelings. and as the two of you began high school, it became more challenging for him to tell you.
you made new friends, and started hanging out with them more than him. you started eating lunch with them, and walked home with them. gradually, it felt like he didn't know you as well.
you seemed like someone different. you were surrounded by people he didn't know. you were always smiling and laughing with people other than him. he couldn't find the moment to talk to you.
he felt replaced.
he felt alone.
did you replace him with someone more interesting? someone more fun to hang around with? did you get tired of him?
wasn't he your best friend?
"tendou, i started dating y/n," his friend, ushijima wakatoshi, stated during practice with your arm wrapped around his. you had a faint blush on your cheeks and a smile so breathtaking. you had never smiled at him like that.
ushijima's words came crashing down on him. he saw it coming.
he realized you coming to his practice recently. at first, he thought you were here for him. but your eyes were always fixated on the ace. no matter how hard he tried to get your attention, you smiled and waved towards ushijima, not him.
no matter how much he prepared himself to hear those words, he still couldn't stop his hands from trembling. he bit his own lips as he kept repeating your words in his head. he watched you smile and felt his heart cracking into pieces.
"congrats wakatoshi, y/n!!" he said with a bright smile. "just don't invite me to your dates because i don't want to see you guys being lovey dovey to each other, yuck." he laughed it off like he always did.
he's sure, no one knew the pain he was in when he congratulated the two of you. he wanted to be the one standing next to you. he wanted to be the one wrapping his arm around you. he wanted to be yours.
but, he will never be.
he will never be the reason for the adoration in your eyes, or your laugh, or your smile.
he'll watch you fall in love with someone other than him, and it'll be okay. because you'll be smiling, even if he's not the reason.
┏━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━┓
i love you, but there's no space for me.
┗━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━┛
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hope you enjoyed ??
question of the day: what's the last thing you do before you go to bed?
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aaaa,, i can't write angst. i kept rewriting this over and over again. i just couldn't imagine tendou being sad bc he's just a ball of sunshine and ahhhh,, i hope you guys enjoyed it though
