The Movies Make It Look Easy

Chapter 30

This time when he looked up he didn't look away. His brow furrowed, "And why aren't you answering?"  

I lifted one shoulder insouciantly while trying to stifle a yawn. "She's been calling every day, pestering me about flights."  

He looked blankly at me for a moment before comprehension dawned on his face. "I forgot you're going home for the holidays...when is your flight?" He asked it quietly like my answer was of great importance to him.  

I smiled sheepishly. "I haven't even looked yet, hence the ten million phone calls from my mother."  

He gazed about the room, "It'll be weird not having you around." He looked back down at the paper in front of him before I could even open my mouth to answer, effectively ending the conversation.

I picked up my book and was about to open it again when a thought popped into my head. I'd never asked Nick what he was doing for the holidays. I remembered thinking about it weeks ago but had forgotten to ask. "Hey Nick?" I asked, putting my book down again.  

"Mmm?" he murmured absently without looking up.  

"What are you doing for the holidays?"  

His hand stilled and he just stared unseeingly at the sheet in front of him for a moment before he resumed drawing. I looked at him curiously, wondering what that was about. He was silent so long I was debating whether or not I should just drop it or ask again.  

Before I could make a decision though, he spoke. "I'll stay here." He said it so quietly that I unconsciously leaned in closer to him. He still refused to look up but he'd stopped drawing completely now as well.  

I took a moment to get my thoughts in order. "But...what about Christmas?" It was almost whispered but I don't know why. I just had a sudden urge not to break the silence, like if I did something horrible would happen. I tried to shake off the strange and irrational feeling as he answered me.  

"I usually go to Mark's for Christmas dinner."  

I frowned, "What about your family?" I said it hesitantly, not sure what to expect. He never talked about his family.  

He looked up then. The expression on his face almost broke my heart. There were so many emotions fighting for dominance - Sadness, bitterness, loneliness, pain and last of all anger. I knew the anger wasn't directed at me but I still had to stop myself from recoiling and flinching as it washed over me. As soon as it came, it was gone, locked up inside him, a blank mask covering his features, making him look almost like a stranger and that hurt almost as much as the anger.  

"Doesn't matter" he said without any emotion whatsoever. He may as well have been a robot.  

"Nick" I said weakly. Even as I spoke I didn't know what else to say so I settled on placing my hand lightly just above his left knee. I removed it quickly when I felt him tense.  

"Just drop it please." Again he didn't look up, just stared at his drawing and for the first time since we'd been sitting together, I really wanted to know what was on that piece of paper...What had he created?  

"Okay" I said softly. 

I picked my book up again but I couldn't concentrate, partly because the atmosphere had suddenly become tense, the air between us thick with whatever Nick wasn't telling me, and partly because the wheels in my brain were beginning to turn as nascent ideas flew every which way in my head.  

After about five minutes of staring blankly ahead of me and thinking, I gathered my book and iPod in one hand, using the other to push myself off the ground. I couldn't stand the awkwardness; I missed the comfortable silences we usually found so easy to maintain.  

When I was standing, I bent to grab my phone off the ground. When I straightened again, I turned on my heel, walking around the couch and going to my room.  

I dropped the book and iPod on my bed, already dialling home. I knew if I didn't call, my mother would continue to hound me until I eventually picked up and then nobody would be in a good mood. I stared at my closed door as if I could see through it to the guy who had undoubtedly not moved an inch since I left. I wouldn't be surprised if he hadn't even looked up as I walked away.

I snapped back to attention when I heard my mother's voice in my ear. "Shannon, are you there?"

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Hey sorry it's so short!  

I'm sorry to say that I'm only going to be uploading at the weekend because I'm busy with school and because it's my last year it's freakin intense! (A grrr!) ...*sigh*  

Anyway let me know what you're thinking (about the story :D)  

And give me some love? :)

Kaz xoxo