requested by kenmahs i am glad you read my book; i've been reading your books before you knew i existed omg. this is for you!
You stared down at the pregnancy test in your hands; positive. Your hands were bone shaking and it was eating you up inside. After letting it sink in, your hid your face in your hands and cry.
What am I supposed to do? I'm only 19 and still in college, for fuck's sake. How is Tetsurou going to react?
As far as you concern, Kuroo never mentioned of children before so it scared you; if Kuroo finds out you were carrying his child, he is going to get mad. Mad as in blaming you for not taking birth pills or reminded him to use a condom – he always blames you but only on minor things. If he knows, things aren't going to go well.
You thought back on that night you two had sex without protection – you were at home waiting for Kuroo to arrive, he came an hour later feeling gloomy and depressed, he asked whether you two can just 'fuck' so he can forget about it, you two did it, you woke up to him not in bed, a few weeks later you feel sick, your period is late and that's when you thought something wasn't right. You're not usually late so it occurred to you that maybe you're pregnant. You checked and there you are, holding the test in fear.
You realized that night he was being persistent into doing it and you forgot about reminding him since he distracted you, taking you all night and fuck you up on that night. Your hands trembled in anger and threw the test against the wall causing it to break into half.
"Fuck you, Tetsurou!" You screamed in anger and cried yourself to sleep in the bathroom.
* * *
Kuroo came over again and this time, he wanted to just see how you were doing because you haven't contacted him for days. He unlocked the door with a spare key and made himself at home in your apartment. He removed his shoes.
"(Name), are you home? You didn't call me so I got worried..." He said but there was no answer. He hummed himself confused. He proceeded to your room and he was greeted by darkness. He turned on the lights and found a lump underneath the blanket. Sighing, he moved towards the blanket. "Oi, (Name)-chan~ don't just sleep around. You're going to get fat if you lay around doing nothing."
A mumble came out from you and he cocked an eyebrow. "Huh? I can't hear you, babe. You have to speak louder. I'm worried about you so I-"
"Like hell you are!" You popped out of the blanket with tear stained face. Kuroo jumped back. "Look what did you to me, Tetsurou! I'm done! My future has been flushed down the toilet because of you! I can't go on anymore, I can't..."
Kuroo held you, "Hey hey hey, what happened? What did I do, babe?" he asked concerned.
You shakily grabbed his hand and put it on your stomach, "Tetsurou, when a woman tells her lover to put his hand on her stomach, what does it mean to you?"
Kuroo thought of an answer, his eyebrows met, "It means she's telling him to feel her stomach and it always said she's..." he stopped to look at you with wide eyes. "Y-You're..."
"Tetsurou, I'm pregnant. And it's yours," You said as his hand left a warm feeling on your stomach. "That night when you got depressed... you didn't use protection."
"I swear I did, I always come prepared!" He exclaimed getting off bed. "I did use protection; it just... broke!"
"No, you didn't, Tetsurou! I remembered very well! You were depressed and you couldn't think straight! I'm telling you the truth!"
He scoffed, "As if you knew how it felt to be depressed, woman. If I didn't use them, which means you wanted to get pregnant!" He accusingly points at you.
Your eyes went big. "T-Tetsurou, I never wanted this! I mean... not now anyway but that's not the point! Don't blame me! You were persistent to have sex with me that day and I agreed!"
"Now it's my fault. Hah, great."
"Asshole!" You threw one of your pillows at him which he blocked. "I knew you'd blame me for this! I knew you would! You know what?! If you don't want the child, fine! Get out of my house, Kuroo! I never want to see you again!"
"Don't be immature, (Name)! Let's just meet the doctor and-"
"I'm not wasting my money on doctors who'd confirm of my pregnancy because I KNOW, KUROO! I KNOW WHEN I AM PREGNANT OR NOT AND I AM NOW! GET OUT!"
You used all of your strength to push Kuroo out of your apartment and he tried to hold back but he couldn't, due to your pushy push. He wanted to say something but he was surrounded by anger so he stayed on his ground and faced you.
