I thought the spark which your love ignited, will lit up my heart...
Least I know it will burn my soul into ashes...
"Dad, I want you to ask the lawyer to prepare the transfer papers first thing in the morning," I run my finger around the rim of the empty glass of water placed in front of me.
I came to my parents' house and told them everything, excluding Nathan's betrayal as they would have felt extremely hurt. I can see in their eyes the news of their daughter's broken marriage is deeply affecting them, but for the sake of me they are trying to keep a brave face.
"Transfer papers? Why do you want to transfer all the shares to him?" Dad asks, his brows pinched in confusion and anger," Sell all the shares and let him suffer, as you have more shares on your name than him."
"I am not a selfish person. I can't let all the other people suffer who are working under him as any such thing will directly affect them. And he worked really hard to bring his company to the top, I can't let anyone's hard work go waste like this," I reply, as mom nods her head in agreement.
"I just do not want to do anything with Nathan Knight. I want to erase his name from my life in every way possible," I purse my lips for a moment and then continue," we do a lot of business with the Knights and I would like that, things should continue the way they are. But I will not deal with them, just keep me out of the things which involves them."
Mostly all the business of Richard is handled by Nathan. He manages both companies, his and his father's, at the same time. So any business with them means dealing with Nathan, and I don't want to associate with him in any way.
"Don't worry about that, I will personally make sure no Knight will be able to reach you," Dad assures me, his voice laced with anger.
"There is another thing which I want to talk about with you, guys," I say, as they both look at each other then at me and nod.
"I want to come out in open about my harassment," I inform them and wait for them to take in the news.
"Why?" Dad asks calmly, while confusion is written all over mom's face.
"When weakness becomes a threat, then it should be eliminated," I recall how Sharon suggested that Nathan should use my secret against me.
"We kept this hidden from everyone to protect you, then why you want everyone to about this now?" Mom questions me.
I move my eyes to Dad, who is looking like he is considering my words.
"The girl who needed protection was some other girl, from some other time," I walk around the table and place my hand on my mom's shoulder, "I am not that girl, not anymore... I don't need to hide this thing. I can handle things by myself now," I say reassuringly.
"Whatever you have decided, we are with you," Dad stands up from his place and wraps his arm around my shoulder, " we love you and we are so proud of you," his voice chokes lightly at the end.
"I will call the lawyer and inform him to make the papers," Dad clears his throat and announces taking out his phone from his pocket and quickly leaves the room.
"Please tell me, how are you feeling?" Mom asks, as Dad steps outside the room, her eyes moistening.
"Honestly, I do not feel anything," I reply truthfully, as I pull a chair next to her and sit.
"No anger, no hurt, no pain...nothing," I shake my head and shrug," I am simply not feeling anything... feeling nothing is good, right?" I ask her.
Instead of replying she pulls me into a hug and I feel I hear her saying "No".
"I am fine... there is no need to cry as I have cried enough and now I am done with crying, "I pull back and wipe her tears with my thumb. She gently caresses my face as she blinks her tears.
"I had a really long day today, and I am feeling tired so I'll get to bed now," I inform and hug her then retire to the bedroom.
Entering the room, I go through my daily night routine, but all my movements seem robotic. Numerous times my phone rings, only to be transferred to voicemails, which I am sure will remain unheard. Getting under the covers, I turn off the lights waiting for the moment when the weight of everything will come crashing down on me. But it never came. My eyes are as dry as a desert, maybe in last three months, I have cried so much that there are no tears left to cry.
However, one thing is different... there is no aching in my heart. The yearning I felt for Nathan is gone. It is replaced by emptiness. I guess a part of me, didn't die alone...it took away all the love I felt for him along with it, the love for him also died today. At least something good came out of all this, I am finally able to free myself from him in all sense.
Not anymore bonded by vows or by heart.
Slowly, my room's door opens then closes. Without even looking, I know who this person is. I turn on the lights and sit up. Scooting to the left side, I pat on the empty space on my bed.
"What do you want me to do?" Natalie sighs and crawls into the bed, "how do you want me to kill him?"
"I don't want you to do anything," I shake my head, "and I don't want to kill anyone."
"Beth called me and told me everything," Natalie turns her face to me and give me a pointed look," everything which she knows... but now I want to know what she doesn't know. I want you to tell me everything... I mean everything."
"Before that, I want to let you know that I completely support your decision of sharing your past with everyone. It was not your fault that you had to face something like that, so you don't need to hide it. Let people know what a strong and amazing person you are, that even after everything you had gone through, nothing could dull your shine."
Out of habit, my hand goes to my ring finger, as I had the habit to play with the ring idly. Realizing there is no ring in my finger anymore, I run my thumb on the ring mark and feeling light callus on the inside of my finger.
"It will take time to get back to normal," Natalie eyes my action and says.
"Yeah...maybe I shouldn't have worn it regularly when I knew I had to take it off one day," I reply and pull the covers a little, half lying down.
"I am not only talking about that mark on your finger," she says.
Silence surrounds us, both of us not saying anything. I know she is waiting for me to tell her everything but she does not force me to speak. After a moment I begin telling her, as each and every moment plays in my mind like a movie. I tell her everything... whatever moments we had shared, about Ashley and finally his deception. My voice sounds as emotionless as I am.
"Do you really believe that he can do something like this?" Natalie asks when I finished speaking, "I have seen the change in him, I have witnessed his care for you. I had been with him when you went missing in the club... he was worried sick for you."
"Almost half of his company's shares are on my name, undoubtedly he would have been worried, if something had happened to me then he would lose them," I reply casually.
"Everything was just an act from the beginning. The only thing which is real in all this is his hatred. But now it is over, I am done with him and his lies," I close my eyes and sigh.
"But what if there is something more to what you have heard?" she persists, surprising me as I never thought she would ever take side with Nathan," I believe whatever you told me is right, but somewhere I felt that Nathan has changed and it is hard for me to ignore."
"Unrealistic expectations lead to disappointments, I have learned that hard way," I sigh and rub my temples," I open up my heart and shared my painful past with him because I trusted him. He lost that trust the moment he deceived me."
"You know, he could have just asked me and I would have given him anything. There was no need to play with me or my feelings, but still, he did. However, that was not enough for him so he disclosed my past to her, it was something that should have been stayed between us, and it is impossible for me to overlook that," I lightly shake my head.
"You love him so much, how could he do this to you?" she asks, her voice filled with emotions.
"Loved him," I correct her," But now I do not have any feelings for him, not even hatred."
"I am always there for you... we are there for you," her voice lightly quivers, " Talk to us, share your pain with us, just don't lock everything inside you."
"I know, but there is nothing to talk," I say quietly, then turn to her," Although, I think it is time that you should take me away," I tell her, recalling the time I told her when things will become unbearable for me I will ask her to drag me away from all this.
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