hey guys.
im sorry if you are expecting an update but maybe not tonight. not tomorrow or any day tbh.
as you all know - which you hear from so many authors - i also went through a tough time and get depressed about something especially family problems. mine is different tho. i told you guys (or may have not) that i couldnt go to college this year bc i flunked my exam badly. i did quite well actually except my history grades. im not good w/ history so i failed that only grade. and its the key to go to college. i retake my paper in june and failed again EVEN THO I WAS CONFIDENT W/ MY ANSWERS. that is malaysian education; a fucked up. they expected so much from us and expects us to be smart as robots. anyway, rn ive wasted a year of my life and ive never felt so dead.
im disappointed. i guess this is what i deserve after i made fun of those of my classmates who couldnt take studies seriously and would laugh at them if they fail. now im the one who is laughed at. idk who would but someone who hates me out there might be laughing at me rn. when i received the news i failed, i almost wanted to kill myself. there were pills in the kitchen and i nearly plan to swallow them all. but i couldnt, for some reason.
god im so fucked up rn. i wanted to cry but i cant. the only thing im feeling now is depression and despair. i want to give up.
because of what im feeling, i want to take a break from writing first. need to get away from everything and just focus on being happy w/ other things.
some might not care but i am done. im done living.