"I am not leaving until I know that it is my child, (Name)." He said with a lower voice, scaring you for the first time. "I don't want you to lie to me. Tell me the truth. Is that my child or Daichi-san's?"
Daichi? How is Daichi involved in this?
"What, in the name of Gods, did you get that from, Kuroo?! I never slept with Daichi-san! He's like a brother to me!"
"DON'T LIE!" He snapped slapping your hand away that was pushing him. "I never planned to have a child with you! Not in the future! Not any when! How the hell did this happen?!"
"H-How could you...?" You cried.
Kuroo's sense came back to life and his eyes has never grown big before. "W-Wait I didn't mean to-"
"Kuroo, temee yaro!" Daichi came out of nowhere and punched Kuroo in the face so hard he fell to the ground on his behind. Suga, Daichi's lover, came to you and hugged you as you cry like there's no tomorrow. Daichi continued to knock some senses into Kuroo while Suga led you back into your apartment to calm you down.
"Shh, it's OK, (Name). He's not touching you anymore," Suga embraced you after putting on a blanket on you. Suga felt you shaking and he whispered you calming words so you don't think too much. "Daichi is handling him... he's not going to hurt you anymore. I'm sorry, (Name)... Kuroo was having a drink with us and he got drunk after that. We didn't stop him."
But you didn't pay attention and continue to mourn over what happened a moment ago. You lay your head on his chest and fell asleep.
* * *
The bed-headed guy looked down at the paper photo and tears rolled down his cheeks as he remembered the good times he had with you. He just finished therapy for 2 years and now he's finally free so he could come see you. The picture he was holding was you in your high school years. You were smiling so widely and facing the side where Yaku took a photo of you and gave it to him. He was finally coming to see you. After 2 years, he is going to make up all the things he said about you. He is going to see you with the child. His child.
He heard you were staying in the Sawamura's residence and he has been talking with Daichi without you knowing. Daichi was still angry of Kuroo's actions but it was partly his fault for making him drink before meeting up with you. When finally he arrived Daichi's house, he pressed onto the doorbell. He fixed his hair and shirt collar. The door opened and Suga stood there with a small smile.
"Kuroo-san, welcome back," He greeted.
"What's up, Koushi." They shook hands and Kuroo stepped in.
"Daichi is expecting you; he's in the office." Suga told him.
"Wait, Koushi. Where's (Name)?" Was Kuroo's priority question.
Suga closed his eyes smiling, "Ah, Daichi will tell you about her. I don't know a thing."
"Did something happen?" He curiously inquired.
"No... not now, at least."
Kuroo was about to ask more when Daichi stepped out of his office, "Kuroo, I need to talk to you. Love, can you leave us for a moment?" He said to Suga who nods and left to the kitchen. Kuroo followed after Daichi and sat down. "Would you like tea or coffee?"
"I had coffee earlier, it's fine," Kuroo nicely declined. Daichi sat opposite of him and leaned forward. "So... did something happen with (Name) while I was gone?"
"Yes," Kuroo gulped, dreading for the answer. "Kuroo-san, after you were sent to the hospital for therapy, (Name) had a miscarriage. There was so much blood and she was weak at the time to notice so it was critical. Suga and I had to tell her the news her baby died and she... couldn't take it," His eyes shook as Daichi continued to say, "Kuroo, she killed herself after her baby's death. We found a letter to us and you. She wanted you to read it."
Kuroo gulped again, "Wh-When did she..."
"A few weeks after you were sent to the hospital. She committed suicide 2 days after her baby died."
"But it's my baby too!" Kuroo stood up in anger. "Did they say what caused it?!"
Daichi breathed out exasperatedly, "Caused by stress and depression, Kuroo. She told us exactly what you told her and you said she couldn't have known how it felt to be depressed. It killed you inside, did it? I guess that's what happens and it killed her baby. Your baby, too. Depression also murdered her, Kuroo. And guess whose fault was that?"
Kuroo couldn't add another word.
"It was yours, Kuroo."